my Baby Blue

Hello

another SHINee post

but especially today, it will be about our beloved leader, Onew.

First mini album dropped on 5th Dec 2018.

Seven songs:

1 Blue

2 거리마다 (Your Scent)

3 동네 (Under The Starlight)

4 어떤 사이 (Sign)

6 온유하게 해요 (Shine On You)

5 사랑이었을까 (Illusion)

7 또각또각 (Timepiece)

Two written by Lee Jinki:

온유하게 해요 (Shine On You)

사랑이었을까 (Illusion)

One pun: 

온유하게 해요

LOL

Gotta love this smart ass babe.

apakan?

😂😂😂

Now let's enjoy his MV of his titled song, Blue.

I kinda expected him to sing this kind of song.

At first, i was like, "eh?" and then as I continue listening on, I kinda, chuckled? 😂
coz the style of the song reminds me of an old Malay song whose titled I don't know the name of 😄
내 스타일 아니야
🙊

the rest of the songs in the album are in his normal ballad style voice, so, major2 love for them all. 

Especially Shine On You 😏



the puns, people. the puns!

but as funny as the title goes, I actually cried at the end of the song. 
the final verse of the song;

Some believe this song Onew wrote for Jonghyun.

Sun is Onew, Moon is Jonghyun.

Onew said I love you and I cried back, "I love you too"
My emotional feeling was so riddikulus last night. Like, when I finally stopped crying, I wondered what was so sad for me to cry like that. LOL.

Actually, I know why.

I'll explain in another post (if I rajin wawawa)

I found a post explaining the meaning of the MV. Kinda far fetch, kinda not.

have a read;
(click to enlarge please)

You know what? No matter how much I want this to be a happy album, it really is not.

Onew is leaving (me) for the army. 
Even though I did read somewhere that he will share some audio updates whilst in the army, I don't think it will change the fact that this album is a goodbye.

His latest post is this;

yeah right

When I clicked the See Translation under his original post, it says, "Please be good in the future! :) thank you so much everyone" and it got me upset. 
it feels like that scene I once wrote in my story, "I just got you, and now you're leaving?" *cry me a river*

Currently listening to  어떤 사이 (Sign)



This one has a festive vibe to it. He really prepared us well, huh? *hmpf* 
for real tho, I like this song. like, I picture us dancing to this. kekeke
(this song better not be a sad song! No, malas ku cari translation 😅)


Can't you tell who my SHINee bias is?

LOL!


Here, let me share you the album;



Have a listen and tell me I'm not being bias. :P

It's a good album. You'll fall in love too.

. . .


A/N: *me in the middle of composing this post* I never learn. I should have just screenshot everything when I see it. You know, for blog post purposes. but nooooooooooo. I always thought I will find it when I need it when in reality, YOU WILL NOT FIND IT WHEN YOU NEED IT!

Extras:

Remember these?

here's a new version:

Next:

we already know he the Sold Out king

WellDone boys! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

caption FTW!! 💪💪

now: a proof.

remember how I was looking for it but didn't find it?

Today, I'm not looking for it

and

what do you know,

it appears!

Onew's imagined Song List for his solo.

(who ever edit this ish, come see me, I just wanna talk LOL)

Quotes time

I wrote on my FB status few days ago and goes;

I guess if you wanted to do it, you would've done it

then

There's a also a famous malay proverb:

Nak Hendak Seribu Daya, Tak Hendak Seribu Dalih.

and

Here comes the English's one;

When There's a Will, There's a Way

These three quotes or saying have been running thru my mind lately. 

When I posted that FB status, I was feeling done and accepting the situation I was in.
the next two was me trying to motivate myself.

*shrug*
I don't wana go back to how I was few months back but people disappoint.

. . .

Youtube 2.016

So, I was watching some 5-minute-make-up tutorial on youtube last night (not that I'm gonna be using it. I was just 'nosy' xP)

and tau-tau

I came across and watched these videos 

(thats why kena recommended to me today on my home page)

videos about removing ingrown hair on skin (on every part of your body) and removing white-heads/acne prevention on your face, etc.

they're disgusting, I know but somehow VERY satisfying!

and when you read the comments on each video, you'll find that I am not the only one yg feel that way. Some even find peace in watching them!

I've always have white-heads problems on my face and I've been obsessing over doing my own 'facial' every other night. 

*whispers : that's why I seldom post selfie, coz my face full of 'pilat' or scars. hahahah

I need to stop watching these videos coz if I continue, I might not be able to 'beraya' once I do my 'facial'

. . .

Luna씨

안녕

this post is like, a month old but that's an exaggeration.
xP

Luna's first mini album.

I have to admit, my initial reaction to Luna's first mini album being techno-ish is bad for promoting her vocal, is complete BS.
coz even from Free Somebody, her vocal just shown thru.
shows how you should never judge SM's better judgement. (aside from JYJ, Hangeng, Kris, Luhan, Tao cases)

anyhoo...
I've forgotten what song I like, besides Free Somebody, from this album.

hmm..

let me share one live performance video first:



isn't she perfection? *mata berLove2*

also, I just found out.
Luna was cast base on her dance skill rather than her singing skill.
I was so shocked when I found out about this.
Like,
are you sure?!
coz her voice is just ..bom! and she's the main lead vocalist in f(x).
are you sure??!!

but then, I'm over my shock and thought, 'no wonder her dancing was always on point' *nod nod in realization*

moving forward~

in her mini album, she has six songs and an equal balance of ballad and up beat songs.

I think I like her Galaxy song.



its almost the same sound as Free Somebody now that I listened to it again for the umptime.

but of course, her promotion was short lived as SM decided to release EXO new album soon after hers. like, we all know where everybody else is going when EXO made an appearance. BUT it was a good released for Luna while it last.

Well done, Luna-ssi! Good Job!

maybe next time SM would think about giving their other artist an equal amount of promoting period.

. . .

April Bunny

I don't know when Easter actually is but I bought easter chocolates


yum!

March is over and I only posted like 4 stories? tsk ᇂﮌᇂ)
but I promise you, my real life is much more productive than that. (^Ｏ^)

1. the March Challenge, created by Esma, I finally finished them.



2. I've been busy fangirling over the Decendant of the Sun drama. and is up to date to episode 11 (coz currently I'm downloading sub-ep 12)



I know I said this before but really, I started this with Onew in mind but (sorry baby!) Onew is not even my secondary fav in the drama! my second fav(s) are the DeaYoung-MyeonJu army couple and the SangHyun-JaAe doctor couple. 

I was thinking last night, Onew did very well for someone who appear 'sekajab-sekajab' in this drama. and in a non-bias opinion, he really is doing a good job. you have to remember, he starred in two musical theaters before, he made an apperance as an apprentice for like 3 mins in that one drama (anu, arah final episode lagi tu LOL) before and he has been in the music industry for 7 years now. So, he is not really new in front of the camera. You have to give him credit.
and his ChiHoon character was clearly made base on his real character and like that teacher from HSM (High School Musical) once said, "playing yourself is a lot harder than playing others' character". . . .
Ok fine! I sound like I'm proctecting Onew but thats what I've been thinking bout his acting.


3. life at work is recently tough. I'm a very short-tempered person as it is and trying not to be is a real struggle. I lost it yesterday and as sorry as I felt, I strongly believe that there's two sides of a story and mine was 'I don't act up for nothing'. meaning, if you didn't start it, I won't be acting the way I did.
but yesterday also help me think back of how things used to be and I certainly don't wanna go back to that. So, lucky I'm on leave today and I could cool down before I start again on Monday.

4. its160 days to go for my Japan trip. 
at least this will motivate me to stay sane.
this is considered as productive becoz lets face it, real life struggle is always a productivity.

5. I slept for more than 10 hours! if thats not productive in this life time, I don't know what is.

and last but not least,
live life today, deal with tomorrow when comes!
ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ


. . .

hello March

15 days have come and gone.

and it didn't even bother me that I didn't post anything on this site for so long.

It's been very hectic since the beginning of the month and I've been wanting to cry for few days now but I didn't get the chance to. I'm that busy!
Something else happened too but I don't want to go over that again. My head hurts trying to re-tell the story again and again and again. I just hope it will be resolve soon or I go crazy. ಸ_ಸ

on a brighter note, I've been watching this new kdrama, Descendant of the Sun.
and thank Onew for being in it. 
and Song Joong Ki has nice abs! 
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


I could share topless SongJoongKi but too lazy kan Google for abs right now. 

Invisible audience: *gasp* when did you ever get tired Googling for abs?!
Me: *gasp more dramatically* OMG ((((゜д゜)))

(-＿- )ノ
I told you, I'm tired.
they only play this on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

so the rest of the other nights, I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S

( Ok, i took these from Google :B )

and they made me laugh and feel light headed. 
That's a good thing for me to get away from the real world.

anyway,
I was rereading some old posts and  i noticed how passionate I am about writing.
and it blew my mind when I realized why I never really make it my 'When I grow up, I wanna be' thing. 
I feel silly when I thought about how I told people that my biggest dream was to become 
a singer.
Not that it wouldn't be awesome and I do love to sing but I think I daydream a lot and imagining scenarios in my head too much to become a singer.
I think my biggest dream is to become a writer.
I like writing stories (or if you feel fancy, you can call it 'FanFic'). it's just, 
I'm lazy af.
and I'm not even joking about that last sentence.

maybe I should try writing a story again. i did leave a story hangin on asianfanfics. and it's been a long time since i open My Fanfics folder (or Didn't have the interest to open up the folder more like). oorrrr I don't know, do something about it.

IF I have the energy to.
right now, all i can think about is sleep and deal with a new day tomorrow.
macam pigi ke Battle bah aku kan keraja ani. 
and I'm so tired!
I know, keraja apa jua yg inda tired, kn? 
but, really, I am.
Mentally tired.

I really need to get a new job.

. . .

This is Me

I've been trying to post something positive or something kpop but it's kinda hard, especially when your real life (outside this virtual world) is soooo negative.

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ

I should mention that I am trying not to be so negative, not to be angry all the time and most importantly, trying not to lose myself.

It has been pointed out to me that I wasn't the same person as I was before. 

hmm...

Initially, I was shocked and upset finding that out coz it sounded like a bad thing coming out from the 'pointer's' mouth.
but being me, I over think it. 
Of course I'm not the same person as I was before!
I'm a living thing, I evolve!
Egg.

I guess the pointer only meant that I no longer follow their wishes.
Before, I used to just do what I was told coz I was afraid of being 'frown upon' which ended up me being bullied into doing other people's job too.
but now that I built up my own confidence, I questioned everything before I do what I was told to do.

It has also been pointed out to me that I've been watched and turned out, I have quite the temper.

Surprise.

They told me that I have an attitude problem. they even put that on my appraisal.

Lovely.

I wanted to be honest and say that I don't have an attitude problem but God knows I do, so, yeah, I have an attitude problem. 
the question is, why? Coz if they've been watching me, they should know that I don't just act up out of no where.

They asked me all the right questions plang but what really ticked me off is that they already know the answer but still want me to say it out loud.
Not that I have any problem on speaking my mind out loud, i just thought that it isn't fair that I'm being singled out and be the bad person alone.
Since they already know the real problem, why not address the 'problem' instead of trying to 'fix' my attitude because of that problem? 
I am channeling Ginny right now and will call this Problem, from today onward, Phlegm.

Seriously, when I'm not focusing on these silliness, I'm ok. my temper only raises when I think about it.
So, I'm gonna leave this here and hoping someone from the office will read this and do something about it.
Yes, issue dari office. 
hahahah
So much for being discreet.
my foot.

Anyway, they said they've been watching me kan? They should also see that temper-mental or not, I still do my job well. Not excellent but at least still exceed their expectation. 
but being the bias person that they are, I'm sure they didn't see that good side of me, only the bad one for them to use against me.

and to that I say,

☉▵☉凸

and have a nice life.

my ability to 'lead' was also brought into question. and all I can think about right now is Dumbledore.
Just because we don't hold higher position, that doesn't mean that we are not right.

I remember saying, "maybe they had forgotten what it was like down here" not exactly in that words but same meaning.

sigh.

I know it's time to go. It's not even worth it anymore.

Yaayyerrrr

I finally caught up with my August Challenge 
and just in time too.

D27: Comic

who doesn't read Doraemon when they were young? I know someone who still reads them to this day. v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ

D28: A Memory

this was that one memory that I could not really remember other than it's a very funny one. Zoey and Kuch would remembered. We laughed so hard at that time.

Another thing yg I remembered was I wanted to be sick so bad!

(and I did get sick the next day LOL!)

To those who do not know; when you combine Durian with any carbonated drinks it makes your stomach grumble and for me it made me had a 'homemade' diarrhea. 

LOL!!! x10!!!!

D29: Embarrassing Moment

well.. I don't like reliving my most embarrassing moment. it usually resurfaces when I was about to fall to sleep. I'm telling you, it wasn't a pleasant feelings. So, for me to try and draw those moments is really a big nonononononononononononono (x infinity)

D30: Loved Ones

It's not really a 'enough said' coz nothing is ever gona be 'enough said' for the ones you love.

D31: Banner to Congratulate yourself for being able to complete this challenge

YAYYER! ♪┏ ( ･o･) ┛♪┗ (･o･ ) ┓♪┏(･o･)┛♪

the lightness I feel in my heart and in my head when I finally finished that banner.

Thank you for a fulfilling August, Esma. you awesome! thank you for this. it has been awhile since I last had a goal to achieve. So, with this finish, I feel happy. and of course, relief. hahahah

maybe in September I can concentrate with my Shoot Straight story?

. . .