Hello

Hi guys

I was hit with a notion to retire from blogging last weekend
well, I had been thinking about it for a while but last weekend was the strongest I felt about it.

but I thought hard on it and decided that it was mostly because:-

1. I was lazy
2. I think too much of what others would think about how my post would turn out
3. I was very demotivated by no. 1 and 2

So, i thought,
I'm giving this blog another shot.

My last few, lazy, posts were very 'upsetting' and full of anger at some point.
I duly noted my grieving towards the world
and I'm trying not to post such things anymore.

From today onwards, I'm no longer posting about my personal problems/feelings on this blog.
or I can try. .ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.

I'm trying to go back to my roots,
on why I started blogging in the first place:-
a) movie reviews
b) boybands
c) lesson learned

It might take awhile for me to get back on track but for now I have two posts line up for you in the nearest future, so look forward to that, yea?

it's not much, but I guess I have to start somewhere. v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ

to my beloved readers:
thanks so much guys for coming back to my blog even though its not been updated for weeks.
and thank you for the 'awakening'.

to my beloved silent readers:
I would appreciate if you guys could leave out a comment or two.
but if you can't, then keep coming back to my blog and help my post's 'views' get higher.
also, thank you! you guys rock!

. . .

my blog face is very not satisfying to me. I might change it again.
oh no. looking at Onew is such a satisfaction but its also a distraction.

so, sorry baby, ya gotta go.

I miss UK

and I can't post any of my pictures from that trip online anymore.

coz I was not wearing tudung or Hijab back then. ('cool' people of Brunei been calling 'tudung' hijab these days. i think it's just fake. . i will make this argument some other time) 

anyway

I thought about going back but I thought to myself,
"I've been to the UK once, why not spend money to visit other country?"
That's why I pick Japan as my next place to travel to. but that trip is not until September. So..

Last January, I bought a handmade handbag from 'Great Britain'. 
just to show how much i love the UK.


weak excuse, I know. but i really want it!

Story time;
I first saw this bag from a friend who posted it on Instagram. 
what caught me was that it had my friend's name embossed on it. I thought, "that's nice"
The next time I saw such bag was when I was at the Mall. the embossing of a name on someone's bag caught my eyes. once again i thought, "bisai jua ah"
and since then, I want it too. because I'm that Asian whose name is hardly ever on a pre-embossed name on anything and this personalize embossing thing is my thing!

After sometimes, I came across this page on instagram with same type of bags with personalize embossing thing. the company is called, The Cambridge Satchel Company.
I don't know how long I've been following them (and the agony to endure the pain of seeing their precious bags and not being able to purchase them yet!) it must've been a year or something. it was too long!

When I finally decided to buy the bag, it took me one whole week just X-ing the check out page and 'sleep on it'.

One week had passed and Thursday came and finally I bought the bag (during office hour coz I is Management. I do what I want muahahaha). I was anxious for the entire transaction. i received email indicating they have received my order and will process it within 3 days. but the next day, Friday, I received another email saying that my bag is on its way. and that I'll receive it Tuesday the next week.

by Tuesday morning, I did received a call from the local Fedex company saying my parcel had arrived and that they couldn't deliver it to my house (for whatever reason. i think coz to my house, it was not an easy access *muka confuse berabis*). Excited as I was, i told the person to just deliver it to my office.
i waited all day for it but the fedex guy never came and i was really disappointed! coz Fedex is supposed to be super fast! and the fact that I shopped at Zalora.com the previous week and already received my parcels exactly four days after that as promised, disappoint me more.

I was told, "sabar sja. maybe isuk durang antar" So, bersabar i did.

The next morning, finally the fedex guy came with my parcel and i was so happy that I couldn't even hide my grin! 


I opened it during my lunch break, in my car. taking pictures and just ... very excited.






it's actually very simple and classic looking.



the one yg I bought is actually pretty small for my standard of bags (coz I usually bought huge bags that can fit just about everything..)



but the color is nice! (i think it was called tea rose)
and it has my name on it!
at first I wanted to put 'AZ' but my sister has the same first name (yes, 'Az' is my first name. Second is 'Nuur' and third is 'Ajeerah') and I didn't want her to claim it. 


hahaha it's a joke we both had since forever. will tell you on the future blog entries (kalau ku ingat jua tu LOL)

all in all. it was an awesome feeling. like receiving a present. from me. to me.



and now,
I don't have to miss UK any more.
at least, not so much.

. . .

I would like to thank Jessica from http://blog.konapple.me/ for introducing the emojipedia to me. 
now I'm gonna use it a lot.
thanks a million, chingu!

me being a girl, ranting ...

I seriously need to polish my interviewee skill.

and I think interviewer should at least do their homework too. Like, prepare your questions? 

Just my opinion
but I believe conversation comes from both sides.
You can't expect me to just talk, can you?
It's the first time we are meeting each other. 
We both are awkward.
Since I'm the interviewee, I think I am allowed to 'speak when spoken to'.
You on the other hand should at least keep the conversation going.

Seriously, I've been interviewed by this company twice and both times been like that.

I know interviews are meant to be quote serious unquote but still.

I've been to a lot of interviews and no matter how strict the nature of the interview was at least they know what they were doing and asking of me.

I know. I'm ranting. and some of you might think, "It's not the interviewer, it's you" bla bla bla but really, as disappointed as I am with myself, I still think it could've been better on their side too.

Sigh.

Not all of us is a natural in keeping a conversation going, ok? 

moving on~

a/n: One down, three to go (if the opportunity arises)

. . .

Writers

after spending so much time on Asianfanfics.com these past years, I realized something.

real authors need real (heavily constructive) criticism.

I mean the most I see people comment about a story is about how cute this character look (when in actualness the author has not even describe their cuteness in words) or how cute the main characters were together (hmm. I guess that's the disadvantage of writing a fan fiction. coz you're using characters from the real life; Kpop artists and such).

Point is, i don't think most of us want this.

I, for one, would love a criticism on the way I laid out the story, my grammar (though i wouldn't listen much on that since English is only my second language. LOL), and you know, REAL criticism!

but I guess (again) I have to take into account that that website if full of hormonal teenagers, who was so keen into the story line alone (without really caring how the words were laid down as long as there's the name of their fav kpop artists in it) than how it was laid out etc etc.

I'm not saying I'm THAT good! gawd, no. I've got a lot to learn too.

it just frustrates me that I'm posting my story there in the hope that I would get decent, constructive, criticism that would help me improve myself in one way or another, but I got this childish review instead.

I had one good review once for one of my stories and although it stinks and i kinda don't like it in the beginning, I still appreciate it. it got me where I am today.

but since me and that person are not talking to each other anymore, I have no one else to ask harsh review from. 

sigh.

You really don't miss your water, till the well runs dry.

ANYWAY~~

I WANT CONSTRUCTIVE REVIEWS ON MY STORY! 

ANYBODY WANTS TO BE THE REVIEWER?! 

also, desperate time calls for desperate measures.


. . .

Bersyukur

Hello again. 

as promise, I'll be posting an interrelated post (from yesterday's) today.

Remember how I told you about this Master holder person?
Well, dot dot dot is actually her first job experience. and even though she's a Master holder (is this what you call this people? coz aku main hantam sja ni. LOL), has the brain to absorb all those knowledge, she is yet to apply it. 
meaning?
meaning, her theory knowledge is as good as my practical knowledge of the job.
No, don't get me wrong. Why I'm telling you all this story about her, is not to bad mouth/talk bad/mengucap about her (ok, maybe a little. since she's so over confident that she knows it all -___-. LOL) but it's becoz she made me realise something. something that had been said over and over again.

She made me realise that it's ok. it's ok that I'm lacking academically (though it would've still be nice if I have it) because, while I lack on one thing, I gain another. My Geography tutor, Mr. Fletcher once said, "you win some, you lose some". I have those words embedded in my brain to this day. Coz it's so true. I applied it on everything I do. 
In this case, I may not have a Master (yet) but for the past 5 years (and counting) I've gained so much knowledge that CAN'T be learn in books; 
1. those accounting calculations I do at the end of every month or every year end, isn't as it was shown in the book during high school/ college.
2. Customer always right? My foot.
3. to smile while answering a phone. to smile even when you really wanted to do is smack the other person's head.
4. to manage your time (eg. deadlines) coz this is not high school/college. you don't get second chances.
5. Life is tough. Remember how teachers said that it'll be easier after A Level? My foot.
6. and my communicating skill is a lot better. I got less nervous. a tat bit confident when needed. I learned not to be too shy when the occasion calls for it. 

I could list a lot more but lupa ku sudah. but those are the few things that I learned.

I learned all these things from the bottom up. 

I'm not saying I'm a better person. i'm just saying, as a worker, I'm a lot more confident, practically, then she is. and I don't have to be cocky about it. 

sigh. i'm expressing this all wrong.

I mean, she was acting all snob just becoz she got that Officer position. when in reality, she shudn't be. because that position doesn't say that you are knowledgeable of the job. you don't know the job as well as we, your seniors, do. Chill down a little. be humble. remember, you jumped steps. If you're not careful, you might fall. 

Ok, this post has gone too far from its original purpose. LOL.

What I'm trying to say is that, while others go gain knowledge academically, I gain experience working. I'm not totally losing in life (coz seeing others succeed in their academic life made me feel like I'm such a losers sometimes -___-"). I have something. Something to be proud of too.

and becoz of that, I am happy how my life turns out to be. Aku bersyukur that I've gone thru all that to get to where I am today. I just want to keep my feet firmly on the ground as Shane Filan once said. Know who you are, know where you come from.

I may not have the highest ambition among my friends but I planned on working hard for my future. It's a tat bit hard when you don't have a higher education but we'll manage, won't we?

A/N: I decided to insert a few GIFs to make this post a lil bit lively. or it would've been too dull. -___-

. . .

Remind Myself

 I found a piece of paper when I was doing my spring cleaning last two weeks. I wrote some self-motivational words on it. I don't know why I made a copy of it but I guess it was because I can relate so much to it. Even now.

So, I'm gonna share what I wrote on that piece of paper here. I hope it'll somebody too in one way or another. ;)

. . .

Life will get better; It always does.

You're a wonderful person, Just remember that you don't have to expect so much from yourself. Try pampering yourself a little more. Take more time just for you.

Try concerntrating on taking just one step and one situation at a time. Don't try to think about everything at once. Try putting your own best interest first.

Make time to take good care of yourself. you are precious and important, and you deserve peace and happiness, it will happen if you can just hang in there. - Barbara Cage.

. . .

Everybody. Modu. Semua.

I guess

We all are still learning about life.

About every aspect of it.

but why do I still feel like I learned nothing?