This is Me

I've been trying to post something positive or something kpop but it's kinda hard, especially when your real life (outside this virtual world) is soooo negative.

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ

I should mention that I am trying not to be so negative, not to be angry all the time and most importantly, trying not to lose myself.

It has been pointed out to me that I wasn't the same person as I was before. 

hmm...

Initially, I was shocked and upset finding that out coz it sounded like a bad thing coming out from the 'pointer's' mouth.
but being me, I over think it. 
Of course I'm not the same person as I was before!
I'm a living thing, I evolve!
Egg.

I guess the pointer only meant that I no longer follow their wishes.
Before, I used to just do what I was told coz I was afraid of being 'frown upon' which ended up me being bullied into doing other people's job too.
but now that I built up my own confidence, I questioned everything before I do what I was told to do.

It has also been pointed out to me that I've been watched and turned out, I have quite the temper.

Surprise.

They told me that I have an attitude problem. they even put that on my appraisal.

Lovely.

I wanted to be honest and say that I don't have an attitude problem but God knows I do, so, yeah, I have an attitude problem. 
the question is, why? Coz if they've been watching me, they should know that I don't just act up out of no where.

They asked me all the right questions plang but what really ticked me off is that they already know the answer but still want me to say it out loud.
Not that I have any problem on speaking my mind out loud, i just thought that it isn't fair that I'm being singled out and be the bad person alone.
Since they already know the real problem, why not address the 'problem' instead of trying to 'fix' my attitude because of that problem? 
I am channeling Ginny right now and will call this Problem, from today onward, Phlegm.

Seriously, when I'm not focusing on these silliness, I'm ok. my temper only raises when I think about it.
So, I'm gonna leave this here and hoping someone from the office will read this and do something about it.
Yes, issue dari office. 
hahahah
So much for being discreet.
my foot.

Anyway, they said they've been watching me kan? They should also see that temper-mental or not, I still do my job well. Not excellent but at least still exceed their expectation. 
but being the bias person that they are, I'm sure they didn't see that good side of me, only the bad one for them to use against me.

and to that I say,

☉▵☉凸

and have a nice life.

my ability to 'lead' was also brought into question. and all I can think about right now is Dumbledore.
Just because we don't hold higher position, that doesn't mean that we are not right.

I remember saying, "maybe they had forgotten what it was like down here" not exactly in that words but same meaning.

sigh.

I know it's time to go. It's not even worth it anymore.

sci2 BBQ hang outz

Hello again. xD

last Sunday, sci2 people went out for an outing; BBQ at Pantai Simpanan Berakas.

and as always, those who came were those yg memang selalu attend (Hanif, Rahmat, Hasrin, Zawir, ME, Iqral, Buzz, Azhar, Edy n Beah, Aliff, Aziz) plus Syima and Fatin;

Obviously Rasyid was not there (only via Whatapps. ahaha) and two other people were missing too but i'll get back to that at the end of this post ;)

the things we did:

• we (of course) mostly eat and chat. 

• played cards (UNO and some other card 'games' that Fatin encountered when she was studying in KL. I wasn't always there playing with them but from what I heard, she changed game everytime she loses. LOL that girl). 

• went down to the beach, I mean, sudah di sana atu jua kan. ( I went down twice and got sunburned. -___- I don't remember that it stings)

It was nice catching up with everybody. and I realized that it had been years since we left high school. everybody's all grown up now. *tears* hahaha mcm apa~ but really, catching with your oldest of friends made you realise of where you came from and what you wana be from now onwards.

Thank You for always keeping my feet on the ground guys. We may not see each other often but I hope we stay in contact for more years to come and not be awkward at some point.

Let's plan on another gathering, yes? Sungkai Out perhaps?

and in regards about the two people (yg selalu nya hadir) missing; Amirah and Amal K, it was because... jeng jeng jeng..  

Amal K got engaged. she looked so prettyyy~~ cMyra yg took the picture above. that was how I know and understand why both of them couldn't make it. 
at first I was hesitating to post it here but then I realize, barang baik, apa kan tapuk2? and cMyra and herself did post arah Instagram, so I guess, it's ok lah kn for me to post it here too? hehe (since inda jua beribu urg membca blog ku ani :P) So, Congratz Mal. ;)

. . .