Obsess - Pre Japan Trip

I've been neglecting my Japan trip research. 

I didn't do it on purpose. I was dead busy at the office since before puasa, and then raya lagi and now. I would love to tell you in details over this 'busy-ness' but I realized, it's a waste of time telling story about my ngaleh-ness to someone who doesn't understand what it's like to be working in a 'processing' office. 

So, yeah.

Let's move on.

Someone mentioned about how I never talked about the Japan trip anymore and that made me realized, I should start again.

because (I just check and almost freaked out!) Japan trip is 45 days to go.

Last night (Saturday 23rd July, Daniel Radcliffe birthday BTW), I was supposed to be planning my 'Countdown' posts but I got bored. 

at first, I did the research in between composing the Countdown post but after a while, I found out that, doing my itinerary is far more exciting than doing my 'Countdown' post hahahaha

(my Countdown post for throwback-to-24th-Jul-2014 was done the entire afternoon of Sunday, 24th)

So,

I was mostly reading reviews the entire time I was Googling.

I search about whether or not we should buy the JR Pass (train ticket)

• a colleague (who recently just got back from Japan) said, buying transportation passes on the go is alright too, especially when you already know where to go.
• from one of the reviews I read, JR pass is, like, taking-the-easy-way-out kinda tix.
• another review said I should do more research on transportation passes but they are certain that not buying the JR pass is an OK thing.

hmmm

• and just now I found another review that said JR pass is cheaper.

So, I used Google Map to check the train route (did you know this Google map is so awesome?! it shows the cost as well!) and when I calculate the individual train tix (just train tix, excluding subways and bus fares) the total is BND396 where as the 7days JRpass cost around BND378.

I know the difference here is BND18 saja. 

One review did say yg the JRpass doesn't cover all areas but the places that I'm going to have JRpass access to them (as far as my research goes lah ah).

this is so stressful.

stressful because I'm obsessing!

no wonder I gave this a rest when I did. 

coz, Imagine me being stress out over my work and then stressing out over this itinerary stuff - people will hate me! 

hahaha

I should sleep. 

and continue this tomorrow during lunch break

muahahaha!

. . .

no picture attached coz I duno what picture I should attach; me eating my hair or the map of Japan.

Struggle

you don't know real struggle

until you experience slow internet.

-_-"

I was trying to watch God of Egypt online.
it's a two hour movie.
I started at around 9pm and by 1:51am later, the movie is still not finish.





SERIOUSLY!

I can't really enjoy the movie with all the pausing and waiting.

I finally understand why this movie didn't 'air' in Brunei. 
also, the 'Beast' kurang labih usulnya dengan usul Sea of Monster from Percy Jackson.
the story was supposed to be the beginning of Egypt before the Pharoahs, so the story-line was interesting. 
I know the Egypt was considered awesome engineers but dalam this movie, the graphics were, mcm, telampau 'forward'. almost futuristic even. Still awesome plang. 

but like I said, I wasn't enjoying the movie much, so, A for effort.

and thank you internet for being the awesome-est.
a two hour movie became a five hour movie. 
fantastic.

. . .

(Pretend) Recital Practice

I'm not sure if I've always known this habit but;
I search lyrics for my current fav song and start to menghafal the song like I was going to perform it in front of a live audience, when I'm stressed/pressured/depressed/etc.

LOL

and it's great way of losing or letting out my anger.

thus, here's the new song that I've been practicing; Ailee's 한걸음 더.
the English translation is One Step Closer.

and this is the 5th Korean song that I took the time to 'hafal' the song by studying the Hangul lyrics.
in case you guys curious what's the other 4 songs are, let me list them down real quick;
1. BoA - No.1
2. SMTown - Dear My Family (I AM ost)
3. SMTown - Hope
4. So Hyang - Arirang Alone

No. 2 and 3 atu aku hafalkan konon nya kan sing-a-long time liat concert di Singapore few years back. hahaha 

I know, I'm like Kpop lover and cheese. There should be at least a SHINee song in that list, right? but honestly, I love the songs but still prefer Japanese song over Korean. Coz I can pronounce Japanese (reading the romanization of course, not the real Japanese character) better than I can with Korean. LOL! 

Anyhoo, 
Like I did with BoA's Close To Me, I'm going to share with you guys Ailee's 한걸음 더 lyrics here.
it's not mine, I took from a website via Google search.
Let's menghafal this song together now~~!

keep it together my child
울지 마 dry your eyes
더 이상 숨지 마
크게 소리쳐 봐 아픔을 외쳐 봐
뒤돌아 웃어 now
길이 없던 난 멀리 보이는
불빛으로 다가가고 싶은데
다가갈 수 없게
너무나 아픈데
무너져 버린 나를
희망으로 날 잡아준 건
시간이 지나면
괜찮아질 거라고
모두가 얘기해
조명이 켜지면 아무도 모르죠
슬픈 표정은 gone
잠겨 있었던 내 감정은 어디로
다가가고 싶은데
다가갈 수 없게
너무나 아픈데
무너져 버린 나를
희망으로 날 잡아준 건 너
나 포기하지 않을게
no no 또 하루를 보내
서로를 위해 한 걸음 더 가깝게
다가갈 수 있게 받아준 그 사람
어두웠던 내 맘에 사랑으로
날 밝혀준 건 너

and here's a audio video with the lyrics also, just so you know what the song sounds like xD



I had tears in my eyes the first time I heard this song. and I don't even know what it means at that time. ahahah 

. . .

a/n: I know I've been depressed with myself lately and I really don't know what to do with this anger. and yesterday, the last straw had been thrown my way and I am done. It's been long overdue and it's time to move on.

. . .

Football

Let me just state here that I am a 'verbal' supporter of Arsenal.

I never actually watch any of their matches. I tried but not even 10 mins and I changed the channel already. :P

So, when Kuch asked us to accompany her to watch her fiance play football, I was ...not feeling it. But I agreed to accompany her anyway for that was friends are for, right?

I planned on just being on my phone the entire game but as I sat there and the game began, I was like, 'I might as well watch'. and I did.

Now, I am not an expert. at all. but I kinda know a thing or two about football. and what do you know, I became so immersed in the game that it got me stressed. a fun kind of stress and it had me understand how other football supporters must've felt when they were watching a match. it was intense. the crowd was awesome (walaupun a tat bit offensive on my behalf), the cheering, the disappointment, the tension, the booing to the other team, these all add up to the fun. the unfairness of that referees though. Like, where the hell did they put their eyes on? I'm not saying the team that I was rooting on was any good but I'm bias towards si Kuch thus her fiance's team was a much better player than the other team. hahaha In conclusion, it was a stressful game but at the same time my stress reliever too. it's that Hot and Cold situation thing. I can't explain it. LOL

I was just glad I accepted her invitation. I had the most fun in a while for my Saturday night out. 
plus, Geng Keras was complete after like, two months?
It was nice seeing and laughing and 'cursing' with everybody. ahaha

 

Till the next game?
Although I think si Kuch was a bit embarrassed with us being 'over' reacting albeit supportive. hahaha sorry Kuch. we'll try to behave the next time you invite us. if ever. xD

A/N: first time kami 'hang out' drive kereta sendiri. keke

. . .

Emotions

Emotions run high today. or rather, kemarin.

It was the final day before the half-yearly bank closing etc plus we were all anxious about finishing our workload in fear that on Saturday would be the public holiday for Ramadhan.

Rude words were exchanged. Snide remarks shouted everywhere. Particularly from this woman from another unit. I admit that it was partly because of me being 'serious' to her. and when I was raising my voice to my juniors, 'the' woman screamed back to me. Well, she had her back at me but I knew it was meant for me. Macam, dude! Terasa plang di sana atu!
Panas lah hati ku. Malu pasal, luan jua inda betauliahnya bekeraja ani? I know tani satu department, tapi meneriaki cematu atu (walau cemana stress pun kau) kurang ajar bah tu. Besyukur ku kalau ku marah, aku prefer diam2 walaupun hati ku rasa kan teriak2. Satu, ko memalukn urg. Dua, ko memalukn diri sendiri.

Tapi lapas tu we were ok coz I asked her why she screamed so loud when I was raising my voice to my juniors. She said she couldn't remember why she screamed. I think, we both became adult there; eventhough kami tau what happened tapi we decided to let it go.

and then, I realised, in that place, we are all Dobby.

Yes, Dobby the HouseElf from Harry Potter series.
Why?
Because, We are slaved to the management. We hated them for being too cruel and even so we still love  our job (and that overcome the shitty environment). At certain point we also defended them because they are our 'master'.
Macam Dobby kn? Slaved, mastered but we love our job. (I mean, I love my job and my routine. I just hate the environment)
of course, we are not bound for life at BBB.
I could just walk away but I have commitments to take care of. bukan urg kaya kn sanang2 beranti bila 'had enough'.
If only...

Anyway, I just thought of a phrase; memang bulih meminta maaf and memaafkan. tapi hati kalau sudah tersinggung, sampai mati pun masih ingat. 
bak kata pepatah ong puteh, 'Forgive but Never Forget!'.

Yatah, kadang2, baik diam2. Kalau marah, jan luan ikut emosi and cakap suka2 hati or teriak suka2 hati. take a deep breath and think for a moment. Ingat, klu tani memalukan urg, bukn maruah urg sja gugur, meruah tani pun ikut gugur. Why? dah tani inda lagi terhormat kn urg, cemana urg kan hormat tani? Kan?

Ani untuk muhasabah diri ku jua. Kan aku ani pun pemental jua. tapi tujuh taun ku keraja, inda ku pernah meneriaki urg cematu. Sungguh kurang ajaran! Inda betauliah! Awu! sakit ati ku masih mengenangkannya. I know aku patut bersih kan hati pasal inda lagi batah Ramadhan tiba tapi..eh. adang tah. ada yg inda beraya karang taun ani. Hahaha ganas..

eh..baik tah..

. . .

Harry Potter.

I know

what you're thinking, 'Harry Potter sja jua anak ni".

Well, I can't help it, ok? Or maybe I can but I. Am. Weak.

LOL!

Since last month, I've been rereading my Harry Potter novels; Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince and the Deathly Hallows. 

Just now I finished the Philosopher's Stone.

and now I'm about to start with the Chamber of Secrets.

I don't know.

maybe I just feel like I need to do something at this moment. Well, I'm supposed to be doing something else but I'm demotivated. So, here I am, reminiscing the good books of JK Rowling.

or maybe, I just wana be taken away from the real world and into a fantasy. 

or maybe because it stops me from "over-thinking" for awhile.

So, I don't know. 

Reading helps.

a/n: it's saturday night and I'm being boring. *ketawa*

. . .

a lil stress

just. a. little.


just. a. little.

. . .