October is here

hi lovely people!

if you think that this post was made in a rush, it was.

LOL.

I was being lazy and I thought, lets do another scrapbook style theme. since aku banyak paper lawa. I'm not saying doing scrapbook style is lazy, I'm just saying I am lazy.

Here it is:

I didn't even manage to do my Data Tracker yet. LOL literally done these two last night.

I tried to video my progress but I stopped half way coz my camera batt died, and ended up just finishing the deco without filming. Maybe I'll just continue filming my Data Tracker.

Sebenarnya, I wanted to do different theme, yg macam potion2. since, for some reason, October ani kana associate with witches. 

Example:

Pretty kan?

I should have pursue them but I was lazy and still am lazy. I just want an easy way out.

TAPI

seeing as this book / journal I am using is almost finish, maybe I'll redo the theme in the new one. maybe. no pressure tho.

😬

into the final quarter of 2020, how are we feeling thus far?

. . .

Friendship

For the past weeks,
I've been thanking God for those best friends I kept and will continue to keep.

I don't have to mention names becoz they already know who they are.

I just deleted a whole bunch of paragraphs before deciding on posting this one.

I was angry and pissed and wrote a bunch of details which I'm sure no one wants to read.

So, instead,

lets attached a couple of quotes about friendship.

but in the end,

If you have to explain something so meaningful like this to someone,

you have to wonder,

is it worth my time?

If you can't figure it out yourself, others can't really help you.


. . . 

argh! let's cue Jojo - FAB song!

In the End, It doesn't even matter

It starts with
One thing I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
I wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when...

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end

You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when...

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you


- In The End, Linkin Park.

. . .

Quotes time

I wrote on my FB status few days ago and goes;

I guess if you wanted to do it, you would've done it

then

There's a also a famous malay proverb:

Nak Hendak Seribu Daya, Tak Hendak Seribu Dalih.

and

Here comes the English's one;

When There's a Will, There's a Way

These three quotes or saying have been running thru my mind lately. 

When I posted that FB status, I was feeling done and accepting the situation I was in.
the next two was me trying to motivate myself.

*shrug*
I don't wana go back to how I was few months back but people disappoint.

. . .

I'm only human

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days

If that's what you want

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh

If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it

But I'm only human 
and I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
I crash and I break down

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of the world
If that's what you need

I can do it

But I'm only human

Just a little human

I can take so much

Until I've had enough

. . .

from the song Human by Christina Perri.

Be Kind, it's free

Mom is the kind of person who is so nice to other people even if that people was so damn mean to her in the past.

I could never understand her.

until I was a little bit older.
and recent events inspired me to make this post


1. Regarding work
no matter what personal hatred you have to your work mate, kerja tetap kerja. Think of your 'periuk nasi'. No one else will jaga that. so, peduli apa with what they say behind your back or whatever. bukan durang yg bagi ko gaji. So, maintain your work etiquette.

2. Relatives
you know how some cousins don't get along with each other? well, I have them too. and I know my family is not the only one yg ada this kind of relatives. but be kind. biar tia urg bejahat arah tani, jangan tani pun ikut bejahat jua. If like that, sama lah tani dengan durang. it's better to be remembered being the kind one than being remembered the opposite, right?

of course, I'm only human.

Being kind is a very exhausting.

not just mentally but spiritually as well.

It's not fair, is it?

Why do good things happened to bad people?

Bad people don't deserve it.

Why do bad things happened to good people?

Good People don't deserve it.

A1 - Good Things, Bad People.

If you want it, get it

Running away isn't the way

If you want it bad enough

get it, don't give up.

A1 - Bad Enough

Hellew

heard this last few weeks (or maybe even last month)

"You ruined me and I settle for less" - unknown (coz I'm not sure if it's from a movie or a song I first heard it from)

and I thought, and nodded, "banar tu".

Skali, while I was 'menjamur' laundry tadi, it came to me. 

No, that's not 'banar'. Not in my case any way.

My heart was trampled on so bad that I have lost trust in men completely. that's not settling for less, is it?

The one that approaches me after that reminded me so much of him (that they would trampled on my heart too). that's not settling for less. 

I know I have crushes (YES plural) but that's just it. crushes (from a far).
I may have dreamt about them being this so called Prince Charming that every girl wishes to have but again, it's just a dream.

I may have settled for him(1) if ever he's going to notice me.

or

him(2) if he doesn't have a girlfriend already.

My life is full of 'might have' right now. I would approach either men but then what would become of my dignity/pride/ego?

sigh. odd possibilities.

ok, what's this post becoming into? ahahaha

ah, well.. point is, I don't settle for less. and that Quote is not for me.

coz, if it is, I would be dating some lowly, scumbags, who I have to take care of by now. when in reality, I need someone to take care of me for once. coz I think I'm getting tired of taking care of everybody else but me. seriously.


. . .

Remind Myself

 I found a piece of paper when I was doing my spring cleaning last two weeks. I wrote some self-motivational words on it. I don't know why I made a copy of it but I guess it was because I can relate so much to it. Even now.

So, I'm gonna share what I wrote on that piece of paper here. I hope it'll somebody too in one way or another. ;)

. . .

Life will get better; It always does.

You're a wonderful person, Just remember that you don't have to expect so much from yourself. Try pampering yourself a little more. Take more time just for you.

Try concerntrating on taking just one step and one situation at a time. Don't try to think about everything at once. Try putting your own best interest first.

Make time to take good care of yourself. you are precious and important, and you deserve peace and happiness, it will happen if you can just hang in there. - Barbara Cage.

. . .

Brain Dead

I am brain dead. 

both for this blog and my story in asianfanfics.com 

I tried writing down something. but nothing seems to work.

Or I didnt try hard enough.

I saw a post from FB, shared by a friend. It says, "Read a Thousand books, and your words will flow like a river". I agreed completely. Coz it happened to me once. 

I used to read a lot; English novels, Malay novels. ALL of them. Sometimes I can finish a novel in two days! and it resulted in a lot of unfinished fanfics. LOL. ada plang yang finished but comparing the unfinished sama finished, manang unfinished lah.. ;P

But now, it took me FOREVER to finish a book. -___- and another eternaty to create a story. 

Like I said, I'm brain dead.

Maybe I should force myself to read more of often. Another quotes from Times bookstore, "Reading is to the mind like Exercise is to the body". or something like that. and once again, I *nod nod*

So, I shall finish this current book that I'm reading; How to Kill Your Husband (and other hand household hints) by Kathy Lette. 

Hwaiting!!


A/N: bmobile is being such an ass as of late. internet connection sucks. Telbru, do something about this.

it's True

When you've worked as long as I do,

In the same place, environment as I do,

with the same people as I do..

at some (or many2) point(s), when things get real bad or are stressing you out,

You'll learn to just go with it.

nya tani urg Brunei; masuk telinga kiri, kuar telinga kanan.

or as I love to say these days (or dari2 ku start pndi sanak ngan urg2 dsana atu)

"I don't give a damn, man"

Something to Share

annyeong..it's Monday and it's a public Holiday!!

YAY ME!!

public holiday for Hari Raya Aidiladha. ehee So, Eid Mubarak all.

moving on.

I found/heard this quote like, months ago. or maybe even last year. I finally managed or remembered to go and look for it today.

it was taken from the How I Met Your Mother TV show. the convo was between Ted and Stella. I was so touched when I heard it and I feel like, I wana share.

So, here goes...

"I know you're tired of waiting and you may have to wait a little while more but she's on her way, Ted. and she's getting here as fast as she can," - Stella.




So, yeah...it's something, right?

. . .

Why Do I Love You

ain't gonna show no weakness
I'm gonna smile and tell the whole world I'm fine
I'm gonna keep my senses
But deep down when no one can hear me
Baby i'll be crying for you...

why do I love you?
Don't even want to
Why do I love you like I do? like I always do...
You should've told me
why did you have to be untrue?



Westlife - Why Do I Love You

. . .

Just feels like it..

annyeong happy people..
hows April treating you so far? Good? Good.
am doing ok. a bit more calmer than I did couple of weeks ago. ;)

"So I might slipped again... that don't mean anything, I'm still good." - Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus's I'm still Good. (hence Onew's supposed thumbs up picture. and I want this tShirt!!! xD)

So, what are we goin to post today? *currently listening to Westlife's Gravity album. trying to determine my fav song(s) off this album. ;)*

erm..it's been awhile since I last post Quotes Project thingy, right? (aku pun nda sure whether this project ever been an on going project or not. lol! i guess they're just some random things i posted. xP)

random: Markie's voice is getting amazing-er in the Gravity album. n am pretty sure he's doin amazing-er live too.

ahaha see? random. xP

anyways, I shall cut and paste quotes that am posting on FB, via Status Shuffle application on there. it's useful every once in a while. (both for healing certain boredom and giving good encouragement at certain needed times ;) )

and I guess tonight's theme is Courage, Strength and Moving On? or something somewhere along that line.

*few minutes past* ahaha lupa ku am in the middle of doing a post here. ahaha

ok ok. lets post those quotes now, shall we?

"To get something you've never had, you have to so something you've never done!"

"If you can't fly, RUN! If you can't run, WALK! If you can't walk, CRAWL! But by all means keep MOVING" - Martin Luther King Jr.

"Scars remind us of where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going."

"I am strong because I am weak.
I am beautiful because I know my flaws.
I am fearless because I've been afraid.
I can laugh because I've known sadness."

"Confidence doesn't come from thinking you're perfect or flawless. That's arragonce. Confidence comes from appreciating the beauty of your texture."

"Dear Brain, sorry for overloading you. Dear Tummy, sorry for the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for the tears. Dear Heart, sorry for all the damages..."

"The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything." - Eleanor Roosevelt.

"I may not be the Brightest star in the sky but every once in a while, I do Twinkle."

nda bnyk panya yg ku post mlm ni rh FB. konon kn spam p, mcm, aku sendiri pun malas. LOL!

sigh~~ currently importing Westlife's Gravity album on to my iTunes xD~~

what should I do next?

my Quote project No.??

my Qoute project doesn't necessarily mean cuts from lyrics, right? ahaha I guess not. So, here i am, trying to recall those famous (in my head) qoutes that i've heard/read only once or twice but runs deep into my head and most importantly, my heart.

it's not like i live by it on a daily basis or make it as my living guide lines. It's just, these are the quotes that pops into my head during a certain occasion (mostly bad ones) and it helps me over come what ever fear/tear caused by whatever situation.

artists' quotes that i follow;-

Will Smith- "you gotta know" - you need to spend time reading (whatever) at least 20 mins a day, coz you gotta know.

Kian Egan- treat people how you want to be treated.

Nicky Byrne- No one is better than you and you are not better than anyone.

Bryan McFadden- Live life today, deals with tomorrow when it comes.


hmm..i swear msa ku kn buat this post, bnyk bh quotes tu lam utak ku. but, rupanya ada 4 sja. ahahahahahaha. fanatz. oh well *shrugged*... at least i made a post. xP

Here It Comes..

i decided to post this one first before the other, which, yup you've guest it, I will post on the next calender date.


My Quote Project; No. 4

“We all love to hate
and let others lead the way...

Same questions we keep asking
won’t hear the answers
Cause we're scared of what we'll find...” - Nothing to Say by Slash (feat. M Shadows of A7X)

“All of my regret
will wash away somehow
but I cannot forget
the way I feel right now” – Rob Thomas’s Little Wonders.

“Cause you’re so perfect
and no one measures up
all by yourself
you’re all messed up” - the Veronicas’ Everything I’m Not.

“They say that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I, I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave
Sometimes I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder” - the Rasmus’ In the Shadows.

“Why is this all so confusing
Complicated and consuming
Why does all this make me angry
I wanna go back to being happy” - Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus’- Don’t wana be Torn.

some may realise, that for the last few posts, it seems like most of the quotes are a lil harsh or devil-ish. no, not gona say "I'm sorry" coz I DO mean 'em. that's how am feeling at the mo.

and here's something for the newbie (you MAY know who you are..): Once ko buat jahat, go all the way. DON'T BE SORRY. klu ko sorry, jan buat jahat lain kali..araseo?! [learn it from someone yg pernah ada experience mcm ko]

can I continue my movie list here? of course I can..

i wana watch the Inception.
Leo DiCaprio. n that Page girl from Juno? trailer looks nice. mcm 2012. gravity n all. intriguing. i wana watch.

Tough Week

Emotionally, aku depress.
Mentally, aku MENTAL tahap BOGEL~
Physically, aku NGALEH!

I know it's only Monday but it feels like it's been Monday for a week.

never the mind. I wanted to post our pictures from 19th June but too lazy kn upload2 now. eheh

What am gona do, is, post Quotes Project No. 3 sja;


"I wonder what It's like to have it All...
Wish I had a bunch of Money,
Catch a plane, head out West..." - Mitchel Musso's the In Crowd.

"Why do you spend all your time
Watching life pass you by...
Hoping all your mistakes will somehow fade away.
When will you ever realize
Letting go all your lies;
All the pain will subside..." - Stacie Orrico's Hesitation.

"You had your dreams, I had mine
You had your fears, I was fine..." - Demi Lovato's Two Worlds Collide.

"You may think that I'm loser,
BUT I don't really care
You may think that it's all forgotten,
But you should be aware
Cause I've learned to get revenge
And I swear you'll experience that some day..." - Lene Marlin's Sitting Down Here.

TIRED.

yes.

I'm So Tired!.

So tired that I think giving up would've been easy.

But I don't wana give up. even if i push meself to, I couldn't.

Sigh. I know shit (like "some" people like to call it) happens and I think i juz need to be strong. Well, strong plang udah, just a LITTLE BIT MORE kali..

mna sja th..moving on~

as planned. am posting another Quotes for my "project". yg Avenged Sevennfold atu thanx to cKuching (bila jua ku minat sngt mental rock ani kn? ahahah).

So, here comes No. 2 for Quotes Project xP

“I need a moment, cause I’ve spread myself too thin
We all need a moment in our life
Works all the days too long, and that’s just where it begins
Tension has had us all this time...”- Avenged Sevenfold’s Tension

“Why don't I have the fun of things that others have?
The chance is there if you want it all that bad...”- Avenged Sevenfold’s the Fight.

“Standing out in the rain
Need to know if it's over
'cause I would leave you alone...

Maybe I should give up...”- Miley Cyrus n Nick Jonas’s Before the Storm.

p/s: My sister juz got back from KL and she bought me the Wimpy Kid book series (3 plang sja, warna Orange, Biru n Red. so the others aku kn bali soonies xP) KAMSAMIDA~!! xD n she said msa ya bagi aku tadi, "nah. Happy advance Bufday. jan minta2 lagi" ahaha oh well..taun dpn lagi ku request xP kahkahkah.. THANK YOU~!! (in case ya nda paham korean xP LoL!)...