Out of boredom

and laziness.

I went shopping yesterday for new Silver marker (coz the one I had was faulty), and as always, I ended up buying more than just a Silver marker.
I bought these too.

I bought the green ones back when I was doing the August Doodle Challenge (but never actually use it for the challenge).
and now I wonder what I should be doing with them. I still have plenty of kiddies marker pens to choose from, not to mention my Sharpies too.

So what I did today was to color my Ariel. 

I printed the 'coloring' image from the internet (found it on Goodle search).

I know, very sloppy. LOL. well, I'm no professional.

I don't know where this 'coloring' craze came from.
maybe it's from what I've been seeing on IG's explores page; people been posting colored pages from that famous coloring book. I don't know where it originally came from but I know I first saw the thing from Key's IG post few months back. and the written letters were in Korean.

Now, I saw these coloring books at our local bookstore too. Only it's in English. Although I considered it cheap, I haven't got around to buy them. I'm scared that this phase I'm in is only temporary. besides, I am such a lazy person that even if I thought of it, I usually ended up not doing it. LOL

anyway,
i thought I'd share this recent thoughts here;
I once saw someone posted a collection of their sketch books and I thought, "I wish I could draw too" and proceeded into thinking of buying a sketch book for myself.
But yesterday, as I was buying the markers and looking thru some small sketch book to buy, I realized, I am no artist (not the one that draws anyways) and decided to stop the frenzy of buying art supply and such.
On my way home, I kept thinking (and realizing) that I already have a collection of books/journals. they may not be as awesome as the one that those artists have; with their anime like drawings, majestic colors, etc. but my diaries/journals are all and filled to the brim with writings.
I think it's awesome that I actually have diaries/journals collection. 
How many people have such collections? I mean a collection of something you yourself create? I'm guessing not so many.
I remember writing or typing the saying of Anne Frank's, "I may not know how to draw but at least I can write".
So, as I sat here this afternoon, wondering (still) about what to draw, I decided to just let go of that ambition and just settled with coloring instead. I colored so well. LOL

all I'm saying is that, I'm glad that I have this sense of trying to draw. In another word, I'm trying to find myself again thru this. "Try and Error," as one of my fellow Team Building buddy once said. 
It's never too late. the good thing about it is that, at this age, you become less stressful over your error and learn quickly to move forward onto another thing.
it may look like I was giving up but lets face it, drawing doesn't just happened over night (as do success), they took a lot of years to perfect.
Just like writing. I don't just write like this out of no where. It took me my entire high school life to find the confidence to even write this long for your viewing. even when you don't read it! 

I guess, from my point of view, people only ever interested in my art when I have a lot of pictures posted together with any of my lengthy post. So that's what I did all these years with my posts. To keep people interested, I either posted something short with one picture or if I decided on something lengthy, I make sure I have some pictures attached in it before posting.
It gets a little frustrating sometimes trying to figure out what makes people happy with my posts.
BUT
that always short-lived and I ended up posting whatever I want.
xD

. . .

Onew has a sexy back.

No hate.
. . .

Disappointment

I finally found this 'Egg' case I was once tagged on FB.

but when I finally bought and trying to wait patiently for it to be processed and shipped, the Seller decided to send me this

I was devastated.

I am not even joking.

I really wanted this case.

and the Seller had the nerve to ask me to choose another?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

I browse thru their 'store' and of course, find nothing that interest me.

Now, I've made my decision (after 20 minutes) that I'm going to cancel the transaction.

or let it auto cancelled. 

muahahah!

what I don't understand is that, if it's out of stock, why is it up in the store?!
щ(ಥДಥщ)
like, why are you sooooo deceivinggggg????

I'm just gona willow in self pity now. 

. . .

a/n: this would be the third time AliExpress disappoints me. I'm gonna stick with eBay from today onwards. Goodbye, AliExpress, you suck! (╹◡╹)凸

. . .

DIY : Do It Yourself

I was dead bored the whole of last week that I went shopping

ヾ(＠⌒▽⌒＠)ﾉ

on eBay.

and as I was browsing thru so much random shiz, I came up with an idea; how about I make my very own phone case?
like this one

Not my photo as marked.

the plain phone case was DIY-ly designed using a fake-whip-cream clay with little knic-knacs, or decodens, as they called them on eBay (or anywhere else in the world).

I watched a couple of videos on youtube and I think I can do it too.

and the whip-cream-clay was easy enough to make; dry air clay mixed with liquid glue and water (with measured amount of course). I could buy them on eBay but we all know that would take ages to arrive to Brunei (especially with Free Shipment. coz I'm cheapskate and don't like paying express shipment v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ)

But i did buy a couple of decodens from eBay. 

this is not my picture. and also not the sample of decodens that I have bought. 

this is just an example.

I shall start decorating when those things arrived. For now, I shall relax and buy some more. muahahaha! Nuh, just kidding. I am currently thinking of whether I should start a business doing a customize phone case. ᵔᴥᵔ

or I think I'll just buy a few tiny bits of deco at the Mall or something to start my DIY. They probably cost a bit more than the ones from eBay but better than having to wait for my parcel to arrive next month!

I'll share some pictures of my very own phone case when I finally made it one day. 
Let us all pray I have the will to stay motivated. \m/(>.<)\m/

. . .

Having a Guy Friend

I used to have a couple more guy friends (other than my old classmates from high school) through out the years.

but now, noted the 'used to'? 
Yeah
I didn't type that wrong.

I distanced myself from them because they have a girlfriend and she is jealous AF.
or as some Bruneian love to say, "Penjeles Kan Mati".

I understand pulang. I understand how they feel. Aku kan perempuan jua.
But I hope these 'ladies' also understand the reason I stayed away was because aku menjaga hati durang supaya inda 'continue' kan jeles-jeles lagi. 
Not because i Have feelings for your boyfriend.
I am usually a neutral person, yg when a guy friend ada girlfriend and he brings her to our group outing, I usually treat her like she's one of us too. 
but these ladies usually maintain a cool facade and i think i'm not that dumb to not take a hint. like, awu, boyfriend mu, ambil chia~~

Now these couples are married and I think I was blocked from the guys' IGs too. 

I just feel sorry that our friendship ended that way.

But seriously guys, it's not you, it's your wife.

hahaha

take a chill pill.

Maybe it's because aku single kali. maybe I, somehow, mengeluarkan aura 'desperate' for a husband or something that makes them think that I'm after their partners.

Are you for real?

Yes, of course I wana get married too and have a husband but woman, I am not that desperate. Banyak lagi lelaki Korea for me to pick from; example, SHINee has 5 member I could choose out from. *ketawa gulik-gulik pasal pakai example lelaki Korea*

So, to my other guy friends yg girlfriends durang are my another extension of friends, you guys punya girlfriends are the awesome-st kerana memahami erti persahabatan (or dalam bahasa Inggeris nya: for understanding the meaning of friendship).

and just a little foot note: When I like a guy (like a crush or something), I can hardly utter a single word in front of him. So, if you see/hear me chatting away lively and/or enthusiastically, that is not it.

to those who think that this post is somewhat insensitive and thought "She's single. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Wait till she's in their shoes" well, maybe you are right. but why don't you give it a thought or two; how do you live with such insecurities? how do you live without trust? If that was the case, shouldn't you be single?

. . .

See this hunk?

Yeah, it's him I want.

You and your protective ass can chill.

. . .

Parental Guidance

I was supposed to post a topic on 'Guy Friend' tonight
but I was watching Parental Guidance, starring Billy Crystal (Or you might recognize his voice as Mike Wazowski from Monster Inc)
So, I got side track and decided to share my thoughts on this movie's moral instead.

This movie has been in my external hard disk for so long. 
I was bored and didn't know what else to watch tonight (coz I usually just watch other movies yg I already watched; Easy A, Mulan, Salt, etc). So, as i was scrolling thru the movies I had, I came across Parental Guidance and I double clicked it.

and I just finished crying.

Here's a synopsis taken from iMDb website;

Artie and Diane agree to look after their three grandkids when their type-A helicopter parents need to leave town for work. Problems arise when the kids' 21st-century behavior collides with Artie and Diane's old-school methods.

I think I cried because how Alice, Artie's daughter, think of her father reminds me of how I think of my mother. and the things Artie said, when they had their 'talk' makes me think that is how my mother must have felt.

I've never been close with my mother like other people do. Our relationship is strictly on mother and daughter basis; She's the superior and I am the kuli. I used to think that she raised me wrong but for so long now, I think she did what she was able. The terms 'I learned things on my own' is a lie. I don't learn things on my own, I had other people guiding me. I guess what makes me think that I was on my own was because they were not taught by my mother. All I can remember right now is how often I was being scolded by other parents for my 'unruly' behavior. 
I'm not saying my mom was a bad parent. 
She at least taught me how to be independent.

All I'm putting out tonight is that, we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves just because we were brought up that way. From what I've learned so far (coz believe me, I'm forever learning), you have a choice. You can choose to not be how your parents were. 
I heard sometimes ago that you can't break away from what you've been 'taught' growing up; meaning you are your parents child, and the way they brought you up is the only guidance you had on how you supposed to grow up to be. but that theory is stand to be corrected.
Because I've seen it. I've seen people with such horrible up bringing becoming so successful in life. I'm not talking about them getting better income or better lifestyle though that is the perks but I'm talking about successful for not being in such horrible situations anymore.
That is why I strongly believe you can break away from it.

I know old habits are hard to break.
My mom and I (with my other siblings too) are trying to 'reconcile' our 'relationship' since a few years back; coz we hardly ever talked with our mother like how you talked with your mother, 
but it's hard especially for me. 
The good thing is, we are still trying and willing to continue to try and be civil (coz one way or another, thing always ended up into a 'fight'). 
I think that is the most important thing; Try.
Coz you don't know until you try, right?

. . .

disclaimer: I'm not saying me and my mother don't talk to each other. I'm saying we're just not as close as how other Mother and Daughter relationships that I've seen. Ok? OK.

. . .