Having a Guy Friend

I used to have a couple more guy friends (other than my old classmates from high school) through out the years.

but now, noted the 'used to'? 
Yeah
I didn't type that wrong.

I distanced myself from them because they have a girlfriend and she is jealous AF.
or as some Bruneian love to say, "Penjeles Kan Mati".

I understand pulang. I understand how they feel. Aku kan perempuan jua.
But I hope these 'ladies' also understand the reason I stayed away was because aku menjaga hati durang supaya inda 'continue' kan jeles-jeles lagi. 
Not because i Have feelings for your boyfriend.
I am usually a neutral person, yg when a guy friend ada girlfriend and he brings her to our group outing, I usually treat her like she's one of us too. 
but these ladies usually maintain a cool facade and i think i'm not that dumb to not take a hint. like, awu, boyfriend mu, ambil chia~~

Now these couples are married and I think I was blocked from the guys' IGs too. 

I just feel sorry that our friendship ended that way.

But seriously guys, it's not you, it's your wife.

hahaha

take a chill pill.

Maybe it's because aku single kali. maybe I, somehow, mengeluarkan aura 'desperate' for a husband or something that makes them think that I'm after their partners.

Are you for real?

Yes, of course I wana get married too and have a husband but woman, I am not that desperate. Banyak lagi lelaki Korea for me to pick from; example, SHINee has 5 member I could choose out from. *ketawa gulik-gulik pasal pakai example lelaki Korea*

So, to my other guy friends yg girlfriends durang are my another extension of friends, you guys punya girlfriends are the awesome-st kerana memahami erti persahabatan (or dalam bahasa Inggeris nya: for understanding the meaning of friendship).

and just a little foot note: When I like a guy (like a crush or something), I can hardly utter a single word in front of him. So, if you see/hear me chatting away lively and/or enthusiastically, that is not it.

to those who think that this post is somewhat insensitive and thought "She's single. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Wait till she's in their shoes" well, maybe you are right. but why don't you give it a thought or two; how do you live with such insecurities? how do you live without trust? If that was the case, shouldn't you be single?

. . .

See this hunk?

Yeah, it's him I want.

You and your protective ass can chill.

. . .

Collections cShawol

Shawol at Heart lah kononnya.

So, been trying to collect SHINee World Theme Color; I don't know which one but Pearl Aqua Green/Pearl Aqua. sekali imbas, If i want to be a boy, dua2 light-blue-towards-greenish-color plang tu. LOL

read this article here, very interesting read. and she was right, SHINee never called their Shawol by colors like how Super Junior often called ELF, 'Sapphire Blue'.

So, my collection so far are these four items; Phone Casing, Ruler (yes, a ruler. Don't ask. obsess fan alert) and a name tag/pin. 

eh. salah picture. (esen ku, aku kn show off gambar future husband ku wawawawa)

see below please

wait, just three?? Pandai mengira inda cAz ani? LOL! Three it is! 

I hope to expand this collections. maybe turned it into my favorite color one day!

Well, inda lah kali but who knows man. Maybe if I bought enough stuff in that color, maybe it will become my favs. xD we'll see.

Next one I want to be is that Light Stick. the one from Japan Arena Tour. 

harga ebay and harga arah kadai dMall atu kurang labih jua. I hope alum akan bali. :S

. . .

Sayang jua

that title has two meaning;

1) Sayang jua kan dimakan. Pulang th lagi payah kn belurih.

2) Sayang jua dibali inda dimakan. bekulat saja.

LOL

pasal Popcake ku lahhhh..

but as mentioned in no.2, ahernya ku makan jua. 

Lurus tah nya cMarinda from Lizzie McGuire, 'Take a Picture! It will last longer!!'

and took a picture I did. LOL! oba~ ani abis dh stock ku. *tears* sia2pun..

mudahan th ada ya jual 'in stock' time2 posa ani.


. . .

Why?

Most of the time, I'm not even sure who am I doing this for?

Is it really for me? 

or for whom ever that I'm supposed to prove myself to?

I've always thought, when I'm older, I'd be certain about alot of other things but I guess we are forever the student of life. 
because no matter what you've learned last year or the year before that, you just don't have a clue. or you do have a clue but too stubborn to change your ways.

and why am I so angry all the time? and bitter? why?

I've consulted myself, saying, I'm worth the while. No matter how much I've lagged behind,  I am worth something. 

So, why do I feel like I'm worthless? why do I feel like I'm not good enough?

Am I doing this wrong? Niat tu salah kh?

I just want to know. 

I know and very well adapted to 'everything happened for a reason' concept.  but didn't you wish, even once, that you know what those reasons are?

. . .

xD Hi

Hi people.

first off, SELAMAT HARI RAYA! 

I know, it's almost the end of week 2 of Hari Raya and in all honesty, habis dah kami berhari raya disini ni.

but seeing as I have not been posting anything since..well, forever, so might as well greet.

xD

my Hari Raya was hectic. i've been berhari raya-ing the entire first week of Raya (like, there's no next week or something lol) even came close to being scolded for membawa anak dara urg until 2:30++am beraya. ahaha ah well, bulan Raya ni, bulan bermaaf2an jua kn?

Anyhoo...

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

p/s: who ever said that you won't make the same mistake again?

. . .