Dear My Family

note: all proceeds from this version will go to UNICEF.

I hate the MV version.
like, *rolled eyes* especially the part where the crowd screamed when someone's singing. so fake. sasak ku. padahal, they can tuned out those screamed and focus on the singing saja. kenapa kan?

but the studio version is better.
I love how Kyuhyun voice is there.

I still prefer the original I AM version.

because, I was super obsess with SMTown concert at that time, and actually memorize that song! 

only for it to not being played during the Singapore concert -.-

Sharing the original MV coz its better.

I know the purpose of the new mv/release is in memory of Jonghyun.

but there weren't many Jonghyun in that MV. even towards the end, the wording is what we already know; its the same one as the one posted on both SMTown and SHINee page the day after his passing.

So, I don't feel like this MV is eSPECIALly for Jonghyun.

Step Up your game, SMent.

anyway,

sharing the lyrics below (the Original version) and lets sing a long together now.

Title: Dear My Family

Artist: SMTOWN

ALBUM: I AM. OST

[Changmin]

내가 설 곳을 찾을 수가 없을 때

naega seol goseul chajeul suga eobseul ttae

When I can’t find a place to stand

폭풍 속에서 길을 잃어버렸을 때

pokpung sogeseo gireul irheo beoryeo sseul ttae

When I’m lost in a storm

[Luna]

언제나 변하지 않는 사랑과 용길 주셨던

eonjena byeonhaji anheun sarang gwa yong gireul jusyeotdeon

The people that have given me unchanging love and courage

그들에게 감사를 보내요

geudeul ege gamsareul bonae yo

I send my gratitude to them

[Baekhyun]

때론 혼자라고 느꼈을 때가 있었죠

ttaereon honja rago neukkyeo seulttaega isseotjyo

Sometimes there were times when I felt that I was alone

[D.O]

많이 울었던 지난날의 내 모습에

manhi ureotdeon jinan narye nae moseube

Looking at me crying so much in those past days

[Yesung]

얼마나 마음이 아팠을까요

eolmana maeumi apasseul kkayo

How heartbreaking must it’ve been for you

힘들었을까요

himdeureo sseulkkayo

How hard must it’ve been for you

이제서야 난 알 것만 같아요

ije seoya nan al geotman gatayo

Only now do I think I can understand

[Taeyeon]

내 인생이 끝날 때까지

nae insaengi kkeut nal ttae kkaji

Til the end of my life

이 세상이 끝날 때까지

isesangi kkeut nal ttae kkaji

Til the end of this world

우린 영원히 함께 있을 거예요

urin yeongwonhi hamkke isseul geo eyo

We will be together forever

[All]

작은 마음 모아 큰 힘 되듯

jageun maeum moa keun him duideut

Like little hearts gathering to become a great strength

우린 하나란 것을 믿고 있어요

uri hana ran geoseul midgo isseoyo

I’m believing we’re one

우리함께 행복 만들어요

uri hamkke haengbok mandeureoyo

Together we create happiness

메마른 세상 속에 빛이 되는 날까지

me mareun sesang soge bichi duineun nal kkaji

Til the day when we become the light in the parched world

[Taeyeon]

사랑해요

saranghaeyo

I love you

[Chen]

나와 같은 꿈을 꾸고있나요

nawa gateun kkumeul kkugo innayo

Are you dreaming the same dream as I am?

[Luhan]

정말 나와 같은 곳을 바라보고 있나요

jeongmal nawa gateun goseul bara bogo innayo

Are you really looking at the same place I am?

[Jonghyun]

그것만이 세상의 모든 아픔을 치료할 수 있어요

geugeot mane sesangye meongdeun apeumeul chiryo hal su isseoyo

That thing only can heal every pain in this world

서로 아껴 줄 수 만 있다면

seoro akkyeo jul suman itdamyeon

As long as we can cherish each other

[Yunho]

내 인생이 끝날 때까지

nae insaengi kkeut nal ttae kkaji

Til the end of my life

이 세상이 끝날 때까지

isesangi kkeut nal ttae kkaji

Til the end of this world

우린 영원히 함께 있을 거예요

urin yeongwonhi hamkke isseul geo eyo

We will be together forever

[All]

작은 마음 모아 큰 힘 되듯

jageun maeum moa keun him duideut

Like little hearts gathering to become a great strength

우린 하나란 것을 믿고 있어요

uri hana ran geoseul midgo isseoyo

I’m believing we’re one

우리함께 행복 만들어요

uri hamkke haengbok mandeureoyo

Together we create happiness

메마른 세상 속에 빛이 되는 날까지

me mareun sesang soge bichi duineun nal kkaji

Til the day when we become the light in the parched world

[Changmin]

사랑해요

saranghaeyo

I love you

[Kangta]

우리 앞에서 절망해버린 사람들이 있다면

Woah, uri apeseo jeolmang hae beorin saram deuri itdamyeon

When we see people who’ve lost hope

다시 일어날 큰 힘이 돼 줘야해

dashi ireonal keun himi dwaejwo ya hae

We should become the great strength for them to stand up again

[BoA]

나와 같은 가족의 손길이 필요할 테니까

nawa gateun gajok ye son giri pilyo hal teni kka

Because they might need the hand of a family like me

Woah

[All]

작은 마음 모아 큰 힘 되듯

jageun maeum moa keun him duideut

Like little hearts gathering to become a great strength

우린 하나란 것을 믿고 있어요

uri hana ran geoseul midgo isseoyo

I’m believing we’re one

[BoA]

Oh yeah

[All]

우리함께 행복 만들어요

uri hamkke haengbok mandeureoyo

Together we create happiness

[BoA]

Whoo

[All]

메마른 세상 속에 빛이 되는 날까지

me mareun sesang soge bichi duineun nal kkaji

Til the day when we become the light in the parched world

[BoA]

사랑해요

saranghaeyo

I love you

Credits:

kpopcoloredlyrics.wordpress.com 

 . . .

Similarity v.2.0

When I said Similar, I don't mean on the way they look.

I mean, maybe ada lah sedikit similarities but inda banyak.

When I said similar, I mean, in the way they played their character when they acting.

Hello.

Fancy seeing me again, yeah?

my last post is still very true. I am still not believing it but it is still true. it is so unreal but it's soooo real.

thus,

I decided to not deal so much on that coz emotion is exhausting, and try post about something else.

I was watching National Treasure the other day, and the character Abigail Chase reminds me of somebody else. 

Abigail Chase was played by Diane Kruger. btw 

and her Abigail character reminds me of Abigail Breslin.

Abigail Breslin is a child actor who is super talented. 

mcm Dakota Fanning. 

as mentioned above, I'm not saying they look similar, I'm saying their acting reminds me of each other.

the next pair that I'm going to mention is between Natalie Portman and Millie Brown.

I first saw Millie during those hypes from Stranger Things. I personally haven't watch that series.

and the way Millie presented herself, reminds me so much of Natalie Portman. that confident! #bringitgurl

I don't even know these young actors (although Abigail is all grown up now, 21 years old) but they make me proud.

I hope they continue to bring their A game in their career!

all the best girlies

hashtag girlpower

. . .

December 18th

December 18th, 2017.

A Monday.

It had been a long time since I last had my 'Monday Blues'. while other people have Monday Blues, I have Busy Bee Monday.

I came to work on the dot and had already set my mind into 'work' mode. Meaning, no matter what happened; lots of customers, lots of transactions, "I'm gona get thru the day head on!"

and then the day end. I was just getting into my car when I saw a text from my bespren, "JONGHYUN DIED??"
confused and a little insulted, I texted back, "Whaaaaaaa"

Time was 7:24pm.

He told me to check IG.

I had not check my IG all day. I was on youtube (listening to horror search and rescue story that day) most of the time.

So, I checked my timeline. I see that most of the fanacct I followed did not say anything about it.

and when I finally did check my Explore page, my heart skipped a beat.

there it was, the news.
Jonghyun found dead. Send a suicide text to his sister. Dead by CO poisining.


Of course, my initial reaction was "denial".

I have never been so in denial ...ever.

but as the hour went on, the fanaccount I followed started to post about the incident, one by one.

Reading from the Explore page was such an agony.

Zawir said, "this is worse than a band breaking up"

I, on the other hand, kept texting back "omg"

sampai Zawir pun ckp "Can you say anything else??!"

I mean, what do you want me to say?

I was so tired from a long day, all I planned on doing that night was sleep early, and then this news attacked me.

It attacked the entire Kpop world!

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

but nothing hits hard then when SM finally post an Official statement.

Nothing, I tell you.

I also kept on saying to myself, "What the hell Jonghyun? what the hell"

I know about his struggle with Depression. He talked about it often. I know.

but

I didn't think he would give up.

I didn't think he would end up choosing this path.

I kept thinking of his mother and sister whom he was super close with. whom he protected. whom he loved. whom loved him back. Honestly, atu yg ku pikirkan yg buat aku sedih.
next I thought of SHINee member; Minho and Taemin went to his concert on 10th Dec. Onew must've blamed himself for causing such big scandal for SHINee, and Key. Key as I understand it, was in Portugal. He was on the way back last night.

Part of me was so upset he chose that. very very upset.

But mostly,

I was sorry.

Sorry that I didn't think of him much during Onew's absence.

Taemin, Key and Minho news often pop up on social media as they were busy with their schedules.

the only time I smiled for Jonghyun was when fanaccounts started posting clips and images from his Inspiration Concert.

that was it.

he just had a concert.

I didn't think he would end his life in the midst of that.

I didn't ....

Typing this post the day after. 19th Dec. at a restaurant near my office. at 8:38am coz I couldn't do anything last night.

all I did was read IG, do laundry. played Dong Yi on my DVD but only as my background music, and the last time I see the clock on my phone, it showed 2:48am

I woke up to my alarm at 6am. then another alarm went off around 6:10am, from StarPop game app.

Jonghyun voice telling me to wake up.

then it hit me again.

I remembered that my dream had been me crying in so many random places.

my heart.
you know that feeling of difficulty breathing when you started crying your heart out?
it felt that way the moment I opened my eyes.

If Brian leaving Westlife in 2004 was bad news,
Jonghyun passing is worst.

Shawol decided to turn their DM to white instead of black.
Becoz Jonghyun had been in the dark. So black is too depressing.
White is the light.

I think thats what they meant.

gosh, I could go on forever with this but what's the point?

- stopped at 9:03am coz gotta go back to work -

- SHINee Romantic and Leona Lewis Run on repeat all day -

- continue editing 9:38pm -

I'm not giving up on my life, if that's what you're worrying about.

I'm just gonna be sad.

maybe this news don't hit me as hard as it did to other Shawol, but when you're presented with such devastating news, something that didn't even cross your mind in the slightest, I think, I am allowed to be sad.

as a Shawol, especially after Onew's scandal 3 months ago, all I've been thinking about is seeing SHINee as 5.

it's all I know. SHINee is not SHINee if one member missing.

I don't remember a SHINee concert without Jonghyun. maybe he did miss a couple during his recovery from his car accident. that was like way back when he still drives his Kia Sonata? way before he bought that Lambogini. I'm not in the mood to Google actual year.

anyway, pokoknya, kalau ada SHINee concert, mestilah ada Jonghyun. he the main vocalist!

I wonder what will happened to SHINee Dome Concerts in Japan, February 2018.

SMEnt has cancelled all SM artist event since 18th Dec night. 

19th Dec is the start of the funeral service and i think it will end on 21st Dec.

i think it's fitting SHINee member to be his chief mourners; Jonghyun been telling the public that SHINee is his family.

sigh.

No, I have not cry. while I'm awake.

I dread seeing the other 4 members on the 21st Dec.

. . .

my sources are mostly from IG posts. Images screetshot by me, cropped with the IG account name that posted it.

what made my stomach churned, when I see Jonghyun's wiki page was already updated with his death date, like way before SM Statement was released.

one last screenshot. read the caption.

It's what I hoped for too but, I think he didn't want to fight anymore. 
there's also a part of me that say he didn't want to be saved.


This is all still so unreal to me.


. . .

Tell Me What To Do

KL Trip Half Day Awesomeness

before I proceed with this post, 
an amendment: I just remembered I met with Bazilah and her nephews a few hours on Saturday, 9th Dec, later afternoon. hee terlupa.


moving on .. or moving back to the afternoon of Friday, 8th Dec.

Met up with Bazilah and her nephews.

Bazilah wanted to bring the boys to Bukit Bintang to purchase some game equipments.

I suggested we use the MRT.

We stopped by McD for drinks.

pastu we go to the famous electronics mall. erm..called Low Yat Plaza.

image not mine. got it off Google.

it was my second time being there. last time, untuk melintas kan ke Berjaya Time Square saja. LOL

it was pretty big for electronic products. everyone kept on "cari apa, Kak?" "Tengok lah dulu" to which I only replied with a smile. coz I was just looking around, Bazilah and nephews were the one looking for something. I join je~


After that, we went to Berjaya Time Square!

Bazilah wanted to show her nephews the indoor theme park.

My second time here and no, we didn't enter the theme park, again.

So, we eat at Sushi King instead.

SO YUM!


Next to the restaurant is an archery range.

So that's what we do afterwars, play there.

ada pose jadi tah. 

my target.
this would be my second time playing. but the first time was like 7 years ago?
so patting my own back for effort.

Zawir said he wanted to test my skill di Miri. hashtag BringItOnBruh

After acrhery, kami stopped by McD again and bought dinner.

The scenery from Majid Jamek Station. 

I think this masjid is called Masjid Jamek hence the name of the station. 

anyway, once di hotel, they melepak a while in my room, since i have such spacious room. i think at about 11 kali, they went back to their own rooms coz they had an early day on 9th Dec, while I'll be on my own going to KLCC.

So, I set out at around 10:30am, Saturday, 9th Dec but due to my clumsiness and bangang-ness with the train route, I ended up arriving at KLCC at around 12pm kali.

i didn't take many pictures there.

I shopped at Kinokuniya mostly. coz my sister bekirim buku baby.

I even shopped at Cotton On Kids. my sister bekirim jumper.

I shopped at Muji before that. bought some staff. seriously, inda banyak. LOL

the rest, I spent walking around KLCC and when my legs finally can not take it, I had lunch di Wendy's.

it was ok. 

once I finished, I finally balik semula ke hotel to rest.

I remember thinking, "faktor umur" coz my legs were so painfullllllll.

at around 2:30pm, I was back di hotel and slept until 3:55pm. woke up when Bazilah texted me to go jalan2 with the nephews. Planned to go to this famos Plaza in Masjid India area, called SOGO. I remember going there as a kid.

Image not mine, got it off Google

I'm afraid no picture too. 

I know we ate at Texas Chicken and walked around, browsing the kadai.

I don't think we buy anything there.

at around 6pm we already on the way balik hotel.

at around 9pm, I walked on my own down at the Bazaar. 
right out side our hotel was a Bazaar, but I realized they mostly sell clothes and accessories.

Image not mine. got it off Google.

I was actually looking for food. So, jauh lah jua jalan ku. way passed this sheltered area.

there are a lot of food stall the further I go. but I don't feel like eating mee goreng, cucur pisang, etc.

I only bali 3 items; air kelapa, Sotong King goreng, and Lekor goreng.

too bad nada gambar. :P

again, I apologize for the lack of picture. :P


It was a little scary at first walking on my own but after a while, I saw a couple of single ladies walking around buying food jua, so I relaxed a little.

Once i feel like I was so far off, I turned back around, back to my hotel, to feast. muahahaha

I think what I love most about this trip is that I spent so much time berelek and eating. LOVE IT.

The most relaxing travel I ever did. walaupun kaki rasa kan pulak, it was an awesome weekend for me.

as mentioned in the previous post, since drg ada MRT sudah, I might go there next time as a solo traveler. ;)


. . .

a Little taken aback by this

I want to quickly get this out of the way before I continue with my final entry for my KL Trip.

xD

let's get on with today's topic;
a Little Taken Aback by This.

as many know, I like to browse youtube.

currently, my obsession is looking up video for Solo Traveler to Japan.

thus, it make sense when below video pops up as a recommendation

Now, you know I've been to Japan back in 2016 and was so in love with that trip that I planned on going back in 2018.

but let's now watch the video first before you read my next set of thoughts.




First of all,
that hurts.

Second of all,
I think I understand what he meant.

I don't know which part I was most offended on, coz in all honesty, I didn't bother looking for muslim-friendly places while planning for my trip. all I care about is looking for the cheapest hostel!

Back in 2016, I noticed all the things he said, about Japanese being scared. 
We were being stopped at the airport once we stepped out of the immigration.
then on the train, there were EMERGENCY ALERT posted on the train monitor. the National Security is on high alert it says. I already thought that it was becoz of us when I first saw it.
Yes, there are people who looked at us dari atas ke bawah.

but apart from those awkward experiences, people don't really care about us. I mean, time kami bejalan to the station, buying food in the convenient stores, boarding the train. Nobody took a second glance at us. PLUS there are a lot more kind people I met than the judging/scared glance people.

Japanese really is a polite country, if you project the same.

It is true when he said, Japan isn't really Muslim-Traveler friendly.
Even when you try to Google, there aren't much. 
of course lah ada muslim friendly eatery but still those places aren't that easy to get to, at least not to first timer. 
From my recent research, Osaka has a lot of Muslim friendly eatery popping up this year and 2018.
even so, masih limited lah.

anyway,
when you watch the video from start to finish, you are gonna hate Mr. Nobita.
LOL
that's my initial reaction, at least.

I was mostly thinking "and you continued to be ignorant?!"

but then again,
it's not like I'm gona live in Japan forever.

I'm mostly gona be there for at least a week at a time. and all becoz of Harry Potter and Disneyland. 

So, I get what he was trying to say;

1. they are just scared. which is natural. I mean, I would too. better be safe than sorry.
2. it seems illogical to work so hard to accommodate a group of people who would probably just gona be there for a week. or sekali atu saja they visit Japan.
3. They can't just throw away their culture just for short-term visitors.

it's like when we want people to respect our home when they come around.
yes, we try to make our guest feel comfortable but that doesn't mean they can just do whatever they want or be too demanding, right?

so yeah... I understand.

but I'm afraid, I'm a little scared to go to Japan now.

LOL

I hope Universal Studio Singapore would have the rights to build their own Wizarding World of Harry Potter soon.

Kalau bukan kerana Harry Potter, I wouldn't be this worked up about going to Japan, banar tah.

hahaha odahnya...

but seriously, Mr. Nobita can say whatever he wants and I can be offended and decided upon never setting foot in Japan anymore.
After all, the world doesn't revolve around any of us and Japan will remain one of the top choices for female solo travel to go to.

I just wish I didn't watch the video.

. . .

I think I annoyed people

not that I'm not annoying on a daily basis,

but

that last KL trip, I think i offend a couple of sales person. :S

I swear I didn't do it on purpose.

I'm just realizing that I tend to speak English when I'm nervous. 

Now, I'm not trying to justify myself after offending people, but hear me out.

Kalau di Brunei, sanang lah, i usually just trying to 'blend in', 'mix with the crowd', 'speak your lingo', etc when I speak to new people. Cakap Brunei is so sanang. coz my language, kan. nervous2 ku pun, I can still talk.

I'm speaking from my experience at the office when we have mix group of people from different departments and branches during Training.

Kalau di luar negeri, macam Miri lah, from experience, selalunya i just ask/answer in English. because in Miri mostly they speak Kucing or English. but of course, sometimes I forgot that I was in Miri, and speak my malay. LOL nasib Miri people are so accustomed to Brunei Malay.

this is why, time di KL I speak English. 

NOT BECAUSE my English is amajing like Prince Mateen's but because I don't know how to speak in bahasa semenanjung (i think it means bahasa melayu KL?). 

I used to, back when I was 13 and had Bahasa Melayu oral exam and I fooled the examiner into thinking that I'm half Malaysian. LOL I am not, Ma'am. pure Bruneian at heart. :P 

point is, I can't. I mean, i blurt it out a few times on that trip but then I got embarrass and stopped.

2 sales person, I notice, looked annoyed, when I speak English with them. Kira macam aku tu inda pandai cakap melayu lah ah. Bukan inda pandai, sis, different accent/dialek. 

Plus I don't want people to know that I'm Bruneian. for safety reason.

For so many years, people had the wrong idea yg we Bruneians are rich people and when we travel, we must have a lot of money on us. So, we got 'mugged' 'tipu' a lot.

That is why, for pre-cautionary measure, when taxi driver asked where we come from, we lie and tell them we are from KK (Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia), because some people think we have similar dialek.

So, that is why I speak English. 

1. to stop making myself looking like a fool trying to speak the semananjung dialek

2. to stop myself from being targeted tourist

I think this is why I have anxiety about travelling alone to KL. :S

. . .

Serious question: How do you spell Dialek? LOL

One Blonde Afternoon

Hello guys, 

fancy having me posting for 3 days straight, ey?

It's scheduled.

;)

I have a funny story I got from my recent travel to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

I don't know if the world know, but Kuala Lumpur have been upgrading their mode of transportation; introducing the Mass Rapid Transit, MRT.

Image does not belong to me. I got it from Google.Com

I think it starts operating last year.

and boy, it was so easy! Just like in Singapore!

but of course, it is still quite new, and me being so 'bangang' at reading train maps, I got lost a lot in the duration of two days I was there.

Plus, it is so new that even the local was asking me for directions! (but that's probably becoz I dressed like Malaysian :p. I wanted to just blend in and not be targetted as being a tourist)

I think 3 orang kali yang tanya aku if this particular train will reach to a certain place.

People, I am as lost as you are.

LOL

Selfie is essential for solo traveller. 

On the KLIA Express train from the airport to KL Sentral.

anyway, my Blondies (which in this context, means, bimbo) moment;

I arrived at KL Sentral (from the airport) with confidence. 

I looked around to buy my next train tix to reach my hotel.

Found the Kiosk and to my surprise, after inserting my 'wang kertas', a token fell on the 'collecting' pocket.

I looked at it confused, and ...is this monopoly money?

Trying to project confidence again, I walked to that 'beep' gate and got lost. 

"How am I supposed ..."

I stopped on my track, and quickly thought of a solution. I think I circled on the same sport once before I brave myself to ask the information counter guy.

He was looking at his phone when I stood in front of him.

I said, Hi, smiled and asked him, while holding up the blue token, "What do I do with this?"

• This is why I said, I was being blondies: I asked the guy in the most confused, not-so-sure, almost-having-a-panic-attack, voice.
• another reason why i think I was blondies: The guy put down his phone, took out a sigh of a breath and calmly said (or something along the line of) "You go to the gate, put this on the red area, and when you arrive at your destination, your insert the coin at the gate" 

I laughed my head of, "Oh. OK. thank you!" and laughed some more.

I WAS SO EMBARRASSED!

I saw the guy also smiled (I'm pretty sure it was more of a smirk) at me realizing how stupid my question was.

LOL

MANA LAH KU TAU YANG TOKEN TU RUPANYA TICKET TRAIN!

biasa, in Singapore, pakai paper card, datang2 di KL pakai token. 

but I said to myself, laughing to myself, "I swear i'm not stupid". hahahahahahahaha

LOL-ing forever.

the whole day I can not get his smiled/smirked out of my head.

I SWEAR I'M NOT STUPID!

hahahaha

it's kinda a good thing though, using the token, save paper ticket/card. coz obviously the token is reusable. although not so hygienic. so, i suggest you put it just inside your pocket the whole time.

as mentioned in one of my previous post, I went there alone, but meeting up with Bazilah.

In truth, I only met her the Friday afternoon that I arrived and then the Sunday morning before I leave. I spent my entire Saturday on my own. I was that comfortable. I think with the introduction of the MRT, made my anxiety cooled down a lot and I was able to 'chill'. :D

to be continued ...

. . .