Mid life crisis

late last year,

I keep going over the idea of becoming a youtube vlogger.

but after that,

I got lazy.

BAHAHAHA

I think I'm just gonna stick to writing blogs.

I did make a few videos on my last trip, but that's just it.

I ended up, writing down the stories with pictures. instead of putting up a video.

there is some comforts in reading a story.

to me, it just feels genuine. 

Not saying story shown on video is any less genuine, i'm just letting you know what I prefer.

I am not ruling out becoming a vlogger either.

but I won't be one in any near future.

*shrug*

Productivity

Last last weekend, I decided to delete my new Story (well, not so new) I posted on AFF (stands for Asianfanfics.com if you don't already know).

I posted this last chapter

and as you can see, I was informing my 4 subscribers that I'm deleting the story soon.

but the next morning, when I opened my AFF tab, I saw someone subscribed to my story.
I was supposed to delete it in a few hours but I posted the above late and faktor umur, I slept earlier than I planned to and had to do it the next morning.
As any writer would be, I was happy and had a second thought about deleting the story.

So,
I reread the story (the one that I already posted).

and I was surprised.
I was actually doing pretty good (if I can say so myself).
I say this because I've been telling myself that my layout or how I laid the words are crappy.
the fact that I only have 4 subscribers since I published it on 5th Apr 2015, makes me believe that I'm a crappy writer.

but as I was reading the second chapter, I thought to myself, "This is actually pretty good"
well, not JK Rowling good but you know, good enough for me and I'm actually satisfied with what I have posted.

then, I wondered, why was I so negative before?

I guess, it was the same issue that I had here, in blogspot
I was thinking too much about what other people think or how they would take this or how many comments I would get.
The fact that people are all over EXO in fanfics right now and all the older SHINee fans isn't on AFF anymore, demotivate me to continue posting my story.
the fact that I was lazy and procrastinating af isn't helping either.
I think too much about what other people think.
I should go back to being me and post what I want and how I want to.

Seriously, 
I need to take my own advise into accounts these days.
I've been EVERYWHERE.
as in, my mind isn't here nor there. same goes to my heart.
I don't know.
I need to keep it all together.
I need to get back up and be me.

In regards to my AFF story, I'm going to hide it from public views until such time when I am ready to properly commit to regularly update it.

. . .

disclaimer: I'm not saying I'm going to change straight away. this thing needs time and patient. and I'm trying. please be proud of me trying to better myself instead of judging on how I do things. As i posted once on Facebook, "Just because I'm doing it my way, doesn't mean that I'm doing it wrong"

. . .

Shoot Straight

seriously,
I need to update this story.
I've left it hanging for two weeks now.
No, nothing the matter.
I'm just dead lazy.
hahaha
and to make a legit excuse, for the last two weeks, my weekend had been dedicated to moving things from the old house to the new.

I know, I should be posting this on my blog at asianfanfics.com instead of here but like I said, I am lazy to go there. wawawa 
besides, I want to show off this amazing poster made by ALY_VIP 
she made it for my story.
I am impress by others ability to edit pictures and make posters like this. 
just so impress. 
I remember trying when I was in lower Six. Not a complete failure but not a success either. hahaha
Again, I moved on and now I think it's easier to give such task to people who actually know how and love doing it.


. . .

Wreck This Journal

Keri Smith - Wreck This Journal

Saw this book last year at Best Eastern Manggis but had no interest what's so ever on it.

and today, I went to Best Eastern Rimba with Zawir and saw the book again. I wanted to bali on the spot tadi but thought, "Check Ebay lu". hahaha (I shall post something about me and ebay some other time. or bila ku rajin lah ah).

I checked ebay and guess what? kurang labih jua harganya ah... 

So, isuk ku bali dBestEastern saja. Kekeke

A/N: at least all I have to do is follow the instructions. xD

. . .

Cr: Image credit to real owner. 

Something So Random Part 3 (Final)

this last one is so horrible that I almost deleted it.
But since I promise you'll be posting two more of this random shiz, tada! here it is.
these questions was from Ms. dubumints herself.
I wonder if this was pure fun or she made up for a living or something.
it's so gooey.
Like, wth gurl?!

but it's for the fun of things. I'll answer it for that sake alone.

Enjoy. (or cringe)
[the one bold/large is my answer. the one in italic is ms. dubumints A/N]

. . . . . . .

1.  Your bias is super thirsty, what would you make him drink to quench his thirst:

a. shampoo (at least it wont kill him. i think)

b. boiling water

c. poison.

2. Your bias is getting tortured! What scene is before you?

a. your bias getting his nails and teeth (without anesthesia!) pulled out.

b. your bias' bones being broken one by one.

c. your bias being skinned alive (at least you can 'jait' them together again. I hope.)

3. Would you rather:

a. stop your bias from being an idol (or anything in the entertainment field)

or

b. send your bias to military training forever

4. if you could be a thing that's used by your bias, what would you be?

a. his deodorant

b. his socks (Onew wears socks all the time so..it's good to know he'll be wearing me often LOL. gawd I hate socks!)

c. his cotton buds

5. You and your bias are starring in a film! What would the film be?

a. Human Centipede

b. Red Room

c. House of Wax

Were the questions too much? Okay, let me lighten it up a little.

6. Your bias finally tells you he's in love! So whom is his heart beating for?

a. your bestfriend

b. your sister

c. your number one enemy (so i don't have to kill those who are dear to me Hashtag ifthesituationcallsforkillingthatis)

7. You were given a chance to control your bias' fate. What would you give him:

a. non-stop sasaeng fans (at least they'll still be topping the charts and have a non crappy company that can take care of its artists)

b. songs that will never place in any music charts

c. a very crappy company that can't take care of its artists.

8. Your bias is stuck in a desolate island. What would you give him to help him survive?

a. earphones

b. cottons

c. comb (0_o)

9. What would you prefer?

a. ALL your favorite Kpop groups doing a concert JUST for you, but you can never HEAR a thing.

b. Your bias hugging you forever but you can't FEEL a thing.

c. Your bias group by your side (as in your house, your bed, etc.), but you can't SEE them.

10. What eccentric attitude would your bias have?

a. He's/She is a racist. (He can't be much worst than I am Hashtag LOLingForever)

b. He/She is a klepto.

c. He/She is cruel to animals.

LAST QUESTION! Before you guys go off to murder me for giving you such horrible questions and choices, let me save myself now! XD

11. Your bias finally tells you he/she loves you. What would be your response:

a. I'm sorry, I'm married and I have three beautiful children. (Coz let's face it. nothing is EVER gona happen between us)

b. I'm in love too...with your bandmate, that is.

c. I don't feel the same way; and I never will.

HA! I spent thirty minutes thinking of heart-squelching questions. ROFL.

Don't get mad! I made it really easy! I mean, it's multiple choice! You don't even need to explain anything! Pfft. Keke

. . . . . . .

I decided to just give a lil of my thoughts of why I chose my answer. 

Now, I'm wondering whether she is right in the head. she got that 'why so serious' thing going on with these questions.

it was nice though, me feeling like I killed Onew in the process of answering these questions. every other people's questions must be about how much you love your idol, this and that. this is definitely refreshing. 

you wana give it a try?

. . .

Something So Random Part 2

Hello again.
did you anticipate my next post?
coz here it goes

xD

. . . . . . .

1. If you could take me to one place and do one thing with me what would it be?

Since I don’t know you that well, I’m just gona bring you to grab a bite or something. Food is good way to ‘break the ice’ (or we could just eat eat eat, smile awkwardly at each other, then bid goodbyes. BAHAHAHA)

2. What is the best dream you've ever had?

OH! I have this dream recently. It involved f(x)’s Amber. I was begging (yes, begging) her to be my friend. I even told her that it was because I want to get close to SuJu-M’s Henry. She was ignoring me of course. Hahahah it was so funny. Because in that dream, I even come up with a storyline for my fiction; get to know Henry and turns out, from a far, Onew was trying to get to know me.

LOL! Some dream huh? I must be reading some fanfics before I went to sleep that night. Hashtag justlaughalong

3. Name one thing about yourself that you are proud of. You must come up with at least one.

Lately this phase kept repeating itself in my head. “I’m proud of what I do” Hastag workplacerelated.

4. Where in the world would you like to go that you haven't gone yet and why? (Not Korea if it's possible I probably know your reasons for wanting to go there)

Ireland. Because, since I didn’t get to see Westlife Live Concert anywhere, the least I could do is visit their birth country just to feel close to them :’)

5. If you could get an animal onesie (think SHINee Hello Baby) in any animal you desire what would it be?

(I think this girl meant ‘onepiece suit’ and I’m gona stick with that coz I really don’t know what she wants. And she did mention SHINee Hello Baby and Onew in Cow jumpsuit came into my mind) a Cow. Like Onew’s.

6. Name one thing that interests you and makes you smile, so I know what to do for you or buy for you if we ever meet.

Books! And cute stationaries.

7. Have you ever walked into anything? (Window, pole, random object?) I have.

Hahahaha once. at the airport. That automatic sliding glass door. Damn that door. HAHAHAH! (yeah, now you know)

8. What kind of fashion style do you like? On yourself and on your crushes?

Something nice and comfy. Smart looking. But I’m size 100++ so I always feel like anything on me isn’t so pretty :S.

But on my crushes, anything nice and smart (again) something that says he’s making an effort in his appearance. Even in the smallest of measurements. It counts ;)

9. Do you like to go shopping and what do you like to shop for?

I do. On pens. Lots and a lots of them. But I’ve been restraining myself from doing so lately. I have enough trash as it is. ahaha

10. What makes K-pop special and important to you?

Again. It isnt’. Not really. Just, it keeps me going. Another phase of my life that I love so much. ahahaha

11. Name one K-pop person that you want to hug and why.

*rolled eyes* Onew. Duhh. Without a reason. Just because. Hashtag doingthingsthatyouloveaskfornowreason

Question by DubuMint

. . . . . . .

doesn't this reminds you of that time when this type of questionnaire was so famous on Facebook?

. . .

Something So Random Part 1

when boredom strikes, you do random shiz.
LOL

I got this questionnaire from asianfanfics.com blog. Ms. dubumints posted them and I meant to repost, answered and tagged her back (and 11 others) but I'm just too lazy.
So, I'm posting this here instead.

Enjoy reading lovelies ;)

. . . . . . . 

1. Who is your bias & from which group (you can only pick ONE~!)

Onew, of course. from SHINee 

2. Why is K-pop important or special to you?

It’s not so important and it ain’t so special to me. But it keeps me going. My life as dull as fcuk right now. And Kpop news/musics/SHINee/etc keeps me going. (I think I now know why I’m not posting this on asianfanfics. ROFL!).

3. Where do you want to travel to? (Korea by default & plus one more place) <- am="" assuming="" automatically="" go="" i="" is="" korea="" live="" lol="" that="" there="" to="" unless="" want="" would="" you="">...< 

Yes, Korea. But lately I’ve been thinking about Singapore a lot. And UK. So, I’m so torn.

4. Which idol do you admire most & why.

I’d say, BoA? Because she admitted once that she’s 30% talent and 80% hard work. Coz I know from the beginning she wasn’t that talented but over the decade, over her hard work, she’s Queen of KPop now. I salute her for that.

5. What is your favourite K-pop song.

Right now, it’s SHINee’s Colorful. I’M SO IN LOVE WITH IT!

6. If you could meet one K-pop idol, which Idol would you pick?

Onew. In a heartbeat. LOL

7. What was the first K-pop MV you ever watched?

BoA’s Shine We Are. (although the one I watched was actually in Japanese but since both Korean and Japanese MVs are similar, it still counts ahaha).

8. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

[Fictionally] Sasha but ever since Kpop, it’s Miyoung.

9. Name one thing that you want to try for the first time ever.

Bungee jumping. Or after watching SHINee’s One Fine Day; Sky-Diving. xD

10. Name the last 5 songs you listened to.

[Lucky I’ve always my player on shuffle so I wouldn’t sound so boring listening to one artists hahaha]

One Direction – Best Song Ever

Westlife – Against All Odds

BoA – the Shadow (Japanese ver.)

Selena Gomez - Come and Get It

SHINee - Spoiler.

11. Which animal is your dream pet?

A freakin Tiger. Like Princess Jasmine had. Like, seriously, I want one. and then named it Raja. 

Question by thenameiloves08

. . . . . . .

and then I decided that I will post the next two on two different posts (so I can maximize my number of posts xD)

until then,

anticipate it. (Hashtag LOLingForever)

. . .