Appreciated

First recognition EVER!

I had been with this company for 15 years at that point and never had I ever been given an appreciation/recognition award! this was awarded to me during the Mid Year Closing.

When I heard the description of the reason I was receiving the award, my initial thought was, "it's no big deal" and realized how brainwashed I was to be thinking that. When in reality, if it was that not big of a deal, someone else should've done. So yeah. Never down play your contribution to the department my girlie, you've contributed more than enough.

The award was actually a shared award with my officer as well coz we both worked on the task together. 

So yay me! 🥳🥳🥳

I was definitely motivated to do a lot more at the time. Coz suddenly it was worth it.

I received another similar award after this one and this was awarded to me during End Year Closing.

but I forgot that one pasal apa. LOL coz I wasn't really listening but I believe it was more about me being recognized doing at least 3 people's job most of the time LOL I remember thinking "memang patut di appreciate my effort ani!" ahaha yeah I was bitter.

no this is not the picture. Apparently no picture was taken that day. and the event was done in Nov instead of Dec LOL

they're just bags but I'm torn!

hi guys!

yiss, sis is back!

I love bags! not necessarily branded ones, coz if I could find a cheaper copy of it, i would just buy. coz money don't grow on trees. unfortunately.

and recently, a friend posted on her IG Story of this bag that I find very lawa..like, the shape is soooo my style! 

BUT sadly, its by a brand that I no longer support!

argh. why

I even went on a mini discussion about the bag with said friend, all the while thinking "but I no longer support this brand". I feel ashamed when I said to her "we might have matchy bag soon!" her respond to me that made me guilty? she shared with me discount codes from some local influencers. 😖 I am sorry girlie. I lied. She was excited too. aww bless her precious heart.

I mean, I'm not saying never. I'm still sleeping on it. I mean, I have been for a week. lol. but I can't go back to my words. my sister even said the pricing is decent. for an indie brand. well, they're not really indie, but you know, not Gucci or LV. so, I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️.

My bestie on the other hand, "If you buy that bag, find new friend" LOL coz he's not supporting for a different reason from mine. 

For backstory purposes, I never was a hard core supporter before. I only ever own two items from this brand, a tudung and scarf bag. but atu pun because the brand collaborated with our Crown Princess, Princess Sarah. Honestly, if it weren't for that collab, I don't think I would ever buy anything from them, coz its just a head scarf and it cost astronomical? and when they released that collab, I just had my bonus paid out, and I thought, why not? the dumbest purchase ever to be very honest. LOL I only ever used it twice! DUA. KALI. SAHAJA. pasal apa nah? the material was so flimsy that certain areas are ruined due to the pins/clips used on it. I mean, I don't know how you gonna keep your tudung stay in place without the pins/clips. So, yeah. that tudung is now in its box. collecting dust.

Why I am not supporting this brand anymore? this one kinda, personal. She was releasing her own brand of telekung (head scarfs and skirt you use during prayer) and I don't know the full story to be honest but I saw her post on my explore page where she judge people who sell a knock off version of that telekung (apparently her brand is so popular that they got copied to a more affordable price for other people who can't afford the overprice telekung). I understand you were upset that people are technically stealing from you, butt..

She brought up dosa pahala di sana atu and you know how I feel about people who talked like its their job to collect peoples deeds. Like, I can do the same about you sis but I'm gonna keep that to myself. It really was becoz of that one post that I stop admiring her collections and ultimately stop supporting?

one time I went to her shop, dangani my cousin who wanted to buy something, back in 2018, and saw her stationery collections. I, avid fanatics' of stationery that I am, gotta have a look at them, and was surprise at how similar looking the stapler was with Typo's, an Aussie brand (I think its Aussie brand)? like, did you buy from them and slapped your brand on it? why? the price was a lot more expensive than Typo's too. why?

ANYWAY

Yeah, I am torn. I still stand by what I said about why I stop 'supporting'. but why bag so lawa and my style?! whyyy

Now, I might have to buy the other bag that I've been wanting since last year but never got the chance to purchase yet, coz price. 

Rachel Satchel, Fossil. 

this one a bit cheaper tho, Fiona Satchel.

same shape.

didn't know they the same level as Michael Kors. lol

Lol this one also I found thru a friend IG post. 

again, sooo my style! I just like this shape ok. I don't know why. I mean, I like other shape too. I don't know man, sometimes, its just that first glance love kinda thing but really this shape and style? Mine mine mine!

This friend is also sooo precious! we talked at a length about the bag and once again, I was encouraged to buy. but when I found out the price, I was like, err..maybe not now? LOL 

I mean, I could splurge but at that time I was like, "I should use this money for travelling overseas" lol

but after the above situation, I think, I'm better off buying Fossil? coz brand reputation and ranks? I'm not sure anymore.

WHY BAGS HAVE TO BE BRANDED AND EXPENSIVE?!

Ok lah. I did buy 3 known brands, MK, Longchamp, and that Anello backpack. MK's my most expensive I've ever owned and still in mean condition after 4 years? my Longchamp a little battered coz I used this bag when I travel a lot. my Anello backpack is a little new and only been used for travel once.

The rest of my bags? cheap cheap only. Ok, my Harry Potter bags are not cheap. the shipping cost alone is crazy but I'm also a crazy person for HP merchandise so..

I guess quality over quantity? and to have better quality, we gotta pay more?

This post went from 'Not supporting this brand but I want the bag' to 'but the one I wanted for so long is expensive tho' real quick. LOL

sigh.

In conclusion,

I won't go back on my words. earlier brand's bag cost BND130. If I save up some more, I'd be able to buy the Fossil's Rachel Satchels.

So, yeah..as lawa the bag is, as guilty I am towards my lovely friend, I just can't.

I mean, I could just buy and not care what other people think of my fickle conflicted decision/opinion but I wouldn't be able forgive myself for going back on my words over a BAG!

like my uda (uncle) once said, he said it in Malay but in English, it loosely translate to, "Self integrity"

Fossil Rachel Satchel, please don't discontinue, or I might die. 

. . . 

Wonderful Life

Take a look around and see the world we think we know

Then look closer

There's more to life than meets the eye

A beauty to behold

It's all much bigger than we know

It's only just beginning to unfold

So let it all unfold

Far beyond all reason in your mind

There's a world mysterious

There for you to find

All these questions

That we always have

All we are is curious

There's nothing wrong with that

So go 'round every corner

Search every part of the sky

'Cause a life that's full of wonder

Is a wonderful life

Dig beneath the surface

Find the lessons there to learn

And then dig deeper

Feed your intuition

Don't leave any stone unturned

Be the seeker of the truth

Listen when you hear it calling you

You know it's calling you

Far beyond all reason in your mind

There's a world mysterious

There for you to find

All these questions that we always have

All we are is curious

There's nothing wrong with that

So go 'round every corner

Search every part of the sky

'Cause a life that's full of wonder

Is a wonderful life

Is a wonderful life

Is a wonderful life

Is a wonderful life

And the answers aren't that far away

Look closer

Look closer

Look closer

Look closer

From: Smallfoot

Sang by: Zendaya

Misconception of Me

composed 02 Sep 2018. 4:13pm
Finished composing: 7:21pm
Start editing: 7:21pm
Done: 8:01pm
re-edit: 9:08pm

This was supposed to be made on 1st Sep but as always, when composing something in anger, I usually will not post them right away. 
for someone with extreme temper like myself, I know very well that nothing came out good when you do things out of anger.

I composed the original on my phone on 31st Aug.
I might still not post this up yet.

Why not, you might ask?
becoz I'm not sure what I wanted to tell.
the truth?
the glossed-over truth?
the vague truth?

I just hope when I finally decided to post this up, it's not gonna end up a very messy essay. LOL

Anyway,
I try putting my "Misconception" in point form. let's see how things go from there.

but before we continue, a few notes;

NOTE 1: THIS IS A LONG ASS RIDE. So, if you don't feel like reading to the end, LEAVE.

NOTE 2: make your judgement ONLY AFTER YOU READ TILL THE END.

NOTE 3: Vulgar language is used. maybe.

1. I am not rich.

I don't know why this is on top my head when I started the list.
But I feel like this is the biggest Misconception of Me of all.
coz for some reason people thought I have an overflowing supply of cash (Aminn Ya Rabb!)
Anything I have, anything I bought (both planned and impulsively), I earned them.
Yes, I may ended up "broke" becoz of it, but I still earned it.
Like what my sister told me just recently; "Bukan inda mampu, inda mau" I cannot translate that into English at this moment.
There's this famous malay saying; "Di mana ada kemahuan, di situ ada jalan" and another, "Nak hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih".
I'm not saying I live by these sayings but I applied this to anything involving money.
So, don't come to me and said, "easy for you to say, ko kaya ah" (Ya Allah, Aminn aku kaya) but no.
Aku mampu untuk benda yang aku mahu sahaja.

2. My temper.

Yes, I know, I have bad temper.
it's becoming a huge 'issue' at work.
it's 'affecting' my work.
◔_◔
one: it doesn't.
two: marah ku bukan tanpa sebab.
and it is especially an issue when I'm quiet.
three: I know I'm ugly when I'm angry, so I prefer to stay quiet.
four: or would you prefer I lash out with angry words?
another issue that came to my attention is that, people thought they cannot point out MY mistake to me. becoz, according to them, I got pissed.
щ(ಠ益ಠщ)
five: when you talk shit behind my back or make snide comments that you thought I did not hear, at those times, were you thinking of my feelings?
six: so, I don't understand why you care if I get angry when you try pointing out my mistake to me.
You once said that pointing out mistake is to teach us. So, teach me. So what if I got pissed?! you don't care about my feelings any other time. so why care how I feel when you tell me I make a mistake? or in malay, takut kan bagitau aku, yang aku buat salah?
seven: you shouldn't be scared. Ko lurus. Aku salah. it's that simple. Fuck my temper if you truly want me to learn and better myself.
Why then, I'm pissed when my mistake is being pointed out to me?
It's the way you pointed them out to me.
Eight: you pointed them out in front of everybody as a lesson.
Nine: When you worried about my anger, you straight up not tell me about my mistake and let others handle it. One reason I heard of why people do this is: Menjaga hati ku. Taking care of my feelings? Really? Doesn't that make me, I don't know, blur? How can I know I make a mistake when I'm not being told I make a mistake? You think I make mistake on purpose, is it?
Mistake is a mistake. It happened and I wouldn't know I make them until someone tell me that I make them.
and here's number ten: and then you made it seems like I'm too sensitive?
eleven: and you have the audacity to call me "defensive" ?
twelve: YOU GUYS STILL WONDER WHY I'M FUCKING ANGRY?!

3. My retaliation

in case you don't what it means:

as mentioned, I prefer to stay 'diam' when I'm mad/pissed/angry.
and I can already hear you readers thinking "lurus bah, cAz ani yg sensitive, inda dapat ketaguran".
True. maybe I am.
but read this next line properly.
Every body has a different way of handling a situation.
My way just happened to be: Marah dalam diam.
Why? because you love to point out my mistake in a meeting.
Wanna know how I feel about that? Humiliated.
and wanna know how I deal with that? Marah dalam diam.

Ok, you may say that it's all in my head, too sensitive to "teguran".
but wouldn't you be?
Other people buat mistake but they are being "console" in private.

Why I'm being "console" in a meeting?

Of course I retaliate. in Silent.
coz I know my silent kills them softly inside. MUAHAHAHAH 

and I'm the bad person for reacting that way to them after what they did to me?

I'm giving back what you have given me and you still say I'm the bad person here?

Really?

4. Self-reflect

with all my anger and retaliation mentioned,
here comes my self-reflect.
I maybe angry becoz of the way you convey your message to me
but
as I let my thoughts run, I always go back to being that "snapped out of it" person and accepted my faults.
this part of this post isn't trying to show or to tell you that I'm good.
but to show you that Anger is not my core. it's not my whole entire being.
Anger is a feeling I have, arises by the situation that I'm in.
(Kindly watch Disney's Inside Out to understand that kind of shit)
anyway,
as I was saying,
After I let my thoughts run its course, I usually let go of my anger (towards people) and accepted that I made the mistake.
because that's the truth, I made a mistake.
by accepting that, I can now focus on improving myself from making that same mistake again
that is all.

5. My conscience.

or should I say My GUILT Conscience.

here's the meaning if you don't know:

Every time I do something bad or did a mean clapback, I always feel guilty about it afterwards.
I would want to apologize and I probably should~
but my ego said, "No, they deserve it. Sampai bila kan diam saja when they suka hati buat cematu? Ingat robot? Ingat nada perasaan? I am human"
and I believe that my ego is right.
Sometimes my guilt will eat my insides for days
but my ego.
my ego.
I refused to apologize when I finally made a clapback to the people who did me wrong for so many times before.
I will stand my ground and say you deserve what you've got.
and again, when this happened, I will be seen as the bad person. but read point no. 3 for another cycle of why I'm giving you back what you asked for.

6. My Ground. or Aku ada pendirian.

This point kinda the very reason that triggers me to make this post.

I found out very recently that I'm being dubbed as a bad influence to a certain human being.

*tarik nafas panjang2 and release. and remain fucking calm for this*

I have two of my mom's advices that I wana share here;
a. "Jangan luan pemarah~ nada urang suka~"
b. "You have a choice"
I should have put advice (a) in point no. 2 LOL!
but advice (b) is on another level; it was not said to me in English, nor was it said to me in Malay in that way.
Story time!
Not really.
When I was young, whenever I did something wrong and at that time was with a cousin or a friend, my mom would head on scolded me and me alone. I don't remember the exact scolding but what I take from it (and to this day) is, "you have a choice". If someone tag you along to do something and you know you shouldn't be doing them, but still do it anyway becoz someone told you to, then, to my mom, you are to blame. 
because 
You have a choice.
End of Story.
sorta.

back to the present.
I was told that I'm a bad influence to someone. 
let's give this someone a name, Joy.

Hmmm..
how should I put this? I can't just put out a story half way. you might agree that I AM a bad influence.
I also can't put out the entire work story coz I will be damned.
but wait, didn't I already do that in point no.2? ┏(＾0＾)┛┗(＾0＾) ┓
hmmmm..
to be honest, at this point, I'm so tired. Mentally tired. coz malas ku kan pikir lagi. but I promised I posted something yesterday and now it's the day after. I need to commit to this. and walk my talk.

Let's not go back too long in the past and let's keep the circle within my unit.
but I've been quite the loner for years.
coz I'm the type yang wouldn't even try and be "friendly" with people yang I know talk shit behind my back.
and for so long too, I have set my mind into keeping the "relationship" strictly business.
coz if I don't keep it strictly business, I will make it personal and no one wants that. 
So, 
Joy used to be a duo but now they fall out.
They used to be the super duo who love to talk shit behind my back.
After the fall out, Joy started hanging out with me and other friends from a another unit after work; like, watch movies and eat out.
and I should mentioned that in at least half of these outing, Joy had been telling me about her struggle; emotionally and mentally. Of course, aku kesian. I've been there too. So, I listened.
I also gave her work advice; "jangan tah ingau apa ya buat atu. Keraja tetap keraja. We still need to communicate with one another. yg penting keraja siap".

but some people see this 'blossoming friendship' differently.

You see, Joy used to be this cheerful person and talkative.
but after the fall out, she kept to herself. 
So instead of seeing her 'professionalism' for not mixing personal emotions with work, she was dubbed as sensitive and defensive, and temper-mental.
Sounds familiar?
She was even told straight out that she was acting like me.
◔_◔
which to me, is basically saying, I'm a bad influence to Joy.
like
╭∩╮（︶︿︶）╭∩╮

a. she's always had a temper. even from the moment she joined us. and you know that.
b. PLEASE TAKE NOTE! SHE KEPT TO HERSELF EVEN BEFORE SHE STARTED TO HANG OUT WITH ME AGAIN!
c. if ia yg terikut-ikutan aku, that's not my problem.

you know why it's not my problem? coz
d. I didn't go out of my way to 'recruit' her
e. make her sensitive, defensive, and temper-mental.
f. She comes to me, ok?
AND
My advice is clear; don't worry about personal things during working hours. Focus on your work. If other people continue to act like crap, then let them. there's only 8 hours of working. it doesn't really matter. it's just a day's work.
If Joy chose to follow my "bad" behavior instead of the good one, that is not my problem.
because she has a choice.

wanna know why this point is titled My Ground?
becoz I know where I stand.
and I will fight for what is right. you can say whatever you want about me but the Truth Will Out.
I know when people don't like me and I'm not gonna go around trying my hardest to convince them to like me.
I don't let other people to manipulate my mind. Cukup tah people manipulate my words. I don't need them to mess with my mind too. 


and my advice to Joy would be to find her own ground and stand firm.

7. I have a life.

I have a life outside of work.
I have a life when I'm not with you.
I have a life.
So don't you ever think that I can't live without you.
Work is work.
Life after work, is life after work.
You wanna continue to make me feel like crap during working hours? Dipersilakan.
Just know, the moment I clock out, I have another life to think about.

8. Victim.

this is a short one.
When people acted shit towards me and I happened to get back at them, they acted like they're the victim.
When in reality, they initiate the attacks and I only retaliate.
I was never a rebel without a cause, ok? Put that inside your head.
If you feel like I'm angry with you or acted mean to you, ask yourself, what have you said and what did you do that make me this way.
Stop playing victims.
If you don't know if you can handle the consequences that comes when you create a situation, don't start.

In conclusion:

I understand most of the things that had happened is because of how I reacted to them.
I could be gracious in handling them too.
but yatah tu..
I'm temper-mental.
and too sensitive.
In my defense, I acted accordingly.

(~￣▽￣)~


this doesn't just apply to work-life situation. it also apply to real life situation. 
Yes, I have two life; Work-life and Real-Life. Work-life isn't real. You put up a front to deal with that place and when you clock out, you're real life begins.

Ok, ok. working is real, of course. it pays the bill. 

but what I meant by that is,
"If you fall in your life, neither your boss nor clients will offer you a helping hand; your family and friends will" - Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.
or in my words, anything happened outside of work, neither your boss nor colleagues care; my family and friends saja yang care.

. . . .

Thank you so much if you come this far. I told you its a long ass ride.
I really appreciate your time.
Just don't judge me too harshly after this. (∪ ◡ ∪)
There's always two sides of the story and this is mine.

. . .

My Sassy Girl

Hello happy people

I know, gone again this girl.

hahahaha

ah well..here I am :P

Last night, I started something new as I'm trying to reset myself as previously wished.

and I came up with this To Do List I need to follow every night after work.

I start with something small saja lah. at least 3 task to achieve per night. I don't want to feel overwhelm.

The task includes; laundry, cooking, eating, reading, write down stuff, type stuff up, etc.

Tonight's task is: 

• 1. Jot down plots for story (Checked), 
• 2. Finish reading a chapter in More Than This (read 7 chapters! CHECKED)
• 3. Update blog (currently doing. will 'checked' when this is posted).

I also started watching My Sassy Girl, the Korean Historical Drama version.

I forgot I actually have that in my hard disk. LOL

Currently on Episode 17.

what's nice about this drama is that each episode is only 30 mins long. meaning, its easier to stop myself from continuing to watch after finishing an episode.

another thing that's awesome about this is becoz, I recognize (by face, not name) many actors/actresses; the main character guy is from The Good Doctor, the main character lady is that final Queen in Dong Yi, the King is from The Horse Doctor, the main character's mom is from The Moon Embraces the Sun.
to name a few.

LOL

seriously, I suck at trying to remember their names. all I know is I've seen them somewhere either in real time drama or historical drama. wawawa *shrug*

anyway,

that is all the update I have for you in this post.

pray that I will follow thru my To Do List *hwaiting*

with that said, I will see you on my next post



ciao~

. . .

Pointing Finger

I just had these thoughts lately and I think its important

I remember in one of my Team Building workshop, the facilitator mentioned about 'Pointing Finger'.

What I understood at that time was he was talking about blaming others but yourself.

He showed us this gesture

You see, when you point at someone, one finger is pointing to them, while three fingers are pointing at yourself.

In other words,

don't be easy to point faults in others. you might be at fault too.

Just something I've been thinking a lot.

and stop thinking that this post is dedicated to someone. 
I'm only posting this to reflect upon myself.

or am I?

LOL

but really, I've been so angry with a lot of people right now, and I think it's becoming a problem with me. mentally and physically.

it's not good.

and that 'pointing finger' thing pops up in my head.

it calms me down, little by little.

When you realized that you are not that perfect too, this 'gelora di jiwa' is not so worth it. 

coz there's just no point on getting work up over everything.

and that's all I'm gonna say, 

I have a lot on my plate right now, I can't be bother taking care of everybody else.

. . .

Thought of the day

Maturity isn't claimed.

Maturity is not something you declared yourself to be.

Its just not what you think it is.

Even these quotes are not all it.

Maturity is just.

#self-reflect

or is it?

muahahaha

. . .

a/n: I know there are certain things where you can claim yourself to be, but claiming to be mature while condemning someone childish, is not it.

one of these days

Seriously, 
I need to get a grip.
of my tongue.
Coz one of these days, I might slip something nasty out.
Nasty words.
I know I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't even consider this.
OR even think about this.

Poor poor soul. they didn't even know that they're doing it. they must've thought we are all open-minded bastards.

I claimed myself the most open-minded one but I guess this little thing, I can't tolerate. or more correctly, I am trying but fail. I just can't. I can't open my mind to it. I can't.

Good thing I never claimed to be perfect. 
That would've contradict everything. 
phew~

hahaha 

I know, this post is like, blank.

if this feelings went on, I might have to say it out loud to my sister. She's my walking diary after all. Diari bergerak.
hahaha ha ha

Point is, I'm just worrying over what if one of these days I might burst and hurt people with my choice of words? What if?

Did you know physical wounds are easier to mend/heal than mental/feelings wounds?

I'm sure you do.

I know exactly how that feels and I don't want others to feel that too. 

not when I can help it.

sigh~

Tough shit

. . .

was I harsh?

Hey there.
yeah, it's me again.

Today, I've decided to put my plan into action; Removing photos of me from FB. esp the ones yg I'm not wearing tudung.

I even asked my closest of friends to do it on their accounts too. I mean, I can't remove them pictures if I'm not the one who uploaded them.

Of course, most people are supportive and reacted instantly. while, others, nyeh.

I think I hurt someone today and I can't even explain to them 'why'.

I mean, I can. but I don't know eh.

when I said 'esp the ones yg aku inda betudung', does that not make sense? can't you figure out why I want them remove? It's nothing to do with you or against you, it's about me. and tani sama2 Islam, inda kan inda teklik? especially when you treat FB like your everyday newspaper. Inda kan inda membaca post2 urg pasal agama atu?

Sigh. it upsets me that people thought I just want those pictures remove because I don't treasure the memories. 
WHAT. ARE. YOU. TALKING. ABOUT.
OF COURSE I DO!

but it's not how much affection you show me on FB that counts! it's how much you show me outside of FB. 

I've said it once and I'm going to say this again, FB tu tempat mengambang saja tu.

and that's why I want them pictures of me not wearing tudung removed.

I know it's a lot of work and a lot of hassle but believe me, this will benefit all of us. 

So, once again, THANK YOU GUYS FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE! I LOVE YOU! and sorry if I made you do some mini scavenger hunting today. kekeke I really appreciate this! A LOT!

. . .

Self-reflect

If you have time fiddling with your phone when you think you're busy,

YOU. ARE. NOT. BUSY.

Because BUSY is when you can't even glance at your phone knowing that if you do, you'd never get anything done.

So, read the first two sentences and make it your mantra.

. . .

Bersyukur

Hello again. 

as promise, I'll be posting an interrelated post (from yesterday's) today.

Remember how I told you about this Master holder person?
Well, dot dot dot is actually her first job experience. and even though she's a Master holder (is this what you call this people? coz aku main hantam sja ni. LOL), has the brain to absorb all those knowledge, she is yet to apply it. 
meaning?
meaning, her theory knowledge is as good as my practical knowledge of the job.
No, don't get me wrong. Why I'm telling you all this story about her, is not to bad mouth/talk bad/mengucap about her (ok, maybe a little. since she's so over confident that she knows it all -___-. LOL) but it's becoz she made me realise something. something that had been said over and over again.

She made me realise that it's ok. it's ok that I'm lacking academically (though it would've still be nice if I have it) because, while I lack on one thing, I gain another. My Geography tutor, Mr. Fletcher once said, "you win some, you lose some". I have those words embedded in my brain to this day. Coz it's so true. I applied it on everything I do. 
In this case, I may not have a Master (yet) but for the past 5 years (and counting) I've gained so much knowledge that CAN'T be learn in books; 
1. those accounting calculations I do at the end of every month or every year end, isn't as it was shown in the book during high school/ college.
2. Customer always right? My foot.
3. to smile while answering a phone. to smile even when you really wanted to do is smack the other person's head.
4. to manage your time (eg. deadlines) coz this is not high school/college. you don't get second chances.
5. Life is tough. Remember how teachers said that it'll be easier after A Level? My foot.
6. and my communicating skill is a lot better. I got less nervous. a tat bit confident when needed. I learned not to be too shy when the occasion calls for it. 

I could list a lot more but lupa ku sudah. but those are the few things that I learned.

I learned all these things from the bottom up. 

I'm not saying I'm a better person. i'm just saying, as a worker, I'm a lot more confident, practically, then she is. and I don't have to be cocky about it. 

sigh. i'm expressing this all wrong.

I mean, she was acting all snob just becoz she got that Officer position. when in reality, she shudn't be. because that position doesn't say that you are knowledgeable of the job. you don't know the job as well as we, your seniors, do. Chill down a little. be humble. remember, you jumped steps. If you're not careful, you might fall. 

Ok, this post has gone too far from its original purpose. LOL.

What I'm trying to say is that, while others go gain knowledge academically, I gain experience working. I'm not totally losing in life (coz seeing others succeed in their academic life made me feel like I'm such a losers sometimes -___-"). I have something. Something to be proud of too.

and becoz of that, I am happy how my life turns out to be. Aku bersyukur that I've gone thru all that to get to where I am today. I just want to keep my feet firmly on the ground as Shane Filan once said. Know who you are, know where you come from.

I may not have the highest ambition among my friends but I planned on working hard for my future. It's a tat bit hard when you don't have a higher education but we'll manage, won't we?

A/N: I decided to insert a few GIFs to make this post a lil bit lively. or it would've been too dull. -___-

. . .