My Allergy

hi guys.

Updates.

My allergic reaction to cats.

back story:
Ever since I was little, We, as a family, have always had cats; house cats, stray cats outside, etc. 
In my teenage years, I began having this sneezing fit whenever I pet/hugged/played with cats
BUT the reaction subsides after I washed/blew my nose. I'll have blocked nose for awhile but in the end, I'll be fine and I even slept in one bed with the cats. it's like, I became immune.
At one point (the point when we had two house cats), my mom started saying, "Ko ani allergic kucing kali" coz this sneezing fit happened almost every time I played with cats. I blatantly stopped my mom by saying, "apa plang allergic yg dari damit (aku) tinggal sama kucing". and that was that of that conversation.

Fast forward:
by this point we have lived at our new home for 5 years and for that duration, our previously house cats have been living in their own house outside of our house (properly sheltered and comforted, don't worry). Meaning, I have never stayed in one room with any cats for longer than 15 minutes top. Sometimes I don't even see them for a whole day. Mind you, these are family aka my mom's cats, sooo she see/baby-ed them more often than I do.
anyway,
my sneezing fit reaction still exists but the moment I get away from their place, it usually stops. and that was that.


1st major incident.
I was at my sister's house. she has a house cat named Tiger. 

LOOK AT HIM!

I used to house-sit her house whenever they go vacation. and of course, sneezing fit will occur but after I do my clean-nose-under-running-water-wash-face-wash-hand routine, it'll stop. as always.
but for some reason, earlier this month, when I went to her house to hang out, my sneezing fit became a little severe? and all I did was pet si Tiger macam biasa kalau aku ke rumah durang. Like, what gives?
No matter how many times I blew my nose and washed it, the sneezing won't stop. I soon developed a blocked nose, headache and my upper teeth felt like it was about to fall off.
I knew it was the cat and I knew if the usual clean up routine didn't work, the best thing to do is to take myself out of that environment. So, I left my sister's house unusually early.
It was like I had a common cold. hence, when I get home, I took Panadol ActiFast before going to bed.
I was fine the next day.


2nd Major incident.
happened just last Monday at Zawir's. LOL
It was a mini birthday celebration for the sister. and I was invited.
as I arrived, the mom introduced their house cat to me.
The moment the cat was shown to me, I started having itchy nose and soon enough, my sneezing fit arrived. but that didn't stop me from playing with the cat! Like, it's so ranik and easily entertain, like, you have to play with it.

IMAGE NOT MINE

but the cat look similar to the real thing tho

The whole time, I tried to mask the irritation. LOL fail tho. Zawir thought it was the airconditioning. It was not bro. It was the cat.
Despite the reaction, I actually stayed sampai pukul 7 malam. hashtag stubborn. coz I really thought it would go away. Guess who is wrong~~? 
but really by that time, I really cannot tahan the feeling of my upper teeth about to fall off. So, sis balik.
When I arrived home, my eyes felt 'thick' and when I looked in the mirror, they were slightly puffy (no picture guys, you gotta take my word for it). I quickly clean up and eat my trusty Panadol ActiFast and within the next couple of hours, the symptoms subsides. except the blocked nose. that one took longer.
but unlike last time, the next day, I still have runny nose. my only worry now is people might be suspicious of me, what's with the corona virus issue and all. 

In conclusion, I declared myself allergic to cats now. Like, REALLY allergic to cats now. Dulu, bulih lagi ku cuba clean my nose and get myself ammune but I can no longer do that. Hashtag Faktur Umurrrrr.
I still love cats tho. I will still pet them. or gumas2. or param2. or pirik2. LOL I mean, cats have been with me my entire life! I can't just be without cats! don't be ridikulus.
Paksa belimit saja lah from now on.

BUT WHY THO?!

WHY NOW?

. . .

2019: A Year of Change

for some reason, this was in the draft section since 10th Mar 2019 and was empty.

hmmm

Hi guys.

we are now in June 2019! half way thru the year already. wow. time flies.

So, as mentioned, this draft was left empty since 10th Mar 2019. I checked thru my draft notes in my laptop and found one notes that was dated 10 Mar too. It was obviously raw and not suitable for direct posting. I might hurt a few hearts. but do I really care? muahahah 

I actually still care, hence, the edited version below.

Here go:

composed on 10th Mar 2019.

Hello everyone and anyone.

I know, I abandoned this page for so long.

I even almost not come back at all. 

but here I am.

I really don't know why I should continue to be here. It's not like my life depended on it.

I guess I'm just not ready to part ways from this part of my old life.


Blogging had been my life since forever. I think I started when I was 15? Back when Friendster was a thing. LOL Friendster had a blog feature where your friends got notification whenever you posted something and when I finally switched to Blogspot, none of my readers came along with me. 

it demotivated me a little bit but I still continued to post. soon after, friends started making their own blog and we shared/exchanged stories and comments.

As we grew as an individual, I guess people grew out of blogging too. Except me. I'm still here, as if holding up the fort.

more years passed and I mentioned a lot in my posts on how me too no longer 'feeling it'.

Am I grown?

or

Am I tired of holding the fort?

Maybe I am.

I turned 31 last year. I'll be 32 this year. For some reason, that hit me hard.

at first, I thought it was becoz I thought I lagged behind everybody. Thirty One years Old and still the same old me; achieving only in growing old, stuck in the same old routine year after year.

You would think, someone who read a lot like myself wouldn't have such negative thoughts. 
You thought wrong.
I used to tell people how I'm a self-motivated person. I began believing in it too. 
Until I realized how tiring that ish was (still is).
Your mind is spent and your heart is heavy, do you have any idea how hard it is to stay motivated/positive during that phase?
I also used to think that I was strong mentally and physically.
boy, was I mistaken. LOL
Well, maybe I am strong both mentally and physically or I wouldn't be here talking about this right now.

Realizing all this and accepting that my life has come to this, I decided to let go on a lot of things.

They say it's never too late to push reset and start over.

So, for the past six months I've been working on my well being;
1. Me is enough
2. Me matter
3. I can't change the world overnight. so chill.
4. Stop worrying about what others think of me.
5. Control my emotion especially at work (coz GOD know I have a problem in that ish place LOL)
6. my self improvement is important.

And something happened on my 7th month.

I've worked hard for this mindset and soul to be at peace and for me to fall back into the me from 6 months ago is such a waste of time. 
To fall back to the same routine/dark-mindset all over again? I don't have the capacity in my mind and in my soul for such burden anymore.
I used to think "let's just follow the flow" but I don't want to be that easy anymore.
I wanna work hard towards a new goal in life. Especially with my life. I'm important too. 
I have the obligation to better myself before I can worry about other people.

I really don't want to go back to 6 months ago. I can't and I refuse. I am only going to focus on moving forward.


Wow! I was so deep back in March. LOL wow.
I surprise myself too most of the time. Every time I read back my old thoughts, I'm impressed on how well I write/type. HAHAHAH and now back to the present.

Like, I said, the above is filtered for 'tayangan umum'. There were two more pages of thoughts but I don't think it's quite relevant for today's title.

I don't think I planned that post as a New Year Resolution coz I hate that term: 'Resolution'. who started that ish? I think i just want to say that I'm trying to change my life routine and be selfish for once. obviously old habit die hard; I can't just be completely selfish. but I'm gonna try.

Have you ever feel or felt this way before? How did you overcome or deal with yours? Share your thoughts down in the comment box.

if you read up till here, you the real MVP. and thank you.

See you in the next post.

ciao~

. . .

Guess who's Back?

Hi guys

I am late! 

I was supposed to post something on April 1st but I was just not rajin enough to on my laptop to do so.

Thus, here I am, April 7th.

Tomorrow's gonna be a touchy day and being me, I might forgot about it. So, that's a good thing.

I've been trying to read again.

I got thru a few chapters of Patrick Ness - More Than This.
up till chapter two, the story line reminds me of Constantine, the movie, where Keanu was in the parallel hell world scene. 
currently my book mark is in chapter three.

I also got thru a few couple of chapters on AFF; 
a story by Peanutbuttercup, called Water Lily. Click here if you are interested to read them. I'm not sure if you have to log in to read that but give it a try. ;) I don't call her story 'a fanfic' becoz her style of writing is beyond that. She's an awesome writer. So go and check it out, tell her Vengeance sent you xD

Usually, when I started reading, I become so in my bubble. 
and apparently that is bad for the society.

*mata ke atas*

but society can suck it

coz at the end of the day, I'm gonna have to take care of myself.

Also,

I've been trying to write.
I've wrote (checked Word)
*ketawa dulu*
hahahahaha
I must've love the number two. coz, I wrote two chapters baru. 
hahaha
it's still stagnant in chapter three. :P

I wanted to write and read again and I have this notion; I should just 'start'.
no matter how little the progress is, it is still a progress.

I wana feel like I have something more to do with my life after work.

I don't want to always feel like I need to go home just to scroll thru all my social media on my phone.

There has to be more.

I wanted more.

I just typed 'hope I will be myself again' and deleted it.

It made me wonder, 

who am I?

Coz I don't really know anymore.

I've been reading quotes where they say "it is ok if you are not who you are a year ago. becoz that's just mean, you are growing"
but
there's also this scene from Khloe's Revenge Body episode where a participant was trying to be his old self again coz the he now is so withdrawn from the world and became anti-social.

So, is the me now better or not?
I feel like I'm not better.
I feel so stagnant like my third Chapter. 
I feel like, I need to be my old self back to move forward.

The old me usually have so much to do during the night that doesn't involve scrolling thru social media on her phone.
Some nights, she would write. another night, she would read. other nights, she would try and do some fancy DIY on her journal.

that's the me that I wanted to be again.

I just want to have that creative momentum going again.

coz the me now is not really feeling good on the inside.

. . .

Brilliant Idea

Hello everyone!
It's me, Az Nuur.

I just had this brilliant idea that I wana do for the rest of my posts this year;

doing a 'throw back' post until the 6th Dec 2016!

Why, you might ask? Why on the 6th?

Well, if you didn't know, that was the day I created this blogspot account.

the idea came when I was 'calculating' (using calculator of course *roll eyes* working in a bank does not guarantee your excellence to do math in your head) how many posts i should post for the remaining months left in 2016 so that I could have 1000th post by end of this year.

So, I went thru my 'archives' and found out when I created this account (on the 6th Dec 2008!) but I was not active until Mar 2009. you can go check the validity of my story on the right *points to the right corner of this blog page*

SEKALI!

teklik tah ku!

why not I do

Countdown To 1000th sempena my 8th anniversary with blogspot

*throws confetti*

I'm not gona repost any of my old post. I'm mostly gona highlight them, you know, like those throw back thursday kinda thing. (or was it Throw Back Sundays?)

I'm still gona be posting my normal blog updates.

this brilliant idea is mostly to motivate me to post more.
and a reason to use my surpluses of Planner I got from last years
and maybe (JUST MAYBE) I can start to 'manage' my life better while doing stuff that i jot down
instead of procrastinating stuff n shit
OR instead of forever lazying around

yeah, those are good enough reason for me to end this post and start 'planning'

LET'S DO THIS!

I believe congratulation is in order

Hellew~

as mentioned in my last post, one of my closest of friend got married!!

Congratulation bebeh! 
Sorry I wasn't as involve as a bestie should be. 
BUT alhamdulillah everything berjalan dengan lancar (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

here's a few pictures taken during her acara;

Malam Bebadak 

must have picture: bapa pengantin is a Shawol ＼(^-^)／

 Nikah Day. 

and aku baru realized aku nada gambar time durang bebasuh kaki ਉ_ਉ

Sanding Reception at Faliq's side.

here's a bonus picture;

time bebadak punya 'door' gifts.

I heart them! ♥‿♥

Mula2 aku kana bagi warna purple (which is still my fav color, don't get me wrong) but since aku nmpk warna SHINee atu, aku (shamelessly) minta tukar. hahaha

but the perks of being the bestie of the pengantin, udah kan balik atu, I asked for each of the color. KEKEKEKE 

No hating please.

Here's where I put my pretty ornaments (actually filled with boiled egg xD)

kekeke

>‿‿◕

Once again, Tahniah and Selamat Pengantin Baru to you, Kuching (whose real name is really Liyana hehe) and Husband, Faliq. Semoga berkekalan (as per most Bruneian often posted) "until Jannah". Aminn~~

. . .

Day 6 Challenge; Fave Quote

I actually have many but this one has the most meaning to me. Beside the fact that it was actually Brian's (once a member of the boyband, Westlife) life motto. v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ

. . .

It hits. Hard

It suddenly dawn on me that, probably this time next year, I won't be hearing anymore reciting of the Surah during Tarawih time.

It saddened me. 

I've been living right besides a mosque for half of my life (most probably more) and my feel for Ramadhan and Syawal depended so much on hearing reciting of Surah during Tarawih and the Takbir when Syawal comes.

Sigh. 

I guess this is the part where I should follow this quote; Live life today, deals with tomorrow when it comes.

Masa, insyaAllah, masih panjang. I still have like more or less a year to not worry about my feel just yet.
Enjoy the moment. 

Besides, it's not like masjid jauh jua dari rumah baru atu. Well, not as close as the one we have now but yeah..maybe it'd be more festive there who knows.

. . .

iOS7

it's pretty.

you can now use a whole picture for wallpapers instead of just (square).


(bila jua muka urg lain? wawawawa cHengsem~)


i like the way i can delete used applications by sliding them upwards (like what had been shown in iOS7 videos).

ada satu lah yg aku suka sangat; features for media player.

love the changes.

 
 



previously, klu phone terlock while listening to music, you have to double click the Home button to go 'back', 'play', 'next' a song or minimize/maximize volume.


(inda be-service tipun ku ah. LOL!)

Now, if your phone terlock while listening to music and then you feel like next-ing your song, you can just click the Home button once and alot of those player thingys appear. the whole shananigans!





and also, those notification pop ups, dulu, if tons of notifications pops up at once, once you unlock the phone, you go straight to the latest one yg berbunyi. 
Now, you can choose which notification you want to open first. (slide right to open..)

there are alot other new features (of course) but the above are the only one that really matter to me. (wawawa..ngaleh ku kn menghujah kn the differences between the new and the old...)

i hope this one stays longer. coz seriously, new things made me nervous.


. . .

maybe I'm just scared

I realized, I've been taking the easy way out for every decision that I've made.

I have to be more berani, bold and be more like Minho.


(since, you know, he'll all about being competitive and see failure as a big NO NO and whatnot) wawawawa


but seriously, this taking-the-easy-way-out-attitude has got to end. Now.

maybe I'm just scared.

. . .

Everybody's Changing...

Everybody's changing, kata cKeane.

I guess, change is inevitable.

Changes happen without you realizing it.

Most of the time without you wanting it.