Book Read AugSepOct 2019

hi Guys...
10:45pm now and I should've done this at 9ish tadi but..are we even surprise at this point? 🤷

So, book read update!

I finally finished my mini Harry Potter marathon.
Started in Aug with the Philosopher's Stone
and
Finished last Monday 21st Oct with the Deathly Hallows.

Two books took longer to finish. Partly becoz I was lazy and another, becoz, I preferred sleep over trying to reach my own personal goals.  😂 

For weeks, I've been having very little sleep becoz of my will to finish reading all the seven books (there were other paranormal factors too but that's a story for another post. maybe) so the moment I finished book seven, I was like, "I can sleep now". i'm even feel super sleepy now. that maybe due to my age factor tho.

So, next!

I'm going to reread the Twilight saga!

the smallest black cover is the first Twilight book i bought, I signed 2014 when i finished reading it and that probably when the first movie came out. maybe. 
the biggest black cover (the 10th anniversary I think), I believe i bought in 2018? maybe? if not pun 2017. i bought it but have not read passed first chapter of the 'reverse' version.
the same height of black and white covers were also bought either 2017 or 2018. these three langsung alum pernah baca. Last time I read from ebooks. I bought them becoz its an anniversary edition (the whites) and I wanted a physically copy of my own. for memory sake. 😉

I made this same 'Book Read' box in  my journal.

I'm not gonna set any strict goals this time around. all I want is to read the three physical copies that I have. maybe If aku rajin, I will try and read the Twilight 'reverse' version again. we'll see.

Just in time for Halloween too!

but i doubt I can finish all 4 before 31st Oct. like I said, no pressure.

Ok, that is all for now.

Question: what is the one book or book series you don't mind going back to read over and over again? share you answer in the comment box below.

. . .

Updates!!

Hi guys,

Yes, I have been gone! 
I don't know if I am back coz I said that last time and I went back to being gone.
So.. 🤷

Life updates!
Obviously I'm still very active in real life (or I wouldn't be doing this post now 😜)



First update!
I turned 32 on 10th Sep. 

and I got myself a new car. 

"Wahhh so fancy~" I can already here you guys.
No. 
One, it's a loan. Two, I have a project for buying a new car (i'll update on this nanti 😉). and
Three, buying a new car is actually a long-time-coming thing. I wanted to 'buy' one back in July 2019 but becoz purchasing a car is a long time commitment (in Brunei, as far as I know, it's a loan for 7 years), I have to give a thorough consideration; will I be able to commit myself to it? how will my budget be once I have it? is it sustainable? that kind of considerations.
Some smart-ass will be thinking, "tapi ko single, apa yang kan ko ingau kn?" (but you're single, what are you worrying for?) Well, to that, I say, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!



which bring us to the next update; my thoughts on being Single and Worry-less.

For a long time, I've been hearing this "You're still single, no commitment" or "wait until you have family, lagi banyak kan dipikirkan" or "eh single, tapi stress"
💆
Ya Allah, give me the patience to remain classy in responding to this ricecooker!

For the longest time as well, I succumbed to feeling that yes, they were right. I'm single. I shouldn't be like this or I shouldn't feel like this. I should be carefree.
until..I come to my senses and brace!
Every one of us, every EACH of us live differently. I have the rights to worry just as much as the next person!
Sapa cakap aku single aku inda buleh stress?! who said that? who set that standard?!
My stress, my worry, or even my my-head-is-so-full-i-can't-brain-anymore, has nothing to do with me being single.
I don't understand how other people associate stress/worry/deep-thoughts with marital status.
THE FUCK WITH THAT SHIT!
Yes, aku single. but do you know, and I am speaking from my own experience here, that I have more commitment and responsibilities than that of a married couple?

Here's a chart to explain:

Ok, right. this chart only talk about MONEY and we all know money is not everything (everything else needs money tho 🤔)
BUT
trust me, when you don't have much, it becomes a struggle. AND I'm not saying I don't have enough. I have enough, ya Allah, alhamdulillah. 
BUT again.
My stress was never solely becoz how much money I don't have.
hmm how can I explain this better?
I'm not by any means "struggling" but imagine, you just have enough to get by and add that up with your environment; at home, at work, or even school! add those stress up, just try and add them up, and tell me ko inda stress? 😕
Sedangkan, from where I sit, listening to your worry about money WHEN I KNOW you have so much more than me, just add work-load, sudah tah ko jadi a banshee.
So, please, imagine, aku single ani, managing home and personal finance on my own, dengan workplace yg very testing, ko rasa, aku will remain, stress-free? I don't have the emotional range of a teaspoon like Ron.

WHO SET THE STANDARD THAT EMOTIONS ARE ASSOCIATED TO YOUR MARITAL STATUS?!

On the contrary, pasal aku single ani tah membuatkan aku kana bagi so much responsibilities. becoz people thought I have NO commitment and they forgotten they have already given me so much before they add up a new one. like, hello? I'm drowning here.

Someone just said to me, "in other words, your the breadwinner" and only then I realized, "yeah, I am the breadwinner" becoz, portions of my money goes to the house and other expenses while other people's money goes to themselves. Like, damn.

Anyway, whatever, sis redha. sis moving on now.

Onward! to the final updates for this post; Depression.

We (when I said we, I meant the kpop world) were shocked once again with the news of dead by suicide.
Sulli, ex-member of f(x), artist under SM, died on 14th Oct by suicide and it was strongly due to the non-stop malicious comment towards her. 
For once, I was numb. becoz she was my least fav in f(x) and I had one post being so mean about her, and I was very upset with that but I can't erase what I have done and for that action, I am sorry, Sulli.
Even though I mentioned in this blog many times before that we will never know what's really going on within that company and what's really going on among themselves, I should have kept my frustration to myself or in my personal diary where only my eyes can see. I should have kept that comment offline. I am truly and deeply sorry, Sulli. my opinions are not your responsibility.
You don't deserve the hate. 
Yes, I only posted one heat post on her but that could be the one heat comment that triggers her. 
I feel responsible.

Currently, in the kpop world, they are petitioning the Sulli Act, an act to punish malicious comment towards celebrities, which they are tying to push for their something election in December 2019. I pray the bill will pass.
People were quick to mention our Jonghyun during this sad times but I am fine. 
After a few minutes updating myself with the news, I decided for myself that, it was better for me to not read so much into it anymore becoz, reading blames upon blames towards SM, towards her EX, towards the anti, won't bring her back. Damage is done. Only thing to do now, is to be a better person from now onward.

Depression is still a taboo topic in this part of the world. 
I have my fair share on that. which I decide from now onward, to never disclose to anyone anymore.
Nobody really care.

So, what do we learn from this post?

1. turning 32 doesn't stop you from starting over with your life.
2. Single people has worries. You, non-single, family person, have worries but at least you have your spouse to share them with. And if you FREAKIN rich heir, you don't have the rights WHATSOEVER to tell me I can't worry about shit. Go sit down, Gemma.
3. Mean comments are mean no matter how well you can justify it. I'm gonna try and not do that anymore. 
4. it's not hard to be kind.
5. I am a strong person.
6. Japan trip 2020 will be my motivation to stay sane. ...LOL!

Ok,

bye.

. . . 

Challenge Accepted!

Hi guys!

quick one. and short. I hope. LOL

If you followed me on IG, you would know that I am currently rereading the Harry Potter Series.
No, I did not run out of new books to read but the last two were kinda, disappointing? 

the first book of disappointment was Songs about A Girl by Chris Russell. 

I finished this after my 7th read. Started on 29th Jul and finished on 22 Jul. Yeah, it took that long. I don't hate it but damn fanfiction can be shallow. I'm saying this becoz I was once this shallow. bahahah


Next I began the Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust. 

I began maybe few days after I finished Chris's. like maybe 27th Jul or 29th Jul. the story line is base of Snow White and her step-mom/queen. but no matter how much I try to engross myself in this story, I just can't. Like, I can't. I even read super slow. I stopped completely by chapter 4. Like, I am so done.

Disappointed and frustrated for not being able to get the satisfaction from finishing a book, I decided, I'm gonna reread my Harry Potter series. I've been wanting to do it for a while and thought, PERFECT TIMING. Also, I am confident that Harry Potter will fill in the void other books can't.

some people claimed to have read the books for like quote 13 timesss unquote, but I think overall, not including this round,  I only every read all 7 books, twice?
First Harry Potter book I read was actually Goblet of Fire, my cousin lent his book to me. then I went to the school library (this was back when I was 15 or 16) to start reading from the beginning; an English teacher was clearly a Potterhead becoz she supplied TWO SETS of Book 1-5 to the school library.

so that was my first read of Book 1, 2, 3, and 5. second read for book 4.

My sister bought me Order of the Phoenix (book 5), I forgot for which birthday but obviously I had my second read then. although, if you look closer, the spine of book 5 kinda almost torn like I read my copy more than once. I probably did. I just, can't remember as I'm typing this.

I bought my own Half-Blood Prince (book 6) when it came out. my first read.

I remember rereading Book 4 becoz the movie's coming out! - my third read.

I didn't read Book 5 when the movie came out coz I learned from previous preparation that you'll just be expecting so much and be left disappointed.

Deathly Hallows came out when I started working. first read. 

Let's not start with the sadness of the book ending coz I still have 3 movies to look forward to at that time.

I finally able to purchase my own Harry Potter book 1-4. I bought them two at a time. read them once after purchased. 
my second read of Book 1-3, fourth read for Book 4. 
obviously, rule of thumbs, after I finished book 4, i have to continue and finish with Book 5-7, making it my third read of book 5 (I was right! I read my own copy more than once), and second read for book 6-7.

Dammmmmmmm meaning, right now, I'm rereading Goblet of Fire for the fifth time!

(ok. here's a legend so you won't get confuse: first read. second read. third read. fourth read.)


I wanted to scream "BEST DECISION EVER" I mean, it is the best decision I made so far but now, I'm missing the Wizarding World of Harry Potter a lot!

sighh~~

anyway, the plan was to finish all seven books in seven weeks. Currently in reading book 4; Goblet of Fire.
i think i've excelled myself this time:
Book 1, Philisipher's Stone - start 7th Aug. finish 10th Aug
Book 2, Chamber of Secrets - start 11th Aug. finish 14th Aug
Book 3, Prisoner of Azkaban * - start 14th Aug. finish 22th Aug
Book 4, Goblet of Fire - start 22nd Aug. **

* yeah, Prisoner took longer to finish becoz I hang out a lot during my lunch time when starting that book and I didn't pick it up when I was at home. so, a little slow. 
** as for book 4, I plan to finish reading on 30th Aug. 

Now, lemme share you a conversation I had with my friend from work (and also the inspiration behind this post):

AND DAM RIGHT IMMA FINISH THIS BOOK BY 30TH AUG!

😂😂😂

I don't know if I ever mentioned this before but I'm the type yg will be hard on myself when I didn't reach the goal I set for myself, meaning I'm gonna stress about this. but I know I can do this. tonight I've already baca up until chapter Fifteen. the Beauxbatons and Drumstrang are arriving at Hogwarts. 

but then again, I could just be "meh~"

oh, why 30th Aug? becoz I'll be going for a short trip from 31st Aug - 2nd Sep. So i thought, finish book 4 before the trip and continue with book 5 when I get back. 😉 IF ONLY I'm this organize with everything else in my life.

Anyway, 
so much for a short one. LOL who can shut me up when I start talking about my favorite things??

One thing for certain, doing this rereading; Harry Potter the books are so much better than the movies. Of course i still love the movies. it's just, book Ron is far more superior! than movie Ron. just saying. and anybody remember Peeves? Winky? Professor Sinistra?

alright folks, i think I've said enough.
I'm afraid this will be my final update for August. 
soooo
I see you in September?

Ok, baii~

. . .

I have a new favorite!

Hi guys!

I know, I need to catch up with my posts, sooo here we go.

My budd asked "Kenapa ko suka NCT?" and I went, "sigh. I know why ..just, I don't know how to explain" and I proceeded to explain to him WHY. bahahah

For starters, I've always been SM bias. So, anything SM produced, I will end up supporting.
I don't know if anyone remember but I started obsessing over kpop with Super Junior and over time, as do with all obse - you know what? I'm gonna start using the word 'Passionate' instead of  'Obsess' from now on - as do with all things you passionate about, you will become more knowledgeable of your passion, as in, I know what SM Entertainment is and which idol is under SM and everything fall into places from then on.

You know, of course, I became a Shawol next. I'm still an ELF, just not as passionate as I once were. I'm also a Jumping Boa, MeU, Sone, EXO-L, Cassies, ReveLuv, and NCTzen. Like I said, SM bias.

why I'm passionate about NCT at the moment?

There was a time when SHINee was busy promoting in Japan and they were absent from Korean stage for almost 2 years. When they returned and start promoting in Korea again, Onew said, in his very monotone and stoic face, "I will chase who ever ran to other groups while we were away". and I remember posting "Damn! i should have fangirling over NCT!" supaya cOnew chase aku lah tu ah.. i guess, I became a true NCT fangirl after that?

Um. pause. i found the video. Onew said that at 3:04



umm..i had secondhand embarrassment watching this. Even Taemin can't. like, why am I a Shawol? the fuck is this shit?  I. LOVE. THEM! 💚💚

ok, let's continue.

By that point NCT already began promoting and I have listened to their songs and some are such jam! as mentioned in previous post, a good song IS a good song. 

I think the first song I really listened to is Cherry Bomb, not a big fan. but lucky i have a habit of downloading full album. Whiplash is my fav song from that mini album. 



and then Fire Truck happened. SHINee's Key was one of the MC in one of the music show when NCT was promoting that song, soooo, you understand why I can sing a long to "ey yea yea hands up if you feeling the vibe now" LOL 

anyhoo everything kinda just, once again, fall into places with my passion with NCT from here onward. oh! and Boss! by NCT U. This song has been my jam for a while. even up until this week. LOL



Of course, I'm still a Shawol. and then 2017 happened and SHINee kinda slowed down, and then by end of 2018, Onew enlisted for their mandatory army service. Key and Minho followed early 2019. and now only Taemin left, being our little baby SHINee. This also mean, I'm missing SHINee a lot and I needed new songs to listen to. 

SM kinda "I gotchu fam" me and continue to promote NCT and also Red Velvet a lot this year. and you bet I listened to those new songs. and for some 'hype' reason, I became a passionate NCTzen? 
Maybe you are unaware but SM is promoting NCT 127 to the US this year and they collaborated with a singer I'm aware of,  Ava Max, with So Am I. of course, NCT 127 has a couple of songs in English; Regular and Highway to Heaven. 






I heard this song being played on the local radio station a number of times now and I felt proud for what ever reason.🤗🤗🤗


Even NCT Dream had a collab with HRVY with Don't Need Your Love for SMStation.




I mean, tell me these aren't good songs? Like...

So, why is NCT suddenly becoming my new favorite? hmm.. I don't thing this is sudden. I've always been a fan and only now that SHINee is at a pause that I'm giving them a chance. No, I don't think I'm moving on to becoming NCTzen like I did when I was an ELF. I'm just appreciating new very good songs at the moment.

I hope this story time is fun to read. and I apologize if there're any mistake in naming the correct NCT sub groups. even I can't keep up. 😅😅

Tell me what song are you listening a lot to at the moment? 🤔 to be really honest, I listen a lot to SHINee, EXO, and NCT songs these days. so, again, call me a multi fandom onnie/noona, song wise. 😉

ok, bye.

oh, to explain, why Passionate?

National Treasure dialog:
Ben: We don't need someone crazy. but one step short of crazy, what do you get?
Riley, incredulously: Obsess!
Ben, correcting Riley in professor kind of way: Passionate.


. . .

Umpha Umpha

Hi guys!

Red Velvet's comeback with titled track 'Umpha Umpha'.

I mean,  what the  right?




if this song doesn't remind you of this guy, 

we can't be friends.


Even so, this song is better than the other one. I like it.

*this is me being geram! becoz I so want to hate this song for its title but a good song is a good song, i guess?

and speaking of a good song, Sulli's Goblin actually isn't so bad either. *syke!

. . .