Failing isn't forever

So, I failed again and was very sad about it.

I thought I've tried my best but I guess my best isn't good enough.

My sister said, 'Redha'. and I just nodded. 

I was said for a few hours on Saturday and indulged myself with food from Mr. Baker. 

It was supposed to be a celebration food but oh well...

Now that I've been given a clearer picture of what I should do next, I'm going to, as the Robinson said, 'Keep Moving Forward'. I'm still trying to consult myself to not look back even though its a tat bit hard to do.

I guess, as long as I'm not still here, right?

a/n: listening to Westlife - Try Again.

He shouldn't have

went on a movie 'outing' with a colleague last couple of weeks. Lelaki. and just us two.

at first, I thought, nyeh normal outing, mcm sama cZawir.

but as soon as we met at the agreed meeting place, boy was I wrong.

ok, maybe I am reading too much into this but there were serious 'hitting on' that night. I wont go into details but it was so creepy and embarrassing to say the least.

If he agreed that that night was just a normal 'colleague' movie outing, he shouldn't;

• Suggested to me that I should wear a shortlegged coverall with knee-high socks when I was wearing a longsleeve tshirt and bertudung. Excuse me? were you embarass about my appearance? I said I wouldn't read too much into it but it is still offensive.
• He also shouldn't have suggested how I can cover up before going out of the house and changed once outside. Because, I may not be that close with my mom but we have an unspeakable trust between us. and i have never deceived her that way.
• Let me carry the tray of food from the counter to our seats. I know. to some, maybe this is nothing. but to me, it's THAT big of a deal.
• Hide the fact that he was not officially broken off his engagement. (I know he was engaged. I heard rumors that he wasn't anymore and before the movie outing, I asked him 'tunang mu ok inda?' to which he shook his head and I didnt press on becoz I don't want to seem insensitive about the subject. You know, mana tau ia broken hearted kh, bru di putusnya tunang kh. but stupid me! I should've known better. 'Org Gila' said the same thing, didn't he? and he didn't actually broke it off, did he? JUST. STUPID.) and had me guarded the whole night. scared that I would be a victim of 'kana tampar mengajut' and called 'perampas tunang orang' or something. I was mostly embarass about this part. more embarrass than when I was carrying the tray. ARGH! MEN ARE SO STUPID!
• have treated me like I was that easy. coz, I would've kick your sorry ass, if you thought that your sap story about your relationship would make me all sorry and all over you. 
• have make me feel so stupid about myself. Coz, I am not stupid.

But most of all, I shouldn't have agreed to go out with him in the first place. 

I'm not gona again. especially when he kept on bragging about how he didn't approach the girl and it was her who approach him. and that I was offering him to watch the movie instead of the other way round. I reminded him, of course, that it was his idea, not mine. 

ARGH! what. a. duche!

thank you man, for making me feel so stupid.

this should be a reminder to all that, don't be like me. Ok? I trust people too easy despite me being guarded and all. just do what Professor Moody told us to do, "Constant Vigilant!"
 
why can't genuinely good man ever happened to me??

. . .

Everybody. Modu. Semua.

I guess

We all are still learning about life.

About every aspect of it.

but why do I still feel like I learned nothing?

these past few days

you know, I know this is just temporary

but I'm gona post it anyway.

them people annoyed the hell outta me.

So, i've been saying this alot.





like,

A LOT.

I think memang patut lah aku rasa cemani mun cematu cara durang.



. . .

unpleasant experience

my itunes gone mental.

-___-

one moment it was fine then suddenly everything is gone!

virgin tarus bah usulnya..ahahah kes mental dah ni..

i kept reuploading songs and mvs into it.

i dun mind redownloading songs and such but it's still an unpleasant experience.

ngaleh nyamu..

i hope after today, everything will go back to normal.

and goodbye to my previous top 25 played songs. my Ring Ding Dong. :'(


sedih..but what to do? i think it is time for changes.

p/s: changes are good.

. . .