October is here

hi lovely people!

if you think that this post was made in a rush, it was.

LOL.

I was being lazy and I thought, lets do another scrapbook style theme. since aku banyak paper lawa. I'm not saying doing scrapbook style is lazy, I'm just saying I am lazy.

Here it is:

I didn't even manage to do my Data Tracker yet. LOL literally done these two last night.

I tried to video my progress but I stopped half way coz my camera batt died, and ended up just finishing the deco without filming. Maybe I'll just continue filming my Data Tracker.

Sebenarnya, I wanted to do different theme, yg macam potion2. since, for some reason, October ani kana associate with witches. 

Example:

Pretty kan?

I should have pursue them but I was lazy and still am lazy. I just want an easy way out.

TAPI

seeing as this book / journal I am using is almost finish, maybe I'll redo the theme in the new one. maybe. no pressure tho.

😬

into the final quarter of 2020, how are we feeling thus far?

. . .

Book Read AugSepOct 2019

hi Guys...
10:45pm now and I should've done this at 9ish tadi but..are we even surprise at this point? 🤷

So, book read update!

I finally finished my mini Harry Potter marathon.
Started in Aug with the Philosopher's Stone
and
Finished last Monday 21st Oct with the Deathly Hallows.

Two books took longer to finish. Partly becoz I was lazy and another, becoz, I preferred sleep over trying to reach my own personal goals.  😂 

For weeks, I've been having very little sleep becoz of my will to finish reading all the seven books (there were other paranormal factors too but that's a story for another post. maybe) so the moment I finished book seven, I was like, "I can sleep now". i'm even feel super sleepy now. that maybe due to my age factor tho.

So, next!

I'm going to reread the Twilight saga!

the smallest black cover is the first Twilight book i bought, I signed 2014 when i finished reading it and that probably when the first movie came out. maybe. 
the biggest black cover (the 10th anniversary I think), I believe i bought in 2018? maybe? if not pun 2017. i bought it but have not read passed first chapter of the 'reverse' version.
the same height of black and white covers were also bought either 2017 or 2018. these three langsung alum pernah baca. Last time I read from ebooks. I bought them becoz its an anniversary edition (the whites) and I wanted a physically copy of my own. for memory sake. 😉

I made this same 'Book Read' box in  my journal.

I'm not gonna set any strict goals this time around. all I want is to read the three physical copies that I have. maybe If aku rajin, I will try and read the Twilight 'reverse' version again. we'll see.

Just in time for Halloween too!

but i doubt I can finish all 4 before 31st Oct. like I said, no pressure.

Ok, that is all for now.

Question: what is the one book or book series you don't mind going back to read over and over again? share you answer in the comment box below.

. . .

Updates!!

Hi guys,

Yes, I have been gone! 
I don't know if I am back coz I said that last time and I went back to being gone.
So.. 🤷

Life updates!
Obviously I'm still very active in real life (or I wouldn't be doing this post now 😜)



First update!
I turned 32 on 10th Sep. 

and I got myself a new car. 

"Wahhh so fancy~" I can already here you guys.
No. 
One, it's a loan. Two, I have a project for buying a new car (i'll update on this nanti 😉). and
Three, buying a new car is actually a long-time-coming thing. I wanted to 'buy' one back in July 2019 but becoz purchasing a car is a long time commitment (in Brunei, as far as I know, it's a loan for 7 years), I have to give a thorough consideration; will I be able to commit myself to it? how will my budget be once I have it? is it sustainable? that kind of considerations.
Some smart-ass will be thinking, "tapi ko single, apa yang kan ko ingau kn?" (but you're single, what are you worrying for?) Well, to that, I say, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!



which bring us to the next update; my thoughts on being Single and Worry-less.

For a long time, I've been hearing this "You're still single, no commitment" or "wait until you have family, lagi banyak kan dipikirkan" or "eh single, tapi stress"
💆
Ya Allah, give me the patience to remain classy in responding to this ricecooker!

For the longest time as well, I succumbed to feeling that yes, they were right. I'm single. I shouldn't be like this or I shouldn't feel like this. I should be carefree.
until..I come to my senses and brace!
Every one of us, every EACH of us live differently. I have the rights to worry just as much as the next person!
Sapa cakap aku single aku inda buleh stress?! who said that? who set that standard?!
My stress, my worry, or even my my-head-is-so-full-i-can't-brain-anymore, has nothing to do with me being single.
I don't understand how other people associate stress/worry/deep-thoughts with marital status.
THE FUCK WITH THAT SHIT!
Yes, aku single. but do you know, and I am speaking from my own experience here, that I have more commitment and responsibilities than that of a married couple?

Here's a chart to explain:

Ok, right. this chart only talk about MONEY and we all know money is not everything (everything else needs money tho 🤔)
BUT
trust me, when you don't have much, it becomes a struggle. AND I'm not saying I don't have enough. I have enough, ya Allah, alhamdulillah. 
BUT again.
My stress was never solely becoz how much money I don't have.
hmm how can I explain this better?
I'm not by any means "struggling" but imagine, you just have enough to get by and add that up with your environment; at home, at work, or even school! add those stress up, just try and add them up, and tell me ko inda stress? 😕
Sedangkan, from where I sit, listening to your worry about money WHEN I KNOW you have so much more than me, just add work-load, sudah tah ko jadi a banshee.
So, please, imagine, aku single ani, managing home and personal finance on my own, dengan workplace yg very testing, ko rasa, aku will remain, stress-free? I don't have the emotional range of a teaspoon like Ron.

WHO SET THE STANDARD THAT EMOTIONS ARE ASSOCIATED TO YOUR MARITAL STATUS?!

On the contrary, pasal aku single ani tah membuatkan aku kana bagi so much responsibilities. becoz people thought I have NO commitment and they forgotten they have already given me so much before they add up a new one. like, hello? I'm drowning here.

Someone just said to me, "in other words, your the breadwinner" and only then I realized, "yeah, I am the breadwinner" becoz, portions of my money goes to the house and other expenses while other people's money goes to themselves. Like, damn.

Anyway, whatever, sis redha. sis moving on now.

Onward! to the final updates for this post; Depression.

We (when I said we, I meant the kpop world) were shocked once again with the news of dead by suicide.
Sulli, ex-member of f(x), artist under SM, died on 14th Oct by suicide and it was strongly due to the non-stop malicious comment towards her. 
For once, I was numb. becoz she was my least fav in f(x) and I had one post being so mean about her, and I was very upset with that but I can't erase what I have done and for that action, I am sorry, Sulli.
Even though I mentioned in this blog many times before that we will never know what's really going on within that company and what's really going on among themselves, I should have kept my frustration to myself or in my personal diary where only my eyes can see. I should have kept that comment offline. I am truly and deeply sorry, Sulli. my opinions are not your responsibility.
You don't deserve the hate. 
Yes, I only posted one heat post on her but that could be the one heat comment that triggers her. 
I feel responsible.

Currently, in the kpop world, they are petitioning the Sulli Act, an act to punish malicious comment towards celebrities, which they are tying to push for their something election in December 2019. I pray the bill will pass.
People were quick to mention our Jonghyun during this sad times but I am fine. 
After a few minutes updating myself with the news, I decided for myself that, it was better for me to not read so much into it anymore becoz, reading blames upon blames towards SM, towards her EX, towards the anti, won't bring her back. Damage is done. Only thing to do now, is to be a better person from now onward.

Depression is still a taboo topic in this part of the world. 
I have my fair share on that. which I decide from now onward, to never disclose to anyone anymore.
Nobody really care.

So, what do we learn from this post?

1. turning 32 doesn't stop you from starting over with your life.
2. Single people has worries. You, non-single, family person, have worries but at least you have your spouse to share them with. And if you FREAKIN rich heir, you don't have the rights WHATSOEVER to tell me I can't worry about shit. Go sit down, Gemma.
3. Mean comments are mean no matter how well you can justify it. I'm gonna try and not do that anymore. 
4. it's not hard to be kind.
5. I am a strong person.
6. Japan trip 2020 will be my motivation to stay sane. ...LOL!

Ok,

bye.

. . . 

Snickering

Hi Guys.

I know, I'm getting terrible at this.

I'm currently not very passionate with blogging.

I've been writing a lot more though, so I guess that offset things. *shrug*

I just come back from a weekend getaway with my cousin too. I should post something about that but, nyeh..

I don't know. I'm not inspired enough. (▰˘◡˘▰)

The reason why I'm posting tonight is because I don't want my blog to be automatically deactivated for being not active LOL

I mean, yeah, I'm not feeling it anymore, but I still want to comeback to it when I feel like I want to comeback to it, some day.

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

Ok,

you might want to just follow me on IG, I'm a little more active there. 

Until the next post,

Ciao~

. . .

SHINee's back!!

a detour post.

. . .

I know I need to continue my day 2 in Japan but this is important!

SHINee's BACK!!!

next week.

and their theme for this comeback is 90s


a comment on IG said something around the line of "No wonder the teasers took ages to load. They were using Internet Explorer" LOL #savageShawol




THIS ENTIRE 5JIB WILL BE MY JAM!

because I was brought up with the 90s musics.



there were clips/teasers of 5 of their new songs posted on their Official IG account. YES! O.F.F.I.C.I.A.L. A.C.C.O.U.N.T.



and from these teasers, I'm already in love with them songs! like, BRING IT ON!

they even have a cassette tape version!



(I also preOrdered this one) MAN WAS I GLAD I STILL HAVE MY WALKMAN! I don't know if they would work properly BUT THANK GOD I HAVE IT!

and from all the article, that cassette tape version was already pre-order-sold-out on the 27th Sep. like, my supplier better not be telling me on release day that they didn't manage to book before the 27th. coz I WILL SUE THEM AND SM!

hahaha
emosi~

ok, lets calm down and think about posting my Day 2 of Japan Trip instead.



. . .

A/N: not even sorry for all the caps. hahahahaha fyi, please consider this post as my motivation to post about my Japan Trip Day 2.0



isn't he Gojusssss??

Happy Belated Birthday

this special post is dedicated to the pretty Jess

Sorry that it is belated but here you go;

Happy Belated Birthday Jessica.
I know from your post you had a blast!

Here's to many more years to come 

. . .

Out of boredom

and laziness.

I went shopping yesterday for new Silver marker (coz the one I had was faulty), and as always, I ended up buying more than just a Silver marker.
I bought these too.

I bought the green ones back when I was doing the August Doodle Challenge (but never actually use it for the challenge).
and now I wonder what I should be doing with them. I still have plenty of kiddies marker pens to choose from, not to mention my Sharpies too.

So what I did today was to color my Ariel. 

I printed the 'coloring' image from the internet (found it on Goodle search).

I know, very sloppy. LOL. well, I'm no professional.

I don't know where this 'coloring' craze came from.
maybe it's from what I've been seeing on IG's explores page; people been posting colored pages from that famous coloring book. I don't know where it originally came from but I know I first saw the thing from Key's IG post few months back. and the written letters were in Korean.

Now, I saw these coloring books at our local bookstore too. Only it's in English. Although I considered it cheap, I haven't got around to buy them. I'm scared that this phase I'm in is only temporary. besides, I am such a lazy person that even if I thought of it, I usually ended up not doing it. LOL

anyway,
i thought I'd share this recent thoughts here;
I once saw someone posted a collection of their sketch books and I thought, "I wish I could draw too" and proceeded into thinking of buying a sketch book for myself.
But yesterday, as I was buying the markers and looking thru some small sketch book to buy, I realized, I am no artist (not the one that draws anyways) and decided to stop the frenzy of buying art supply and such.
On my way home, I kept thinking (and realizing) that I already have a collection of books/journals. they may not be as awesome as the one that those artists have; with their anime like drawings, majestic colors, etc. but my diaries/journals are all and filled to the brim with writings.
I think it's awesome that I actually have diaries/journals collection. 
How many people have such collections? I mean a collection of something you yourself create? I'm guessing not so many.
I remember writing or typing the saying of Anne Frank's, "I may not know how to draw but at least I can write".
So, as I sat here this afternoon, wondering (still) about what to draw, I decided to just let go of that ambition and just settled with coloring instead. I colored so well. LOL

all I'm saying is that, I'm glad that I have this sense of trying to draw. In another word, I'm trying to find myself again thru this. "Try and Error," as one of my fellow Team Building buddy once said. 
It's never too late. the good thing about it is that, at this age, you become less stressful over your error and learn quickly to move forward onto another thing.
it may look like I was giving up but lets face it, drawing doesn't just happened over night (as do success), they took a lot of years to perfect.
Just like writing. I don't just write like this out of no where. It took me my entire high school life to find the confidence to even write this long for your viewing. even when you don't read it! 

I guess, from my point of view, people only ever interested in my art when I have a lot of pictures posted together with any of my lengthy post. So that's what I did all these years with my posts. To keep people interested, I either posted something short with one picture or if I decided on something lengthy, I make sure I have some pictures attached in it before posting.
It gets a little frustrating sometimes trying to figure out what makes people happy with my posts.
BUT
that always short-lived and I ended up posting whatever I want.
xD

. . .

Onew has a sexy back.

No hate.
. . .

something New

Hello fellow readers.
Hows your October so far?
Mine? Ok lah. I realised aku bnyk hibernating, esp on weekends. 
Except today; ada two functions that i went to since 11am. Hashtag Tired

anyhoo.. on Friday, I was so malas di Opis and was browsing for songs in my iphone. skali, i came across this one new tab in the Music apps; Radio. ku click lah kan. skali it's like this online radio thingy that plays new songs or something. and I came across this Song, named 'Miss Movin On' by Fifth Harmony. rugged lah. I made a note to myself that when I get home that day, i was going to download that song.



Which I did. 

then aku terdiscover yg the song is actually from Fifth Harmony's EP album called 'Better Together'.
being me, apa g, ku dangar lah semua lagu2 nya (there are altogether six songs including the Miss Movin On song). and I fell in love with two more songs from that album; Who Are You and Don't Wanna Dance Alone. 

 Who Are You


Don't Wanna Dance Alone



I'm always so happy finding new songs.

but my itunes credit suffers. -.-"

album cShane Filan lagi next two weeks. 

Help~

(LOL! andangnya, mikin kn saving, mikin menjadi2 yg kan dbali ani...tsk..)


. . .

Something So Random Part 2

Hello again.
did you anticipate my next post?
coz here it goes

xD

. . . . . . .

1. If you could take me to one place and do one thing with me what would it be?

Since I don’t know you that well, I’m just gona bring you to grab a bite or something. Food is good way to ‘break the ice’ (or we could just eat eat eat, smile awkwardly at each other, then bid goodbyes. BAHAHAHA)

2. What is the best dream you've ever had?

OH! I have this dream recently. It involved f(x)’s Amber. I was begging (yes, begging) her to be my friend. I even told her that it was because I want to get close to SuJu-M’s Henry. She was ignoring me of course. Hahahah it was so funny. Because in that dream, I even come up with a storyline for my fiction; get to know Henry and turns out, from a far, Onew was trying to get to know me.

LOL! Some dream huh? I must be reading some fanfics before I went to sleep that night. Hashtag justlaughalong

3. Name one thing about yourself that you are proud of. You must come up with at least one.

Lately this phase kept repeating itself in my head. “I’m proud of what I do” Hastag workplacerelated.

4. Where in the world would you like to go that you haven't gone yet and why? (Not Korea if it's possible I probably know your reasons for wanting to go there)

Ireland. Because, since I didn’t get to see Westlife Live Concert anywhere, the least I could do is visit their birth country just to feel close to them :’)

5. If you could get an animal onesie (think SHINee Hello Baby) in any animal you desire what would it be?

(I think this girl meant ‘onepiece suit’ and I’m gona stick with that coz I really don’t know what she wants. And she did mention SHINee Hello Baby and Onew in Cow jumpsuit came into my mind) a Cow. Like Onew’s.

6. Name one thing that interests you and makes you smile, so I know what to do for you or buy for you if we ever meet.

Books! And cute stationaries.

7. Have you ever walked into anything? (Window, pole, random object?) I have.

Hahahaha once. at the airport. That automatic sliding glass door. Damn that door. HAHAHAH! (yeah, now you know)

8. What kind of fashion style do you like? On yourself and on your crushes?

Something nice and comfy. Smart looking. But I’m size 100++ so I always feel like anything on me isn’t so pretty :S.

But on my crushes, anything nice and smart (again) something that says he’s making an effort in his appearance. Even in the smallest of measurements. It counts ;)

9. Do you like to go shopping and what do you like to shop for?

I do. On pens. Lots and a lots of them. But I’ve been restraining myself from doing so lately. I have enough trash as it is. ahaha

10. What makes K-pop special and important to you?

Again. It isnt’. Not really. Just, it keeps me going. Another phase of my life that I love so much. ahahaha

11. Name one K-pop person that you want to hug and why.

*rolled eyes* Onew. Duhh. Without a reason. Just because. Hashtag doingthingsthatyouloveaskfornowreason

Question by DubuMint

. . . . . . .

doesn't this reminds you of that time when this type of questionnaire was so famous on Facebook?

. . .

Something So Random Part 1

when boredom strikes, you do random shiz.
LOL

I got this questionnaire from asianfanfics.com blog. Ms. dubumints posted them and I meant to repost, answered and tagged her back (and 11 others) but I'm just too lazy.
So, I'm posting this here instead.

Enjoy reading lovelies ;)

. . . . . . . 

1. Who is your bias & from which group (you can only pick ONE~!)

Onew, of course. from SHINee 

2. Why is K-pop important or special to you?

It’s not so important and it ain’t so special to me. But it keeps me going. My life as dull as fcuk right now. And Kpop news/musics/SHINee/etc keeps me going. (I think I now know why I’m not posting this on asianfanfics. ROFL!).

3. Where do you want to travel to? (Korea by default & plus one more place) <- am="" assuming="" automatically="" go="" i="" is="" korea="" live="" lol="" that="" there="" to="" unless="" want="" would="" you="">...< 

Yes, Korea. But lately I’ve been thinking about Singapore a lot. And UK. So, I’m so torn.

4. Which idol do you admire most & why.

I’d say, BoA? Because she admitted once that she’s 30% talent and 80% hard work. Coz I know from the beginning she wasn’t that talented but over the decade, over her hard work, she’s Queen of KPop now. I salute her for that.

5. What is your favourite K-pop song.

Right now, it’s SHINee’s Colorful. I’M SO IN LOVE WITH IT!

6. If you could meet one K-pop idol, which Idol would you pick?

Onew. In a heartbeat. LOL

7. What was the first K-pop MV you ever watched?

BoA’s Shine We Are. (although the one I watched was actually in Japanese but since both Korean and Japanese MVs are similar, it still counts ahaha).

8. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

[Fictionally] Sasha but ever since Kpop, it’s Miyoung.

9. Name one thing that you want to try for the first time ever.

Bungee jumping. Or after watching SHINee’s One Fine Day; Sky-Diving. xD

10. Name the last 5 songs you listened to.

[Lucky I’ve always my player on shuffle so I wouldn’t sound so boring listening to one artists hahaha]

One Direction – Best Song Ever

Westlife – Against All Odds

BoA – the Shadow (Japanese ver.)

Selena Gomez - Come and Get It

SHINee - Spoiler.

11. Which animal is your dream pet?

A freakin Tiger. Like Princess Jasmine had. Like, seriously, I want one. and then named it Raja. 

Question by thenameiloves08

. . . . . . .

and then I decided that I will post the next two on two different posts (so I can maximize my number of posts xD)

until then,

anticipate it. (Hashtag LOLingForever)

. . .