After Laughter

Just when I thought there were no more good lyricist in the world,
Paramore came out with this album.

Let's read the lyric for Hard Times below:


All that I want
Is to wake up fine
Tell me that I'm alright
That I ain't gonna die
All that I want
Is a hole in the ground
You can tell me when it's alright
For me to come out

Hard times
Gonna make you wonder why you even try
Hard times
Gonna take you down and laugh when you cry
These lives
And I still don't know how I even survive
Hard times
Hard times

And I gotta get to rock bottom

Walking around
With my little rain cloud
Hanging over my head
And it ain't coming down
Where do I go?
Gimme some sort of sign
You hit me with lightning!
Maybe I'll come alive

Hard times
Gonna make you wonder why you even try
Hard times
Gonna take you down and laugh when you cry
These lives
And I still don't know how I even survive
Hard times
Hard times

And I gotta hit rock bottom

Tell my friends I'm coming down
We'll kick it when I hit the ground
Tell my friends I'm coming down
We'll kick it when I hit the ground
When I hit the ground


Aren't they genius?

I love it! it's like they know what's in my head or something.

psychic!

Hashtag Raven

Now let's watch the MV



Kinda rugged right this concept?

I'm living for it.

Hashtag GOPARAMORE

. . .

What I hate the most

Ever since I know how to travel,

I learned new things to hate.

One of them being?
When people asked me about my travels and then they made me feel like I'm doing my travelling wrong.

Man! people are annoying sometimes.

I know what you're going to say, I shouldn't listen to this people.

I don't. but that doesn't mean I can't hate it.

For a long time since my first travel, I've told myself so many times, that different people, different style of travel:

• some travel to shop
• some to be with nature (this includes mount climbing, camping, etc)
• some for the extreme sports (like parasailing, skydiving, etc)
• some for the culture (this includes sight seeing)
• some for food adventure
• some for theme park hopping

Those are some of the examples.

I guess, I'm more of a mixture between shopping, sightseeing, and theme park hopping.

of course, mine also depends on what country I'm visiting.

Like, I've been to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and Singapore a number of times before. So, for my next trip there, I usually plan for more sight seeing/relaxing, and less shopping. (keynote: Plan. we know how plans always go :P)

With all that explained, and hopefully you got the point,

I hate it when people started asking, "eh inda ko pigi ..." or "rugi ko inda (go somewhere/do something) ..."

Ummmm ani travel story ku kah or kau?

If you think I'm rugi this and that, why don't you do it, if you're so perfect? 

Coz as far as I'm concerned, there's a different between dreaming of doing this and that/planning this and that, with actually doing this and that when you finally arrive at the destination.

You can planned things for months but still fell short of your plan when you were actually doing it, no matter how thorough your plan/research is.

So, unless you've done more travelling than I do, chill ko di sana and stop raining on my parade.

I'm not the best traveller. I'm still a baby traveller. still trying to get to know this world of travels.

Yes, I might missed a certain place to visit or take picture at, but who said that's gona be my one and only time there? I could always visit again. why you so worked up?

There you go,

my little rant on why I don't really like talking about my travel to people.

coz a princess once said, "the most boring thing is to hear story about other people's travel"

LOL that doesn't really make sense but I was never good at explaining things. :P

Anyway,

that's all for now and I will see you on my next post!

Happy Weekend people.

. . .

When I grow up

When I was 11, I wish I was a good sister, 

like Violet.

When I was 14, I wish I was secretly a Princess,

like Princess Mia.

When I was 17, I wish I was smart,

like Hermione.

When I was 21, I wish I could run a company,

like Richie Rich.

When I was 25, I wish I was famous,

like Pussycat Dolls

but

by 29, I wish I'll be a cool mom,

like Ted's mom.

. . .

Short and Simple

I was browsing, scrolling thru my old post on this blog

and

I realized how I have (had?) two styles; 
1. short and simple, 
and 
2. long and winding.

there were no in between.

LOL

I even dared to post just words. absolutely not a single picture attached.

Impressed!

So, what changed?

What makes me so stressful about making a post?

Why do I feel like I have to explain so much when I post a certain topic?

I was in my late teens / early twenties when I started.
is it the age factor?

If its about the amount of readers I have, its not that much of a difference from back then to now.

So, what gives?

Well,

what ever it is, I would really love to try and post something in its simplest of form.

yeah, sometimes things need to be explained but I hope I don't end up posting a three-pages essay. lol


That being said, 
I just want to say, thank you for being here, lovely readers.
You have no idea how much your time spent here means to me.

. . .

my motivation to ABS

I am currently trying to tone certain parts of my body 

and i need motivations.

this is one of them





*creepy noona smile*

to entertain you more, go and read comments under that video on youtube. 
you'd be surprised by the amount of intelligence.

bahahahahah

. . .

A/N: I have two emotions; Onew and Anger. tell me which one you prefer me to post.

Friendship

For the past weeks,
I've been thanking God for those best friends I kept and will continue to keep.

I don't have to mention names becoz they already know who they are.

I just deleted a whole bunch of paragraphs before deciding on posting this one.

I was angry and pissed and wrote a bunch of details which I'm sure no one wants to read.

So, instead,

lets attached a couple of quotes about friendship.

but in the end,

If you have to explain something so meaningful like this to someone,

you have to wonder,

is it worth my time?

If you can't figure it out yourself, others can't really help you.


. . . 

argh! let's cue Jojo - FAB song!

Me and Clover

If you noticed,
I sometimes watermarked my photos with Penniless Crime and *Shamrock*.

today as I was editing some photos, I wondered whats the difference between 3 leafed clover and the 4 leafed clover.

So, 

I Googled it.

I came across this article. Click Here.

Thus, if you even bothered reading that extra pop-ups, 
it says, a Shamrock (Irish Clover) is the 3 leafed ones.
the one with four leaf is not. But they mentioned how the four leafed clover means luck. the fourth being the luck.

Which  reminds me of this anime I watched not so long ago (I checked my IG, I posted this on Nov 2016); Honey and Clover.

I finally understand why (well, understand more now) one of the character was obsessing over four leafed clover, and keep saying it brings luck. or somewhere along that line.

I maybe obsessed with Westlife (Irish boyband) and know a lot more about their country than I do my own (or maybe not really), I never actually read up their history, hence why I only brought this up now.

hahhahaha 

you are too late, Az! six years after their disbandment too late!

hahahah


. . .

Mid life crisis

late last year,

I keep going over the idea of becoming a youtube vlogger.

but after that,

I got lazy.

BAHAHAHA

I think I'm just gonna stick to writing blogs.

I did make a few videos on my last trip, but that's just it.

I ended up, writing down the stories with pictures. instead of putting up a video.

there is some comforts in reading a story.

to me, it just feels genuine. 

Not saying story shown on video is any less genuine, i'm just letting you know what I prefer.

I am not ruling out becoming a vlogger either.

but I won't be one in any near future.

*shrug*

February Song

I know its already March
but this song kinda sings to me on a whole new level of feels.

February Song - Josh Groban.

Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes
Where is that simple day
Before colors broke into shades
And how did I ever fade
Into this life

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I've known is lost and found
I promise you I, I'll come back to you one day

Morning is waking up
And sometimes it's more than just enough
When all that you need to love
Is in front of your eyes
It's in front of your eyes

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
Sometimes it's hard to find the ground
Cause I keep on falling as I try to get away
From this crazy world

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I've known is lost and found
I promise you I, I'll come back to you one day

Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes
Opens his eyes

. . .

A/N: do read between the lines.

Too Soon

there are two things that I find too soon for me;

1. to read Five Days Left by Julie Lawson Timmer

2. to watch Along with the Gods : The Two Worlds

the book was too raw for me coz I tried to baca on early Jan. but by the beginning of chapter 3, I can not take it and stopped.
the story was about a woman sick with cancer and planned to take her own life at her own term. Instead of waiting for the cancer to claim her life, she decided to take her own life before the cancer did.
the part yg made me felt a lump in my throat was when she set the date of when she's going to take her life.
I feel like Jonghyun was like that too. He already set a date. there was excert from an interview where he said he wanted to rest in Dec/2017 no matter what. I just thought, as I read that book first chapter, "he planned it"
there was that security guard punya witness account about what Jonghyun was doing in the last moment at the apartment he rented; he was driving fast and making lots of noise with his car. a fan said he was contemplating. He must've had second thoughts. sigh
every time I thought if this, there are lots of "if only"

The Two Worlds was a lot tougher to handle but I get thru it. (Pasal liat diwayang. nothing else I can do but watch sampai habis LOL)
this one lagi dashyat. my heart skipped a bit part the funeral scene.
as we know, I have read a lot of article during/after Jonghyun's funeral.
Part yg aku feel was when the movie's main character's mother sat in front of her son potrait and then there was an annoucement about putting the body into the casket.
during Jonghyun's, a post said his was done privately in the presence of  his loved ones.
So, from reading to watching and hearing an enactment of that scene is hard.
I shed a tear towards the end of the movie. bukan nangis berabis. just shed a tear. LOLbut really ut was mostly becoz I was so emerse in that movie. argh! no wonder it become 2nd highest grossing Korean movie. thumbs up

I finally understand when people posted warnings before continue reading a post.

I felt a lump in my throat and my hear skipped a beat from the above. I'm sure others might be a lot more emotional and will be triggered easily.

Some still need to time to heal

I don't know if I am healed or apa, but like i once said, you can never get over a death of your love ones, you just learn to cope and move on.

. . .

Composed on: 15th Feb 2018
Edited on: 14th Mar 2018

1. finished reading Five Days Left (read most of the book on 3rd and 4th Mar, and finished the rest on 9th Mar) and boy that was tough! I kept catching my breath at some parts. I kept wondering if that was what went thru Jonghyun's head. Like, he kept having second thoughts but certain things happened and his decision became more resolute.
2. Life goes on.

Enough

I hate how everything is Jonghyun that Jonghyun this

I have nothing against him or Blingers or fellow Shawols

I'm just against everything is so easily connected to him nowadays

eg 1. His album sales was phenominal.
I'm not saying its bad, I'm actually glad.
but why can't his previous album be phenominal too? when he was alive? when he needed the assurance most??

2. His MV reached 2mil in less than 24hrs.
WHERE WERE YOU ALL MASA HIS PREVIOUS RELEASES?!
why now baru th interested and commenting You've worked hard, Oppa.
come on!

3. SM and maybe SHINee management too, decided to not sale Jonghyun related merchandises at SHINee World  Concert the Best From Now
to me, lurus bah. orang nya nada sudah, it wouldn't be right to be still getting profit/advantage like that.
some even commented "SM should make an exception"
*rolled eyes*
would you want me to sell merchandise of your love ones once they passed away and take all the profit from it.
Pahamilah.
I know this news is especially hard for Jonghyun bias.
but remember, his Poet | Artist album might not be out if it was not becoz of SM.
SM already make an exception thru that album. its the last goodbye.
not to mention whatever legal actions base on their decisions.
Kindly be more open and understandble, ok?

4. with this news about SHINee losing a member by suicide are overwhelming.
Key was right to post a request on his IG; to treat them as before, to give them support.
Yes, I am one of that Shawol who wanted to see OT5 ever since Onew's scandal.
but if we insisted to see OT5 when we all know that that is impossible now, we don't just hurt ourselves, we hurt the remaining member of SHINee too.
SHINee is now a 4 member-ed group.
that doesn't make them any less SHINee.
they are still SHINee.
and we need to continue supporting SHINee as we always have.
of course, right now, with extra compassion.


I don't know if I want to listen to live stream of the concert in Japan this weekend.
macam alum ku ready.
in my head, there will be a lot of moment where they might paused and a little lost coz they have the raw-est of feelings.
I can't.
tunggu tah ah smpi ada fanaccount with subs.


. . .

The above was composed on 15th Feb 2018.

Edited 14th Mar 2018.

1. I still feel the same as the above as of now.
2. I was right to not stream the concert coz when I did, everyone was so emotional, SHINee and Shawols. I shed another tear.
3. I wish for them to take a year long break. to mourn. to grieve. to get everything together at their own phase. I know life goes on but I think they deserve that break.
4. time. we need more time.

. . .

I believe today is White Day

14h March 2018

I think today is a White Day.

*starts Googling*
Yup, today is White Day.

I am only reading the difference between White Day and Valentine Day in Japan. where on V-day, Girls give Guys chocolate or things, while on White Day, Guys give Girls chocolate or things.

If you wanna know more, click here for White Day and here for Valentine Day.
all are for reading purposes only.

Anyway,
I'm not sure what to post at the moment.
I have a lot to get out of my chest.

I have 2 drafts on here that I need to post pranto.
The reason why they are still in Draft mode is because, I composed them when I was angry and fed up. So, I'm still contemplating whether I should re-write or post them as it is.

Decisions~ decisions~

Hmmm...

what else to mention?

I have a wand!

#WandsReady

and I am ready for FantasticBeast: The Crimes of Grindelwald!



but the movie is not until November 2018. *mata ke atas*

at least that's one thing to look forward to before this year ends.

hmmmm...

I shall end this post here.

until the next post, ciao~

. . . 

Running Away

Cue Craig David song, Running Away. 

(French duet ver)

I see you on the flip side *thumbs up*

. . .

A/N: Image is not mine. got it off Google which led me to a TopTumblr post.

Sushi Head

Here comes my Sushi headband story

xD

took me at least a few days looking for that sushi plate thingy.

I actually had the vision of that headband, like, end November 2017, kali. 

I remember going to this Japanese store at the Mall, looking for the fake Sushi keychain thingy that I once bought for me and my geng. It sold out.

I remember getting on ebay searching for it but I find them to be soooooo expensive that I chose not to waste my money on them, especially when I'm not willing to pay for shipment, and free shipment usually datang lambat ya amat. what if barang atu datang after my annual dinner? not gonna take the risk.

I went ke Miri looking for fake sushi at Daiso but only found Sushi related erasers. and they were quite small.

the other two not sushi related.

dont judge me.

I have issue.

I was sedih and almost menyamal and giving up.


until maybe two weeks before the annual dinner, aku baru tepikir kan cari mainan.

I remember dragging Buzz and Zawew looking for mainan sushi at famos toy stores. LOL

but of course, this saying is so true, 'bila dicari, inda tia ada'.

:\

I finally found the toy at the Mall, arah kadai belakang2, yg we seldom round/jalan2 at, a week before the dinner.

my happiness is something!

for once, my vision is coming true!

I FOUND MY SUSHI!



but being me, I waited until the night before the dinner to do my DIY headband.

nothing like the rush feeling of finishing your headhand a night before your dinner.

LOL

First, I glue-gun-ed all there pieces.

Then, I glue-gun-ed the head band under the plate.

After the glue hardened, I finally glue-gun-ed the sushi onto the plate

of course I finished almost past midnight.

the next morning, I woke up early to buy one last item.

and I actually got ready around 3 and arrived at the venue at 5:30pm.

registration started at 6pm.

bahaahah I have never been that early to the annual dinner, EVER.

lucky got nice view while waiting for cBuzz.

A for effort to Me xD

. . .

Here's a bonus Picture

my shoes!

BBB Annual Dinner

BBB annual dinner happened on 27th Jan 2018.

This year punya theme was One Night in Tokyo.

of course I was super excited for this theme.
especially after my Japan Trip in 2016.
XD

When the email came out, I already know what i wanted to wear; Not a Kimono.

LOL

coz I thought, for one time thing, buying a Kimono or making one is not worth it.

kudos to those who made an effort to do so.

I bought my outfit back in December 2017, at the airport's H&M, going home after my KL trip. 
it was on sell and I bought the blouse for RM40! which is around BND14! laik~~ wot wottt

My headband story will be on the next post.

for now, 
lets enjoy pictures taken that night xD

I had mixed feelings about taking picture with this guy.

But I did anyway. He won Best Male Dress that night. and thats three years in a row for him.

His effort in his costume is not a joke.

seriously.

also, I asked cBuzz who was taking this picture, "Nampak kasut ku?"

LOL #priorities

 picture by: Buzz

 picture by: Buzz

Mandatory toilet picture

Picture by: FiffyFaizah

Fiffy and Buzz.

Buzz DIY her own Kimono. 

Kudos lass!

and I realized, I didn't take much picture with other people. LOL oops

on that night also, it was my 10th anniversary appreciation award working with BBB.

We were to accept this appreciation award on stage.
it was awkward as fcuk.
coz instead of the normal name-called-walk-up-the-stage-receive-award-then-walk-back-down, we were told to lined up on stage (about 10 of us in my group), and waited as one by one of us kena presented with the award and then once done semua, baru tah turun. laik~ HR person yg in charge of that, what are you doing with your life right now?

Taken by: FiffyFaizah

anyway, point of me telling about the stage thing, is because I wanted to tell you this perasan story.
xD
the MC for the night was Nadzri, also a DJ at Bruneian number one radio station.
I LOVE listening to him on the radio most morning, on my way to work.
back to the story please.
as I walked up the stage, he was there, I smiled, and he right away said, as he pointed at his own head when he saw my head band, "That's very cute! I like that". and I was like, in, I hope, proper confident level, "thank you". I know my smile was big coz I can feel my cheeks hurt. but that could also be from my stage fright. hahahaha
So, becoz of that nice comment, I decided to take picture with him when the function ended and before ia hilang/balik.
He was nice! He agreed to take picture with us.

Picture by: Buzz

I hate how I looked in this picture.

argh!

and that is a wrap!

Another nice evening with BBB. 

I may have strong opinion on that place but after 10 years, even I have my sense of loyalty to them.

I shall discuss about why 'loyalty' on another post.

Until then, please do look forward to my next posts.

I have them all scheduled this month xD.

. . .

A/N: putting watermarks on pictures is exhausting!