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Hi,

So, title. this post was prepared back in July 2019. I just procrastinated for far too long. So, i thought, let's get it over and done with. I'm in need to delete and clean my folder.

here goes...

Hmm how should I word this so that I don't offend people? 

🤔💭

Fuck it. I'm just gonna say it.

Ariana Grande. 

First saw: Nickelodean's Victorious. No, I didn't really watch the series but the ones that I happened to watch, I came across Cat (Ari's character) and thought, she's the best character in the entire series.

I also remember seeing one of her earlier music videos, very colorful, very musical/theater like, and thought, her voice is amazing. not to mention, my friend told me she's like Mariah Carey, bird voice. My respond to that claim? yeah. she could do bird voice.

Next, I don't know. her song Problem became a meme, "I got 99 problem, and you are not one of them" or something along that line. Personally, not a fan of that song.

and then onwards, I saw the EMAs on TV, not by choice, and came across this performance.



at the time, I thought, whoa, she got lungs! and thought it was a good performance.

I actually appreciate a couple more of her songs. or I heard them on the radio, thought it was a nice song, downloaded them, but when I listened again, nyeh.. it wasn't as the hype. So, I just left it there in my iTunes library, untick.

I have a couple of favorites;

1. One Last Time. I only ever watched the music video once and thought it was nice for once she wasn't wearing a 'swimming suit'.
2. Into You. 

Of course, she is a big name out there, every other time, I will learned that she releases new songs but many of those I'm not a fan of.

Fast forward end of last year, Nov/Dec 2018 (yes, I checked my files when I downloaded them LOL), I downloaded 3 Ariana songs; Thank u next, Breathin, and No Tears Left to Cry.
Thank U, Next was once in my top 25 songs.
You can see from my May 2019 top 25 that I untick this song.
that was becoz when I tried to watch the MV, I can't. It says its not available for my region? for some reason I got super offended. 
I wanted to watch becoz she was recreating some of my fav movies, Bring It On, Mean Girls, and Legally Blonde. I thought it'd be fun to watch.

I know I was influenced by a Korean media article with how I was feeling. The artivle was about how kfans was disappointed with how Ari was treating them during her concert there. don't quote me on this, it was something about not meeting VIP ticket holders or something. How she spent time in Japan but not in Korea. don't quote me on this.

I'm aware that she was traumatized by what happened to her in Manchester. I sympathized with her. I understand how you can be prejudiced over a certain race when you had been victimized by that certain race. again, don't quote me on this, I don't know the race of that terrorist. 

So, I'm offended becoz I'm asian?

Fast Forward again, July 2019. I watched a Spill video on youtube. and it involves Ariana and Kris Wu. I know I shouldn't but this Spill video proves my points in one way. Hell yeah I'm siding with Kris. former EXO member. "naega style, aniya" LOL had to put that here.

Anyway, here's some screenshots of the comments that I can relate with.

Comments are the best in every social media platform 👍. not trying to force things onto you but if you missed it, read again the part about English Speaking people. I feel that on so many levels.

Yeah, I know, this is so petty!
but doesn't stop me from no longer supporting her. I even made a playlist where I try to knock off Thank U Next from my top 25. LOL and i did manage to Knock it off in a day. I'm that dedicated.

🤣🤣🤣

Honestly, the songs I used to listen to are still nice to listen to today. but every time I heard her voice, I got really hurt. So, I make an executive decision to not listen to them anymore.

I am in no way denying her singing ability. but sometimes, it's so much more than that when you want to support someone's singing career. to me, at least.

I mean, come on. my unvoting her doesn't make any difference. She is still a big superstar.

So, yeah. 

🤷‍♀️


Just take this post as a Chapter Filler thing.

. . .

(Pretend) Recital Practice

I'm not sure if I've always known this habit but;
I search lyrics for my current fav song and start to menghafal the song like I was going to perform it in front of a live audience, when I'm stressed/pressured/depressed/etc.

LOL

and it's great way of losing or letting out my anger.

thus, here's the new song that I've been practicing; Ailee's 한걸음 더.
the English translation is One Step Closer.

and this is the 5th Korean song that I took the time to 'hafal' the song by studying the Hangul lyrics.
in case you guys curious what's the other 4 songs are, let me list them down real quick;
1. BoA - No.1
2. SMTown - Dear My Family (I AM ost)
3. SMTown - Hope
4. So Hyang - Arirang Alone

No. 2 and 3 atu aku hafalkan konon nya kan sing-a-long time liat concert di Singapore few years back. hahaha 

I know, I'm like Kpop lover and cheese. There should be at least a SHINee song in that list, right? but honestly, I love the songs but still prefer Japanese song over Korean. Coz I can pronounce Japanese (reading the romanization of course, not the real Japanese character) better than I can with Korean. LOL! 

Anyhoo, 
Like I did with BoA's Close To Me, I'm going to share with you guys Ailee's 한걸음 더 lyrics here.
it's not mine, I took from a website via Google search.
Let's menghafal this song together now~~!

keep it together my child
울지 마 dry your eyes
더 이상 숨지 마
크게 소리쳐 봐 아픔을 외쳐 봐
뒤돌아 웃어 now
길이 없던 난 멀리 보이는
불빛으로 다가가고 싶은데
다가갈 수 없게
너무나 아픈데
무너져 버린 나를
희망으로 날 잡아준 건
시간이 지나면
괜찮아질 거라고
모두가 얘기해
조명이 켜지면 아무도 모르죠
슬픈 표정은 gone
잠겨 있었던 내 감정은 어디로
다가가고 싶은데
다가갈 수 없게
너무나 아픈데
무너져 버린 나를
희망으로 날 잡아준 건 너
나 포기하지 않을게
no no 또 하루를 보내
서로를 위해 한 걸음 더 가깝게
다가갈 수 있게 받아준 그 사람
어두웠던 내 맘에 사랑으로
날 밝혀준 건 너

and here's a audio video with the lyrics also, just so you know what the song sounds like xD



I had tears in my eyes the first time I heard this song. and I don't even know what it means at that time. ahahah 

. . .

a/n: I know I've been depressed with myself lately and I really don't know what to do with this anger. and yesterday, the last straw had been thrown my way and I am done. It's been long overdue and it's time to move on.

. . .

Open Your Heart?

to open your mind is one thing.

to open your heart is another.

really, I am so trying to open both of them


but the heart is a little tough.


. . .