Another life disappointment

I am upset. very the upset.

I don't want to be including the IG seller here coz I feel like its not her doing but I still wanna. on second thoughts, I'm not gonna. Not becoz I'm classy but becoz I am lazy to screenshot. (ANDDD proceeded to screenshot anyway coz I'm lazy to type the whole thing)

So, back story:

back on Mar 17, 2020, I came across a picture on IG; Colorpop x Mulan collection. 

I'm a huge fan of Mulan and is excited for the Live action movie (which is still delayed by the way. at Cineplex it says they will be showing Mulan in Aug 2020), obviously I want to have this collection. 

I clicked on the user and those items were on Pre-Order basis and ETA was 3-4 weeks.

On Mar 18,2020 9:27am I made the preOrder. Full pymt was required. I don't have account with the seller's bank so I only bank-in the same day at 7pm.

and then, Covid Lockdown happened to the world.

I'm the type of buyer that doesn't like to chase. I don't want to bother or annoy the seller. 🤷

May 1, 2020. I finally asked the seller the update on my orders. Seller came back with a screenshot from Colorpop.

I understood the situation and thank the seller? but in reality, i was not happy with the seller. They should have contacted EVERY buyer in regards to that updates. Don't just expect me to come and ask you. but like i said, I understand and let it go.

June 17, 2020. I asked again for update. 

again, not very happy with the respond but what am I supposed to do? this thing is global.

and lastly July 19, 2020. the most devastating follow up ever. 

Once again, this seller just expect people to read their post. 

and most of all, the item is never gonna come. argh. 

Again, I understand its out of the seller's control but I would appreciate if they would just return my money in the mean time. 

Like the other previous Colorpop seller; when there was another month delay, they offered to refund first but once the item arrive, they will comeback to me first before reselling it in case I still one to purchase that item. 

This is ridiculous man. From Mar 18 till Jul 19, thats 4 months! the seller should've refunded first. 

Not that I would take the refund becoz I really want those collections. LOL 

but seeing how they didn't even think of refunding me, they seems confident that them items will definitely arrive? albeit, super delayed? 

That was what I was rooting for; my items to arrive!

tapi now, poof. Hancur harapan.

and will be refunded in 6 weeks? after I waited for 4 months?! That June respond was unnecassary. "in USPS transit" konon. false hope.

I'm never gonna do preOrder anymore after this. I have no problem preOrdering, I just want my items to arrive. and don't be calling me impatient. I asked this seller once a month for an update and not once did I request for a refund (coz goddammit i really one those collections!). If that is not patient, I don't know what is.

Sigh.

Look at them. 

So pretty.

So red.

So Mulan.

hanya dalam mimpi.

but if you can find this item anywhere, let me know. I might order this via ebay actually. might cost a fortune to ship but at least I will have it.

DM me.  

FOR ONCE I WANT A MAKEUP COLLECTION SO BAD!

. . .

Oh! here's the story from the Seller before this one.

Japan Trip Day 1.0

Seminggu Kemudian~

hahaha

Life is so busy right now and my lazy-o-meter isn't helping either.

Butt

Here goes my so-called Japan Trip journal ...thingy..

Day 1.0

Day one wasn't really in Japan yet, coz we were using Singapore Airline, hence we had a layover in Singapore first before we fly off to Japan.
We left Brunei on 8th Sep at 11:55am and arrived in Singapore at around 2pm.
Our flight to Japan from Singapore was on 9th Sep at 1:25am.
as mentioned on the previous post, our layover was more than 12hours!!!
I tell you, my anxiety level was unbearably high!

for some reason, me and Buzz had matching color baju.



telepasi! seriously, we were both so busy before the trip, we didn't have time to discuss baju.

Anyway, to pass the time, we spent our time playing playstation game at Terminal 2 of Changi Airport.
this part is too bad; I didn't take picture.
but the place was over the Koi Pond area.
Google it.
hahahah

Lupa ku nama game nya. It was Japanese base/theme/backstory (coz ada Samurai and map Japan ..thingy), adventure, missions to finish, etc. I suck at it but at least it got my mind away from my nerves. coz seriously, my nerves were everywhere!

~Fast foward~
We boarded plane to Osaka, Japan on time and as we were settling down, one of the cabin crew approached me and asked if I'm 'Miss Awana' and I said 'No' with a smile and continued talking sama cBuzz. until the lady once again said to me 'Is your birthday tomorrow?' then aku te-klik and nodded yes, she greeted me and long story short, She said they had a cake for me which she will give to me once we landed in Japan.
Malu ku!!!
Aku tau sapa punya angkara!!!
I was/am grateful, of course!
but!
argh!
malu ya amat!

After that, no more surprises and before long I was off. coz I was dizzy/nauseated. I couldn't really sleep. I kept waking up every other hour wishing we landed already ahahah inda penyabar~. 
the next hundred times I open my eyes, the cabin lights were on and we began our descent to Japan.

. . .

a/n:



once again, Thank You to my kazen, Ka Tin for the advance notice to your fellow cabin crews!

. . .

Post Worthy 7.1016

So, it's Hari Raya and you know what that means?

it's that time of the year you go visiting (which called BERAYA to) your grandma's place, cousin's place and friend's place.

you know what's more tear jerking moment than reminiscing the old times?
it's when you go Beraya but you were on your phone the entire visit.

I have a first hand experience on that.

Might as well you don't come and visit if you're gona be on your phone all the time.

Don't blame people if you no one wants to talk to you or bother to make a conversation.

don't even blame the phone.

Coz you're the human one and the decision, the choice is yours.

#PutDownYourPhone and #MakeRealConversation

Image credit to respective owners.

. . .

what the TOOOOTTT

I told you that I'm gona tell you what I watched on youtube that made me go
"what the hell did I just watch?!"



it's a video documentary about the existent of mermaid/merman.

In the beginning it was all very promising, Animal Planet claims the Rights to this video so naturally I thought, this could be it. I was excited to watch this 'never before seen footage' that they were about to share. 

but first, let me clarify:
I believe there are creatures in the deep ocean that we have yet to discover (or not meant to discover). and this believe alone made me scared of the ocean.
Scared of the ocean means, as fascinated as I was with Little Mermaid, I would prefer not be in the ocean to go and find merpeople.

I did come across two fiction-novels revolving around Mermaids; the Forbidden Sea by Sheila A. Neilson and Monstrous Beauty by Elizabeth Fama. and I wondered what books these two ladies read, what researched they gone thru to be able to write such detail 'myth' and back stories about mermaid.

but even with those curiousity, I didn't think much of it.

I got the word 'merpeople' from JK Rowling. She mentioned it in Goblet of Fire.

anyway,
the reason why I went 'what the hell' after watching this movie was because, I read the comments and turned out, that documentary, the 'never before seen' thingy was all 'made for tv' or 'for entertainment' only. 
like, did I just waste 1hr of my life for something that is not even real?!

dammit!
hahaha
I know it's not real to begin with
but I thought I'll be seeing the real mermaid or merman. not the typical fishtail lower body, but you know, something that prove their existent.

I hate it when my hopes and dreams crashed.
I should really listen to my own advise, "Don't believe everything you read/see on the internet"

. . .

Still not used to

it's the 14th of February and I'm still not used to being in 2016. 
I kept thinking that the year just started when in fact we're almost done with the second month!

it is save to say yg I haven't done anything productive.
1. I didn't even finish checking off 'books I've read' list.
2. I have not move on to my next phone case DIY project.
3. I haven't started any exercise regime (the most MUST DO thing)

as the sun goes down today (when it was still 13th Feb that is), I thought to myself, "I should read a book later" but ended up wasting my time on my phone browsing Instagram over something so irrelevant and by 9pm, I took a shower and after that cooked dinner. and spent almost 3 hours outside leaving my phone charged in my room.

Do you wana know what's the thing, though?
the reason why I left my phone to charge in my room was because i think I've spent too much time on it, rechecking all my social media apps for something so petty! 
i need to get away from it!
it's evil!

and I'm not even kidding!
I know I'm not addicted to drugs but it feels just as bad!

I missed reading books. as in holding onto physical book and reading from it.

I have tons of ebook on my phone but reading from my phone is just not the same.

banar tah tu (it's true then) yg me buying an ipad would be a waste of money;
1. I told people (more like trying to convince myself) that i want an ipad for games and reading my ebooks
2. i used the same reason when I first plan on buying my iphone 6plus. and look where my games and ebooks now? Not played and not read.

Ok fine, I did read Mortal Instrument but stopped halfway coz I decided to start reading Scorch Trial. but same all, I haven't finish reading that coz I only ever open my book apps when I'm not checking my Instagram. which i check all the time out of habit v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ

*Iklan* I just realise; it's Valentine's Day. ٩(♡ε♡)۶
hmmm... I should've bought chocolate or cakes tadi. *Iklan*

I saw this lady at the restaurant last Thursday after work and she was reading a book.
She was so engrossed in it that had me thinking, 'was I like that last time?' and had a sudden realization yg that me had long been forgotten.



the above picture says it all. o(TヘTo)

When I got into my room tadi, I thought i'd started reading one of the book but ended up checking where I left off with my own fanfic instead hahahaha
I guess that's a start, right?
but that short lived coz I decided I'm inspired enough to write a post here. ( ￣ー￣)φ__

I feel like I'm lost. like, no sense of direction!
I need to set a short term goals for me to focus on. at least that would give me the sense that I am going somewhere.

. . .

Play Play Play

I bought new nail stamp last month and finally got the chance to use them properly last Friday while watching Sherlock Holmes.

Here's the outcome:

Ignore the ugly cuticles and focus on the nails deco, shall we?
LOL

from a far they looked like inai. Especially with that nail polish color.

The very first attempt using the stamp (while I was watching Anastasia), 
well

it was a complete mess.

Maybe next time I become a pro.

a/n: I need to do something with my super dry cuticles.

. . .

(Pretend) Recital Practice

I'm not sure if I've always known this habit but;
I search lyrics for my current fav song and start to menghafal the song like I was going to perform it in front of a live audience, when I'm stressed/pressured/depressed/etc.

LOL

and it's great way of losing or letting out my anger.

thus, here's the new song that I've been practicing; Ailee's 한걸음 더.
the English translation is One Step Closer.

and this is the 5th Korean song that I took the time to 'hafal' the song by studying the Hangul lyrics.
in case you guys curious what's the other 4 songs are, let me list them down real quick;
1. BoA - No.1
2. SMTown - Dear My Family (I AM ost)
3. SMTown - Hope
4. So Hyang - Arirang Alone

No. 2 and 3 atu aku hafalkan konon nya kan sing-a-long time liat concert di Singapore few years back. hahaha 

I know, I'm like Kpop lover and cheese. There should be at least a SHINee song in that list, right? but honestly, I love the songs but still prefer Japanese song over Korean. Coz I can pronounce Japanese (reading the romanization of course, not the real Japanese character) better than I can with Korean. LOL! 

Anyhoo, 
Like I did with BoA's Close To Me, I'm going to share with you guys Ailee's 한걸음 더 lyrics here.
it's not mine, I took from a website via Google search.
Let's menghafal this song together now~~!

keep it together my child
울지 마 dry your eyes
더 이상 숨지 마
크게 소리쳐 봐 아픔을 외쳐 봐
뒤돌아 웃어 now
길이 없던 난 멀리 보이는
불빛으로 다가가고 싶은데
다가갈 수 없게
너무나 아픈데
무너져 버린 나를
희망으로 날 잡아준 건
시간이 지나면
괜찮아질 거라고
모두가 얘기해
조명이 켜지면 아무도 모르죠
슬픈 표정은 gone
잠겨 있었던 내 감정은 어디로
다가가고 싶은데
다가갈 수 없게
너무나 아픈데
무너져 버린 나를
희망으로 날 잡아준 건 너
나 포기하지 않을게
no no 또 하루를 보내
서로를 위해 한 걸음 더 가깝게
다가갈 수 있게 받아준 그 사람
어두웠던 내 맘에 사랑으로
날 밝혀준 건 너

and here's a audio video with the lyrics also, just so you know what the song sounds like xD



I had tears in my eyes the first time I heard this song. and I don't even know what it means at that time. ahahah 

. . .

a/n: I know I've been depressed with myself lately and I really don't know what to do with this anger. and yesterday, the last straw had been thrown my way and I am done. It's been long overdue and it's time to move on.

. . .

Out of boredom

and laziness.

I went shopping yesterday for new Silver marker (coz the one I had was faulty), and as always, I ended up buying more than just a Silver marker.
I bought these too.

I bought the green ones back when I was doing the August Doodle Challenge (but never actually use it for the challenge).
and now I wonder what I should be doing with them. I still have plenty of kiddies marker pens to choose from, not to mention my Sharpies too.

So what I did today was to color my Ariel. 

I printed the 'coloring' image from the internet (found it on Goodle search).

I know, very sloppy. LOL. well, I'm no professional.

I don't know where this 'coloring' craze came from.
maybe it's from what I've been seeing on IG's explores page; people been posting colored pages from that famous coloring book. I don't know where it originally came from but I know I first saw the thing from Key's IG post few months back. and the written letters were in Korean.

Now, I saw these coloring books at our local bookstore too. Only it's in English. Although I considered it cheap, I haven't got around to buy them. I'm scared that this phase I'm in is only temporary. besides, I am such a lazy person that even if I thought of it, I usually ended up not doing it. LOL

anyway,
i thought I'd share this recent thoughts here;
I once saw someone posted a collection of their sketch books and I thought, "I wish I could draw too" and proceeded into thinking of buying a sketch book for myself.
But yesterday, as I was buying the markers and looking thru some small sketch book to buy, I realized, I am no artist (not the one that draws anyways) and decided to stop the frenzy of buying art supply and such.
On my way home, I kept thinking (and realizing) that I already have a collection of books/journals. they may not be as awesome as the one that those artists have; with their anime like drawings, majestic colors, etc. but my diaries/journals are all and filled to the brim with writings.
I think it's awesome that I actually have diaries/journals collection. 
How many people have such collections? I mean a collection of something you yourself create? I'm guessing not so many.
I remember writing or typing the saying of Anne Frank's, "I may not know how to draw but at least I can write".
So, as I sat here this afternoon, wondering (still) about what to draw, I decided to just let go of that ambition and just settled with coloring instead. I colored so well. LOL

all I'm saying is that, I'm glad that I have this sense of trying to draw. In another word, I'm trying to find myself again thru this. "Try and Error," as one of my fellow Team Building buddy once said. 
It's never too late. the good thing about it is that, at this age, you become less stressful over your error and learn quickly to move forward onto another thing.
it may look like I was giving up but lets face it, drawing doesn't just happened over night (as do success), they took a lot of years to perfect.
Just like writing. I don't just write like this out of no where. It took me my entire high school life to find the confidence to even write this long for your viewing. even when you don't read it! 

I guess, from my point of view, people only ever interested in my art when I have a lot of pictures posted together with any of my lengthy post. So that's what I did all these years with my posts. To keep people interested, I either posted something short with one picture or if I decided on something lengthy, I make sure I have some pictures attached in it before posting.
It gets a little frustrating sometimes trying to figure out what makes people happy with my posts.
BUT
that always short-lived and I ended up posting whatever I want.
xD

. . .

Onew has a sexy back.

No hate.
. . .

DIY : Do It Yourself

I was dead bored the whole of last week that I went shopping

ヾ(＠⌒▽⌒＠)ﾉ

on eBay.

and as I was browsing thru so much random shiz, I came up with an idea; how about I make my very own phone case?
like this one

Not my photo as marked.

the plain phone case was DIY-ly designed using a fake-whip-cream clay with little knic-knacs, or decodens, as they called them on eBay (or anywhere else in the world).

I watched a couple of videos on youtube and I think I can do it too.

and the whip-cream-clay was easy enough to make; dry air clay mixed with liquid glue and water (with measured amount of course). I could buy them on eBay but we all know that would take ages to arrive to Brunei (especially with Free Shipment. coz I'm cheapskate and don't like paying express shipment v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ)

But i did buy a couple of decodens from eBay. 

this is not my picture. and also not the sample of decodens that I have bought. 

this is just an example.

I shall start decorating when those things arrived. For now, I shall relax and buy some more. muahahaha! Nuh, just kidding. I am currently thinking of whether I should start a business doing a customize phone case. ᵔᴥᵔ

or I think I'll just buy a few tiny bits of deco at the Mall or something to start my DIY. They probably cost a bit more than the ones from eBay but better than having to wait for my parcel to arrive next month!

I'll share some pictures of my very own phone case when I finally made it one day. 
Let us all pray I have the will to stay motivated. \m/(>.<)\m/

. . .

the IN thing

So, there's this IN thing right now; the easy peel nail polish. not sure if it's the brand but the stickers had MY MALAEKA on it.

(the morning after I applied the nail polish)

I was intrigued and bought one too.
It was easy to peel off alright.

(easy peel like everyone was saying)

It's just ...it cost me BND6. for 8ml. like, WTF?!

even SilkyGirl's, SkinFood's, Etude's, FaceShop's, and Holika's nail polishes cost me less than BND5/BND7 each and they're more than 11ml each! like WTH?!

the fact that this easy peel off nail polish couldn't even last a day (becoz the polish is glue-like, it peeled itself slowly as I made constant contact with water) tick me off. 

 (almost half the day gone and it peels off on its own at the edge)

to me, nail polish are supposed to last longer. they are meant to stay longer. Not that I wear mine often but when I do, i like them to stay at least two days after application (coz normally I got bored after two days and removed them off via nail polish remover).

what become of my nails when i peeled them nail polish off?

dry-looking and scarred, like the nail polish peeled off a thin layer of nails too. 
I don't like it. 

I know the nail polish remover isn't that great either but at least it doesn't make my nails looked like they've been scraped.

I was just disappointed with this product. Not worth my $6 and it's very small. the phrase "untuk main-main" ticked me off even further.
I know why it was the IN thing now; for muslims women who bought this, they just find it convenient. they could easily peel the nail polish off before prayer. and re-applying them again afterwards. peel off again for the next prayer. re-applying. peel off. re-applying. 
Macam, why make life so hard? Why not do what I do; using it during 'the time of the month' saja? Easy. applied once, then remove them three four days later? instead of applying-peel off-redo-ing every few hours. a day? 
why not?

a/n: sorry for the horror of my dry/ugly-looking/nails/cuticles. hahaha sedang mencuba untuk merajinkan diri memakai lotion. :P

. . .

Wait till you're a lot older

This is a random rage post.

there was a post on IG (a  Kpop confession acct) 

and I agreed to it.

then some kid decided to give some of us (who agreed to the confessor) a piece of his/her mind.

So, I got angry. I know I shouldn't be. I should've have known better and let it go or shit. but I think I'm gona post a piece of MY mind here. In my blog. 

" The thing is, I've been obsessed with a boyband before and I know it feels like 'this love is real' right now but trust me 'girls', it is not. It'll die down and you will realize just how stupid you are ..one day. when you're older. and wiser (hopefully). and you'll be too embarrass to admit your stupidity and laugh it off. Dismissively denying shit when everybody (I mean EVERYBODY) seen you being stupid. *scoff* *rolled eyes* puhlease...
Then when you realized that I was right, you'd be like 'BAHAHAHAH! SO TRUE!' "

I know what she commented back to us got nothing to do with what I just typed above but you know what I mean right? No? Ok. read below.

THE POINT IS! I'm not homophobic!  

maybe I am but that's my religious point of view and there's nothing you can do about it. 
I have guy friends who are gay but I'm not like disgusted with them. I am still very much close with them. I just don't disagree nor do i encourage them about it. I have my own beliefs. *giving you the incredulous look*

my reply to that girl was 'Thanks. To each their own, yeah?'
and she responded back by saying, 'Hmm? what?!'

-.-

I just assumed she wasn't English.
and that was when I decided to make this post.

Like the confessor said, we were just disgusted that someone would actually post a Photoshopped images like that.

Why make such a big deal out of it?

OR MAYBE this sk.jongsuk person IS gay or bi or lesbian or transgendered or anything. that's why this post and its comments offended him/her so. Defensive ya di sana atu.
No artists asked you to defend them, so just chill, ok? 
If you believe that we're in the Era, and I quote 'where a lot of people are gay or bi now so learn to deal with it', you should first learn that there are still millions other people millons different views from you. Coz, sweetheart, if you can't be open-minded about other people having different views from you, then, i think, you should just ... *whispers* stay out of the debate club. 
or at least, get to know where you really stand before you argue your case.

TO EACH THEIR OWN! 

I know I'm being childish posting this up but I just wana let it out of my system.

sigh. just wait till you're a lot older (and hopefully wiser too) then you will understand what my rage is all about. 

you're supposed to laugh at comments that are stupid and don't suits you! not make it personal and start an internet war or something. why waste your time like that?! Go study or something!! Jeep!

a/n: I'm an adult and I am allowed to waste my time on the net like this. 

. . .

I know I should be posting my Day 3. I do that one on the next post :D

. . .

Loomband craze

and I've caught it too.

although I'm not so crazy about it. I only know (and only willing to learn) the fishtail braid.

hahah i only ever wore one, once. after that I'm over it.

i made several more to pass the time and thats it.

Now I wonder what I'm supposed to do with all these. 

I offered it for free on IG. only had one takers but I seldom see her, so i dont know when I'll be giving her one. LOL

a/n: when boredom strikes, you do sort of random shits. happy September btw. we all know its my fav month of the year. ;)

. . .