Journal Entry ...thus far

2024 recap number 4

Onew's Circle album collage journal spread.

definitely random and out of motivation when I started this spread. You know, that time when all your brain can do was made your eyes and hand to doom scroll on the internet especially on Instagram. 😅 I mean obviously I wanted to create this spread since i printed the pictures but just lack motivation. Until on day in Mar, I thought, sit down and just start. 

I am happy that I pushed myself to make this and actually finished.

Not my best creation but I created something and to me that still counts as an accomplishment for the day. Yay me!! 👏

In addition, I will throw some of the journal spread I created and managed to take picture of and may or may not have been posted on my second IG - kalau sudah I posted on IG, just pretend I haven't 🤟

I needed this

Hi guys,

a very quick one.

I came across this vlogger as I was searching for Universal Studio Japan content (coz I wanna go back sooo bad!).

Her name is Gita. her USJ video was very entertaining and 'educational'? I like how she talked like a host show; straight forward and to the point. Curious, I clicked on her channel and found below video.

it's half an hour video and took a little patient to watch if this is not the kind of video you watch but give it a chance. I did. and i like it.



I hope, someone else will find this video insightful and hope it lightens your heart in any way, shape or form.


. . .

Wonderful Life

Take a look around and see the world we think we know

Then look closer

There's more to life than meets the eye

A beauty to behold

It's all much bigger than we know

It's only just beginning to unfold

So let it all unfold

Far beyond all reason in your mind

There's a world mysterious

There for you to find

All these questions

That we always have

All we are is curious

There's nothing wrong with that

So go 'round every corner

Search every part of the sky

'Cause a life that's full of wonder

Is a wonderful life

Dig beneath the surface

Find the lessons there to learn

And then dig deeper

Feed your intuition

Don't leave any stone unturned

Be the seeker of the truth

Listen when you hear it calling you

You know it's calling you

Far beyond all reason in your mind

There's a world mysterious

There for you to find

All these questions that we always have

All we are is curious

There's nothing wrong with that

So go 'round every corner

Search every part of the sky

'Cause a life that's full of wonder

Is a wonderful life

Is a wonderful life

Is a wonderful life

Is a wonderful life

And the answers aren't that far away

Look closer

Look closer

Look closer

Look closer

From: Smallfoot

Sang by: Zendaya

Hi Guys

Hi Guys.

I am back.

Miss me?

I know, I was gone and in all honesty, it's not entirely my fault.

Why? Here's why. Storytime, lesgo!


Blogspot had been popping up alert about them no longer connected/related to Google, or something along those lines? and when they said it won't affect the users' experience, I didn't think much of it.

until! here we are.

I can only access my Blogspot page website version on my laptop AND when I'm using wifi.

as for on my phone, it refuses to load, telling me that there's no connection.

not mine. thanks to respective owner and Google.

I'm using safari by the way. and when I used the same app to open AsianFanfics.com, it loads just fine. like, watchu mean connection lost?!

I don't know if I ever mention this before but I don't have internet wifi at home. My source of internet is my phone data.

So, I tethered my phone internet with my laptop, as i often do at home, and try to open my blog. it gave that t-rex No Internet connection thing. 

not mine. thanks to respective owner and Google.

I frowned in annoyance and tried opening Instagram and what do you know, the page load just fine!

At first, I blame blogspot. then i blame my phone connection provider, and then blame blogspot some more. coz we blame others first before we blame ourselves whenever something inconvenience us. ◕‿◕

but today, I decided, to just accept that I can't update my blog at home.

I'm in Starbucks right now composing this. wawawa

I have no actual pictures of my own to share. I did thought of just composing this here and edit the photos later at home but then I realized:
isn't this post about how I can't open my blog at home?? ◔̯◔

So, I'll Google related photo soon. DONE!

I guess, i shouldn't be complaining about this "can't get into my own blog page" -ish becoz let's be one hando persen real here; i have not been rajin for so long to update my blog anyway. 
Also, it is sooooo my life; when I want it, i can't have it. LOL

ah well...

Next!

Life update?

Not much..I might share a story or two from my Seoul Trip last February. :D

again, if you feel the need to update yourself with my life, you can always follow me on my social media accounts. which for safety reasons, I won't be giving them out here. LOL

Oh!

Onew, Key, and Minho are now doing their mandatory military service. I'm especially proud of Minho for going into the Marines. only about 3 other celebrities went there. It was said to be the toughest branch of the military. But I expect nothing less of Choi Minho. I am proud of all my SHINee boys thus far, all three of them went on to lead their platoon for the first phase of their 2 years service. I'll try sharing some pictures when I can find it. 

FOUND IT~!

View this post on Instagram

SO PROUDDDD🤧 . . #shinee #onew #jonghyun #key #minho #taemin #shineeisfive #forever5hinee #thestoryoflight #shineeworld #ace #base #face #voice #kpop #샤이니 #온유 #종현 #키 #민호 #태민 #샤월 #진기야_기범아_민호야_기다릴게 @shinee

A post shared by #SHINeeisFIVE💎 (@ontokkeytsune) on Apr 22, 2019 at 3:16am PDT

satu ani saja lah. malas ku berusaha cari more. ☜-(ΘLΘ)-☞

and I guess, that is it for now.

I don't know when i'm gonna update next.

Don't forget about me, yeah?

Jaane~

. . .

Rose-colored boi

found via Google

by Noxmoony on DeviantArt

Rose-colored boy

I hear you making all that noise

About the world you want to see

And oh, I'm so annoyed

'Cause I just killed off what was left of the optimist in me

I'm right at the end of my rope

A half-empty girl

Don't make me laugh, I'll choke

Just let me cry a little bit longer

I ain't gon' smile if I don't want to

Hey man, we all can't be like you

I wish we were all rose-colored too

I want you to stop insisting that I'm not a lost cause

'Cause I've been through a lot

Really all I've got is just to stay pissed off

Leave me here a little bit longer

I think I wanna stay in the car

I don't want anybody seeing me cry now

You say "We gotta look on the bright side"

I say "Well maybe if you wanna go blind"

You say my eyes are getting too dark now

But boy, you ain't ever seen my mind

Just let me cry a little bit longer

I ain't gon' smile if I don't want to

Hey, man, we all can't be like you

I wish we were all rose-colored too

. . .

Looking back to:

24th July 2014

where I posted 






that was two years ago and nothing much has change about that Key point.

come to think of it, nothing much has change since my Westlife days.

the only big difference I can think of right now is that;
back then, I was so convinced that I'm going to marry cBryan.
Now, I'm convinced that I'm going to marry cOnew.



maybe when i got married someday, I won't be this obsessive anymore 

Being Dramatic o(≧▽≦)o

Ladies and Gentlemen

I am proud to announce

the start of my

just to remind you that the upcoming throw back posts won't be a total 'repost'. they are mostly a 'recap' and 'highlights' of an old post. ✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌

with that being said,

the first one will be posted shortly 

(▰˘◡˘▰)

 . . .

I just started learning how to draw with MS Paint (the proper and pro-like way) via youtube (yeah, might as well use that time I spent on youtube worth while). 

So please bear with my sakai-ness. v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ

Brilliant Idea

Hello everyone!
It's me, Az Nuur.

I just had this brilliant idea that I wana do for the rest of my posts this year;

doing a 'throw back' post until the 6th Dec 2016!

Why, you might ask? Why on the 6th?

Well, if you didn't know, that was the day I created this blogspot account.

the idea came when I was 'calculating' (using calculator of course *roll eyes* working in a bank does not guarantee your excellence to do math in your head) how many posts i should post for the remaining months left in 2016 so that I could have 1000th post by end of this year.

So, I went thru my 'archives' and found out when I created this account (on the 6th Dec 2008!) but I was not active until Mar 2009. you can go check the validity of my story on the right *points to the right corner of this blog page*

SEKALI!

teklik tah ku!

why not I do

Countdown To 1000th sempena my 8th anniversary with blogspot

*throws confetti*

I'm not gona repost any of my old post. I'm mostly gona highlight them, you know, like those throw back thursday kinda thing. (or was it Throw Back Sundays?)

I'm still gona be posting my normal blog updates.

this brilliant idea is mostly to motivate me to post more.
and a reason to use my surpluses of Planner I got from last years
and maybe (JUST MAYBE) I can start to 'manage' my life better while doing stuff that i jot down
instead of procrastinating stuff n shit
OR instead of forever lazying around

yeah, those are good enough reason for me to end this post and start 'planning'

LET'S DO THIS!

I'm only human

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days

If that's what you want

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh

If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it

But I'm only human 
and I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
I crash and I break down

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of the world
If that's what you need

I can do it

But I'm only human

Just a little human

I can take so much

Until I've had enough

. . .

from the song Human by Christina Perri.

Hannah Montana 2.016

I thought I've watched the entire Hannah Montana series.

turns out, I only watch up until half way thru season 3 (HM has four seasons).

So, since the 2nd night of Raya until the 3rd night, I've been watching Season 4 (called Hannah Montana Forever) and I was hit with a realization that I know all the HMF songs (coz I bought the OST album) but never actually watch the episodes.

Google is such a good bestfriend at this time of need. ٩◔‿◔۶


I was almost teary for the final episode, Actually, season 4 is really very touchy from start to finish. 
Coz, it's the final season atu kali. 
plus, it's when Miley started to realize that she can't have the best of both world at the same time anymore. and everything just went from a tear falling to crying buckets moment after that (no actually tears were harm. I just have a lot of feels).


I'll Always Remember You (the most elaborate flashback/reminiscing clip in history. EVER)


Wherever I Go (awesome fanmade clips)



I shall rerun the entire series soon. 

for now, I should get some shut eyes.

it's been a looonnngggg day.

. . .

Feelings

Remember when I said I was a little down these past few months?
well..I just heard an old song and thought, "this describe EXACTLY how I feel"

Simple Plan - Welcome to My Life

lets quote some of the verses:

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place,

Like somehow you just don't belong

And no one understands you?

Do you ever wanna run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room

With the radio on turned up so loud

That no one hears you're screaming?

Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more

Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With their big fake smiles and stupid lies

While deep inside you're bleeding

No one ever lied straight to your face

And no one ever stabbed you in the back

You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay

Everybody always gave you what you wanted

You never had to work it was always there

You don't know what it's like

No, you don't know what it's like

When nothing feels all right

You don't know what it's like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

I know, such deep shit.

but really, this is how I feel.
I'm not even exaggerating.
the one coded in blue is how I think of other people.
I know, that is very negative of me. and very unfair to other people coz I don't know what they've gone through to be what they are just as they don't know what I'm going through.

I don't know since when but I've been saying that I am self-motivated person.
today, I realized that maybe I got that from doing my CV.
which leads me to realize that I really am not (a self-motivated person).
I just thought that I am.

I feel sorry for myself
coz no one else going to be

#ToughLove
#StrongHeart
#ToughLuck

but I guess, that's just life.

a/n: I know I said I'm gona stop posting things like this one but I think its worth the share. maybe this post will motivate other people to be better at controlling their feelings and thoughts than I do.

. . .

DIY design for phonecase Part 3

I honestly thought the previous post was a January post. :S
rupanya, bukan.
man time flies!

I am going to share with you what happened with my DIY phonecase no. 3: paper design.

Well, it's not really a design. 
it was mostly just shaped, cut and pasted.

Step 1. pick a phone case and measure the size.


Step 2. Cut your choice of background paper


Step 3. Choose your bias pictures


Step 4. Cut out bias picture


Step 5. Use craft glue to stick background paper and bias picture together

Step 6. Stick that onto the back of your clear casing. 


Step 7. Cover your paper up till the edge of your casing with your Multi Medium Matte adhesive.


Step 8. left to dry.

Step 9. use

Step 10. realizing the mistake you make 

Step 11. no longer using. now sits in my drawer for a self reminder of what not to do with DIY paper design for phonecase.


my mistakes:
a. I think I need to cut the background smaller so it fits the back side of the casing better.
b. I should have used the Glossy effect instead of Matte.
c. maybe a soft gel liked casing isn't the best material to use for paper DIY phonecase design.
d. maybe the type of paper I used is too thick that's why it wouldn't stick. 

Hmmm.. I don't know, I think I'm gonna give this DIY another try before i proceed with the 'painting' DIY.

. . .

a/n: I learn mostly from Youtube

Why?

Most of the time, I'm not even sure who am I doing this for?

Is it really for me? 

or for whom ever that I'm supposed to prove myself to?

I've always thought, when I'm older, I'd be certain about alot of other things but I guess we are forever the student of life. 
because no matter what you've learned last year or the year before that, you just don't have a clue. or you do have a clue but too stubborn to change your ways.

and why am I so angry all the time? and bitter? why?

I've consulted myself, saying, I'm worth the while. No matter how much I've lagged behind,  I am worth something. 

So, why do I feel like I'm worthless? why do I feel like I'm not good enough?

Am I doing this wrong? Niat tu salah kh?

I just want to know. 

I know and very well adapted to 'everything happened for a reason' concept.  but didn't you wish, even once, that you know what those reasons are?

. . .

I never asked

You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to 'em
But I never asked

So let me thank you for time
And try to not waste any more of mine
Get out of here fast

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

Sara Bareilles - King of Anything.

have a listen here:



. . .

No Regrets

was listening to PilihanFM one morning..and I heard this song..

my new resolution for 2012 (punya banyak lah ko punya resolution..resolution th apa...)

but really, it's a nice song..one of those motivational songs...

this is Dappy's No Regrets




from youtube, TheDappyVEVO

. . .