me making an excuse

I finally figure out why, at times, I don't post anything here.

it's becoz, I have so many other personal blog;

1. IG

2. Facebook

3. LINE Play Diary

although my post there are not very detail,

I still post. with pictures. 

except for Facebook, I don't post my own pictures there. I only SHARED other posts yg ada pictures.

Point is,

once I posted/shared in any of those social media outlet,

I often don't find the need to post here anymore.

LOL!

poor excuse 

but there you have it!

maybe this short post explain my lack of initiative to post here.

apart from being lazy, of course.

HAHAHAHAH

Ok, bye

 . . .

Preference

29th Jan 2018
Monday
9:33pm


I know. 
Kenapa inda tunggu until Feb 2018 saja to post?

LOL

Been so busy!! and tired!! and most of all, lazy.
you have no idea just how lazy I am to force myself to make a post.
Even when, as of this moment, I have at least 4 stories to tell. with pictures. :P

Thus, to make up for lost time, I am making this post.

Today's topic is Preference.

Seems nonchalant but it's not.

Last Sunday, we met up with cKuch and her little family, di Mall.
I arrived a little early and while waiting for them, I stopped by Pandora.
This kadai Pandora is pretty new, I think opened 2016? and I liked to stopped by the 'ring' table. 
it has that springy string attached to the displayed ring, and you can pulled them to try on and then put it back on its holder (kira mcm anti-theft lah ah. since that table up front in the open). 
I bought one ring last year, as a gift to myself (LOL) and I decided to buy another ring this year.
So, last Sunday, I went there again to have a look, saw the ring I want and decided to try them on. 
at the moment, there is a sale going on, where by, you buy 3 items and get the 4th one for free.
I was like, "hmmm". I decided to buy one of the bracelet coz I thought, I can always 'top up' the charm.
as I was trying on the bracelet, while the sales person helping me search a charm, a woman came into the shop with her son. I remember she was kinda loud. She kinda just circled the kadai. by the second round, I heard her say, very loudly too, "that's why Diamond is valuable" she said to her son. and then she continued, "you must buy a girl diamond" and I 'tuli kan telinga' after that. I remember I shook my head lightly and smiled at the sales person in front of as she too heard what the woman just said.

Wanna know what was in my head at that two time I acknowledged the woman's presence?

1. It's true. Diamond has more value than Pandora's silver sterling.
2. but why are you in this shop and not at the Diamond store opposite??

hahaha

mengada (this roughly translate to 'show off').

I am aware that buying jewelries from Pandora is not really a good investment. 
compared to Gold, Pandora is a little worthless.
Most Pandora items are of Silver Sterling. but they do have dual colored items, like silver plus 14k Gold. they also have Rose Gold colored items.
I am no expert in Gold/Silver/Diamond values.
the only reason I buy Pandora rings are becoz, I finally could I afford it.
LOL
and they are really pretty!
(I have no real reason why)

I know there are many affordable Gold pieces but it's not my favorite color. LOL

I don't know man. I could afford a gold ring but I guess, I'll save that for my future husband to buy me. muahahahahahaha.

anyway,

Preference.

there are so many other types of jewelers; Tiffany & Co, Swarovski (is this the name of the company? I am not sure xP), and Cartier to name a few.

If you can afford Tiffany, go ahead and buy from them.

If you can afford to buy Gold pieces from traditional Gold Dealers/Shops, go ahead.

If you can afford Diamond, go ahead and buy them diamonds.

Buy which ever jewelry you prefer.

but please, don't undermine other people's choices.

SMILE

wanna see my rings??

 Princess Tiara

 Fairytale Tiara

Bow

Obviously, not my photos.
but these are the rings I own.
See what I mean about being pretty??
they're really pretty in real life too!

as said, Preference.

and this is what I prefer.

xD

 . . . 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

btw

Dear My Family

note: all proceeds from this version will go to UNICEF.

I hate the MV version.
like, *rolled eyes* especially the part where the crowd screamed when someone's singing. so fake. sasak ku. padahal, they can tuned out those screamed and focus on the singing saja. kenapa kan?

but the studio version is better.
I love how Kyuhyun voice is there.

I still prefer the original I AM version.

because, I was super obsess with SMTown concert at that time, and actually memorize that song! 

only for it to not being played during the Singapore concert -.-

Sharing the original MV coz its better.

I know the purpose of the new mv/release is in memory of Jonghyun.

but there weren't many Jonghyun in that MV. even towards the end, the wording is what we already know; its the same one as the one posted on both SMTown and SHINee page the day after his passing.

So, I don't feel like this MV is eSPECIALly for Jonghyun.

Step Up your game, SMent.

anyway,

sharing the lyrics below (the Original version) and lets sing a long together now.

Title: Dear My Family

Artist: SMTOWN

ALBUM: I AM. OST

[Changmin]

내가 설 곳을 찾을 수가 없을 때

naega seol goseul chajeul suga eobseul ttae

When I can’t find a place to stand

폭풍 속에서 길을 잃어버렸을 때

pokpung sogeseo gireul irheo beoryeo sseul ttae

When I’m lost in a storm

[Luna]

언제나 변하지 않는 사랑과 용길 주셨던

eonjena byeonhaji anheun sarang gwa yong gireul jusyeotdeon

The people that have given me unchanging love and courage

그들에게 감사를 보내요

geudeul ege gamsareul bonae yo

I send my gratitude to them

[Baekhyun]

때론 혼자라고 느꼈을 때가 있었죠

ttaereon honja rago neukkyeo seulttaega isseotjyo

Sometimes there were times when I felt that I was alone

[D.O]

많이 울었던 지난날의 내 모습에

manhi ureotdeon jinan narye nae moseube

Looking at me crying so much in those past days

[Yesung]

얼마나 마음이 아팠을까요

eolmana maeumi apasseul kkayo

How heartbreaking must it’ve been for you

힘들었을까요

himdeureo sseulkkayo

How hard must it’ve been for you

이제서야 난 알 것만 같아요

ije seoya nan al geotman gatayo

Only now do I think I can understand

[Taeyeon]

내 인생이 끝날 때까지

nae insaengi kkeut nal ttae kkaji

Til the end of my life

이 세상이 끝날 때까지

isesangi kkeut nal ttae kkaji

Til the end of this world

우린 영원히 함께 있을 거예요

urin yeongwonhi hamkke isseul geo eyo

We will be together forever

[All]

작은 마음 모아 큰 힘 되듯

jageun maeum moa keun him duideut

Like little hearts gathering to become a great strength

우린 하나란 것을 믿고 있어요

uri hana ran geoseul midgo isseoyo

I’m believing we’re one

우리함께 행복 만들어요

uri hamkke haengbok mandeureoyo

Together we create happiness

메마른 세상 속에 빛이 되는 날까지

me mareun sesang soge bichi duineun nal kkaji

Til the day when we become the light in the parched world

[Taeyeon]

사랑해요

saranghaeyo

I love you

[Chen]

나와 같은 꿈을 꾸고있나요

nawa gateun kkumeul kkugo innayo

Are you dreaming the same dream as I am?

[Luhan]

정말 나와 같은 곳을 바라보고 있나요

jeongmal nawa gateun goseul bara bogo innayo

Are you really looking at the same place I am?

[Jonghyun]

그것만이 세상의 모든 아픔을 치료할 수 있어요

geugeot mane sesangye meongdeun apeumeul chiryo hal su isseoyo

That thing only can heal every pain in this world

서로 아껴 줄 수 만 있다면

seoro akkyeo jul suman itdamyeon

As long as we can cherish each other

[Yunho]

내 인생이 끝날 때까지

nae insaengi kkeut nal ttae kkaji

Til the end of my life

이 세상이 끝날 때까지

isesangi kkeut nal ttae kkaji

Til the end of this world

우린 영원히 함께 있을 거예요

urin yeongwonhi hamkke isseul geo eyo

We will be together forever

[All]

작은 마음 모아 큰 힘 되듯

jageun maeum moa keun him duideut

Like little hearts gathering to become a great strength

우린 하나란 것을 믿고 있어요

uri hana ran geoseul midgo isseoyo

I’m believing we’re one

우리함께 행복 만들어요

uri hamkke haengbok mandeureoyo

Together we create happiness

메마른 세상 속에 빛이 되는 날까지

me mareun sesang soge bichi duineun nal kkaji

Til the day when we become the light in the parched world

[Changmin]

사랑해요

saranghaeyo

I love you

[Kangta]

우리 앞에서 절망해버린 사람들이 있다면

Woah, uri apeseo jeolmang hae beorin saram deuri itdamyeon

When we see people who’ve lost hope

다시 일어날 큰 힘이 돼 줘야해

dashi ireonal keun himi dwaejwo ya hae

We should become the great strength for them to stand up again

[BoA]

나와 같은 가족의 손길이 필요할 테니까

nawa gateun gajok ye son giri pilyo hal teni kka

Because they might need the hand of a family like me

Woah

[All]

작은 마음 모아 큰 힘 되듯

jageun maeum moa keun him duideut

Like little hearts gathering to become a great strength

우린 하나란 것을 믿고 있어요

uri hana ran geoseul midgo isseoyo

I’m believing we’re one

[BoA]

Oh yeah

[All]

우리함께 행복 만들어요

uri hamkke haengbok mandeureoyo

Together we create happiness

[BoA]

Whoo

[All]

메마른 세상 속에 빛이 되는 날까지

me mareun sesang soge bichi duineun nal kkaji

Til the day when we become the light in the parched world

[BoA]

사랑해요

saranghaeyo

I love you

Credits:

kpopcoloredlyrics.wordpress.com 

 . . .

Similarity v.2.0

When I said Similar, I don't mean on the way they look.

I mean, maybe ada lah sedikit similarities but inda banyak.

When I said similar, I mean, in the way they played their character when they acting.

Hello.

Fancy seeing me again, yeah?

my last post is still very true. I am still not believing it but it is still true. it is so unreal but it's soooo real.

thus,

I decided to not deal so much on that coz emotion is exhausting, and try post about something else.

I was watching National Treasure the other day, and the character Abigail Chase reminds me of somebody else. 

Abigail Chase was played by Diane Kruger. btw 

and her Abigail character reminds me of Abigail Breslin.

Abigail Breslin is a child actor who is super talented. 

mcm Dakota Fanning. 

as mentioned above, I'm not saying they look similar, I'm saying their acting reminds me of each other.

the next pair that I'm going to mention is between Natalie Portman and Millie Brown.

I first saw Millie during those hypes from Stranger Things. I personally haven't watch that series.

and the way Millie presented herself, reminds me so much of Natalie Portman. that confident! #bringitgurl

I don't even know these young actors (although Abigail is all grown up now, 21 years old) but they make me proud.

I hope they continue to bring their A game in their career!

all the best girlies

hashtag girlpower

. . .

December 18th

December 18th, 2017.

A Monday.

It had been a long time since I last had my 'Monday Blues'. while other people have Monday Blues, I have Busy Bee Monday.

I came to work on the dot and had already set my mind into 'work' mode. Meaning, no matter what happened; lots of customers, lots of transactions, "I'm gona get thru the day head on!"

and then the day end. I was just getting into my car when I saw a text from my bespren, "JONGHYUN DIED??"
confused and a little insulted, I texted back, "Whaaaaaaa"

Time was 7:24pm.

He told me to check IG.

I had not check my IG all day. I was on youtube (listening to horror search and rescue story that day) most of the time.

So, I checked my timeline. I see that most of the fanacct I followed did not say anything about it.

and when I finally did check my Explore page, my heart skipped a beat.

there it was, the news.
Jonghyun found dead. Send a suicide text to his sister. Dead by CO poisining.


Of course, my initial reaction was "denial".

I have never been so in denial ...ever.

but as the hour went on, the fanaccount I followed started to post about the incident, one by one.

Reading from the Explore page was such an agony.

Zawir said, "this is worse than a band breaking up"

I, on the other hand, kept texting back "omg"

sampai Zawir pun ckp "Can you say anything else??!"

I mean, what do you want me to say?

I was so tired from a long day, all I planned on doing that night was sleep early, and then this news attacked me.

It attacked the entire Kpop world!

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

but nothing hits hard then when SM finally post an Official statement.

Nothing, I tell you.

I also kept on saying to myself, "What the hell Jonghyun? what the hell"

I know about his struggle with Depression. He talked about it often. I know.

but

I didn't think he would give up.

I didn't think he would end up choosing this path.

I kept thinking of his mother and sister whom he was super close with. whom he protected. whom he loved. whom loved him back. Honestly, atu yg ku pikirkan yg buat aku sedih.
next I thought of SHINee member; Minho and Taemin went to his concert on 10th Dec. Onew must've blamed himself for causing such big scandal for SHINee, and Key. Key as I understand it, was in Portugal. He was on the way back last night.

Part of me was so upset he chose that. very very upset.

But mostly,

I was sorry.

Sorry that I didn't think of him much during Onew's absence.

Taemin, Key and Minho news often pop up on social media as they were busy with their schedules.

the only time I smiled for Jonghyun was when fanaccounts started posting clips and images from his Inspiration Concert.

that was it.

he just had a concert.

I didn't think he would end his life in the midst of that.

I didn't ....

Typing this post the day after. 19th Dec. at a restaurant near my office. at 8:38am coz I couldn't do anything last night.

all I did was read IG, do laundry. played Dong Yi on my DVD but only as my background music, and the last time I see the clock on my phone, it showed 2:48am

I woke up to my alarm at 6am. then another alarm went off around 6:10am, from StarPop game app.

Jonghyun voice telling me to wake up.

then it hit me again.

I remembered that my dream had been me crying in so many random places.

my heart.
you know that feeling of difficulty breathing when you started crying your heart out?
it felt that way the moment I opened my eyes.

If Brian leaving Westlife in 2004 was bad news,
Jonghyun passing is worst.

Shawol decided to turn their DM to white instead of black.
Becoz Jonghyun had been in the dark. So black is too depressing.
White is the light.

I think thats what they meant.

gosh, I could go on forever with this but what's the point?

- stopped at 9:03am coz gotta go back to work -

- SHINee Romantic and Leona Lewis Run on repeat all day -

- continue editing 9:38pm -

I'm not giving up on my life, if that's what you're worrying about.

I'm just gonna be sad.

maybe this news don't hit me as hard as it did to other Shawol, but when you're presented with such devastating news, something that didn't even cross your mind in the slightest, I think, I am allowed to be sad.

as a Shawol, especially after Onew's scandal 3 months ago, all I've been thinking about is seeing SHINee as 5.

it's all I know. SHINee is not SHINee if one member missing.

I don't remember a SHINee concert without Jonghyun. maybe he did miss a couple during his recovery from his car accident. that was like way back when he still drives his Kia Sonata? way before he bought that Lambogini. I'm not in the mood to Google actual year.

anyway, pokoknya, kalau ada SHINee concert, mestilah ada Jonghyun. he the main vocalist!

I wonder what will happened to SHINee Dome Concerts in Japan, February 2018.

SMEnt has cancelled all SM artist event since 18th Dec night. 

19th Dec is the start of the funeral service and i think it will end on 21st Dec.

i think it's fitting SHINee member to be his chief mourners; Jonghyun been telling the public that SHINee is his family.

sigh.

No, I have not cry. while I'm awake.

I dread seeing the other 4 members on the 21st Dec.

. . .

my sources are mostly from IG posts. Images screetshot by me, cropped with the IG account name that posted it.

what made my stomach churned, when I see Jonghyun's wiki page was already updated with his death date, like way before SM Statement was released.

one last screenshot. read the caption.

It's what I hoped for too but, I think he didn't want to fight anymore. 
there's also a part of me that say he didn't want to be saved.


This is all still so unreal to me.


. . .

Tell Me What To Do