I almost got confuse

 Ok this is a short one.

as of today, this video has 7.1m views in 1 week. 

I found out about this video when InformationOverload mentioned it. the host of IO was like "she was using her real voice" "she isn't dumb at all" and etc. So, I was intrigued and I went and watch the video.

To be very honest, I never really keep up with Paris Hilton other than knowing she has some bomb diggity smelling perfume! I'm not about to review the content of this video tho but I want to point out another thing; I really don't know or can't remember how she supposed to sound like before watching this video. 

butt! that was not the point of why I wanted to share this!

I wanted to tell you that, the moment I see her on that video, all I can think about was, "why she looked like Jeffree Star?"

and

GASSSSSPPPPP!

Jeffree Star was copying her! 

Like Jeffree uses Paris as her inspiration or something, "when I grow up, I wanna be like you" kinda thing.

I mean, LOOK!

similar right????

maybe I'm delusional. maybe I'm just seeing things. I don't even know. BUT seriously, its the first thought that came to my head.

or maybe its the overwhelmingly similar big house with lots of items laying around. (ok, the Jeffree video I shared here isn't about his house. I shared this one becoz his 'perwatakan' here is what my mind went to when I watched Paris's video).

please tell me you are seeing this too. the similarities.

. . .

LINE Play 2.0

hi Guys..

LINE Play

I think I've talked about this before and I remembered my ex-work mates laughed at me for being 'passionate' with a game sampai making a post about it. I didn't feel offended tho. Instead, I take it as a compliment. LOL 
coz to me, anything that helps me escape the real world (and its heartache) is a good thing.

this post is inspired by below youtube video.




hashtag relatable.


So, LINE Play.


I started back in 2013.
Actually, I'm not sure when but the new updates and upgrades has this:

it indicates when my avatar was created but they called it the 'Avatar Birthday'.

recently the game has major updates. they came at the right time, I was already neglecting the game for awhile before that. I mean, adalah I play once in a while, collecting gems thru finishing the basic quests. but, yatah tu, kalau ku malas, malas lah ku main. 

Like in the video above, most of their 'shops' didn't have any update for years. and if you wanted new things, you gotta get them in the Gachas and the good ones (a.k.a. Disney ones) cost 'cash' (real money) instead of 'gems'. the one that cost 'gems' usually not that interesting? cute, but i can get by without.

I remembered downloading this game becoz it reminds me of the Facebook game called Pet Society. they have the same concept; do daily quests which consist of visiting friends, clean, water plans, pet their animal, to get gems (a.k.a. money).

So you can imagine how boring this game became after a while. 🤷



Now, as I mentioned earlier, they have new updates; 

- The Garden. kira, doing something outside the house lah ni.

- Atelier. erm, kedai jahit?

The materials needed in the Atelier can be obtain from The Garden; harvesting the tree for 'Drops', mining the rock for 'Fragments', and fishing for 'textiles'.

i didn't get it in the beginning, I even 'give up'. LOL 
but i tried again and I'm getting the hang of it now. which makes me wanna play more.

currently I'm busy collecting materials for my Atelier. it kept me busy, at least. I get to make new outfit. I doubt I can finish a single task. when you 'craft' it, it was like a lottery, either you'll get the one you want or not. i guess that's the basic thing for LINE Play; try balik2 sampai dapat. LOL

the daily quests now includes the 'Footsteps'. 

Usually, once I finished the quests, that's when I finished the game as in click out or tap out. 
Why I even bother finishing the quests? Because! when I finished a quest, I earned points for My Circle.
AND when I earn points for My Circle, I can get free gacha ticket for a limited edition Gacha. currently its going-to-the-movie themed. I like it. I love the Popcorn head. 

i think kan, the Gachas from Circle are the only Gachas I like nowadays, 
coz 
1. Free Gacha Tickets! 
2. New theme every month. 

Last month, October was Halloween themed (obviously),

September was Summer Breezy Camp themed, 

and August was Under-the-sea themed. of course, 

I hardly ever get a complete set, but still, most of the time, I can make a full outfit from the theme.  

  

Hmm.. i guess My Circle is one of the reason I still play this. I mean, at least, it really is something new every month.

Obviously this is just something I can go far at in the virtual world. I don't gain anything valuable for the real world other then:
1. Don't gamble. nobody really wins.
2. A peace of mind.

basically, I like this game. it's the only one yg I feel the most interactive?
Upside? good for letting time pass. 
Downside? too much time wasted!

Don't worry about me being too consumed by this game. I usually play when I actually have time to spare; lunch break and at home. this is not the game you play when you are doing something else. 

what about you guys?
any game you play at least once a day?
share them down in comment box below.

. . .

Enough

I hate how everything is Jonghyun that Jonghyun this

I have nothing against him or Blingers or fellow Shawols

I'm just against everything is so easily connected to him nowadays

eg 1. His album sales was phenominal.
I'm not saying its bad, I'm actually glad.
but why can't his previous album be phenominal too? when he was alive? when he needed the assurance most??

2. His MV reached 2mil in less than 24hrs.
WHERE WERE YOU ALL MASA HIS PREVIOUS RELEASES?!
why now baru th interested and commenting You've worked hard, Oppa.
come on!

3. SM and maybe SHINee management too, decided to not sale Jonghyun related merchandises at SHINee World  Concert the Best From Now
to me, lurus bah. orang nya nada sudah, it wouldn't be right to be still getting profit/advantage like that.
some even commented "SM should make an exception"
*rolled eyes*
would you want me to sell merchandise of your love ones once they passed away and take all the profit from it.
Pahamilah.
I know this news is especially hard for Jonghyun bias.
but remember, his Poet | Artist album might not be out if it was not becoz of SM.
SM already make an exception thru that album. its the last goodbye.
not to mention whatever legal actions base on their decisions.
Kindly be more open and understandble, ok?

4. with this news about SHINee losing a member by suicide are overwhelming.
Key was right to post a request on his IG; to treat them as before, to give them support.
Yes, I am one of that Shawol who wanted to see OT5 ever since Onew's scandal.
but if we insisted to see OT5 when we all know that that is impossible now, we don't just hurt ourselves, we hurt the remaining member of SHINee too.
SHINee is now a 4 member-ed group.
that doesn't make them any less SHINee.
they are still SHINee.
and we need to continue supporting SHINee as we always have.
of course, right now, with extra compassion.


I don't know if I want to listen to live stream of the concert in Japan this weekend.
macam alum ku ready.
in my head, there will be a lot of moment where they might paused and a little lost coz they have the raw-est of feelings.
I can't.
tunggu tah ah smpi ada fanaccount with subs.


. . .

The above was composed on 15th Feb 2018.

Edited 14th Mar 2018.

1. I still feel the same as the above as of now.
2. I was right to not stream the concert coz when I did, everyone was so emotional, SHINee and Shawols. I shed another tear.
3. I wish for them to take a year long break. to mourn. to grieve. to get everything together at their own phase. I know life goes on but I think they deserve that break.
4. time. we need more time.

. . .

what the TOOOOTTT

I told you that I'm gona tell you what I watched on youtube that made me go
"what the hell did I just watch?!"



it's a video documentary about the existent of mermaid/merman.

In the beginning it was all very promising, Animal Planet claims the Rights to this video so naturally I thought, this could be it. I was excited to watch this 'never before seen footage' that they were about to share. 

but first, let me clarify:
I believe there are creatures in the deep ocean that we have yet to discover (or not meant to discover). and this believe alone made me scared of the ocean.
Scared of the ocean means, as fascinated as I was with Little Mermaid, I would prefer not be in the ocean to go and find merpeople.

I did come across two fiction-novels revolving around Mermaids; the Forbidden Sea by Sheila A. Neilson and Monstrous Beauty by Elizabeth Fama. and I wondered what books these two ladies read, what researched they gone thru to be able to write such detail 'myth' and back stories about mermaid.

but even with those curiousity, I didn't think much of it.

I got the word 'merpeople' from JK Rowling. She mentioned it in Goblet of Fire.

anyway,
the reason why I went 'what the hell' after watching this movie was because, I read the comments and turned out, that documentary, the 'never before seen' thingy was all 'made for tv' or 'for entertainment' only. 
like, did I just waste 1hr of my life for something that is not even real?!

dammit!
hahaha
I know it's not real to begin with
but I thought I'll be seeing the real mermaid or merman. not the typical fishtail lower body, but you know, something that prove their existent.

I hate it when my hopes and dreams crashed.
I should really listen to my own advise, "Don't believe everything you read/see on the internet"

. . .

Winter's War

Caution: Spoiler Alert!

I thought I'd love this movie to death

but boy was I wrong.

reason to watch this movie:
1. Emily Blunt
2. the trailer said its the story before Snow White, so my expectation was maybe its the story of the step mother, knapa ya jadi jahat and all that.
3. Emily Blunt.
4. I figured there's gonna be a fight for power between the two sisters and the Winter sister died coz she wasn't in Snow White and the Huntsman
5. Emily Blunt.

hahaha I really like her. she's versatile. I watched her played a snob character in Devil Wears Parda, and then being poise in Young Victoria and being funny as hell in 5 Years Engagement and she sings in Into The Woods! i know 4 movie saja to be all 'she awesome' 'great actress' but you gotta admit, she really is brilliant!

anyway,
I watched the movie and I was very disappointed.
the acting, the scenery, the funny punch line, were all on point.
but the storyline kinda suck!

first, the 'story before Snow White' was kinda short.
I thought the entire movie was a story told before Snow White
but it was not even half through the movie!
3/4 of the movie was during after Snow White reclaimed her kingdom!
what was that all about?!
such misleading trailer!

second, even if the trailer was misleading,
I thought the 'Winter's War' part would be on point.
but it's not!
I thought the 'Winter's War' was between the two sisters, and that Freya, the Winter Queen, miraculously win against the 'gold' Queen (that Queen from Snow White and the Huntsman).
sekali rupanya, it was more like a war during winter. or war that leads or turns to winter.
it wasn't even the the Winter Queen yg do all the fighting. it was all done by her 'children'.
memang ada a 'fight' between the two sisters but it was towards the end and almost insignificant.
I don't know. I'm just mad at how the story turned out.
so everything is just a huge disappointment to me.

third, Finnick was there. hahaha
I mean Prince William, apparently the husband of Snow White in Winter's War.
I thought she ended up with the Huntsman?
rasa wah kan masuk kan cFinnick ah! I guess becoz he so famous now.
Sam Claflin. he was in the most famos Hunger Games Catching Fire onwards,
Pirate of the Carribean Stanger's Tide, Love Rosie, and soon (if not already) in Me Before You.
both Love Rosie and Me Before You are movies from books adaptation.

how he looks like, if you're wondering ^.^

No, this is not the upside of the movie.
Prince William appeared for like 5 mins top jua ganya. again, not very important aside from Prince William telling the Huntsman about the missing Mirror. other people could've informed the huntsman. *shrugged*

fourth,
they should have more scenes on the funny dwarfs!

fifth,
why is the mirror so blur?
I doubt that you can see yourself in it.
but I guess it was more like mirroring whats inside of your brain and heart.
*another shrugged*

I guess that is all that I have to say for this movie.

I hope the third one would we a lot better than this. if ever they decided to make a third installment of this series.

and I should lower my expectation next time.

. . .

Still not used to

it's the 14th of February and I'm still not used to being in 2016. 
I kept thinking that the year just started when in fact we're almost done with the second month!

it is save to say yg I haven't done anything productive.
1. I didn't even finish checking off 'books I've read' list.
2. I have not move on to my next phone case DIY project.
3. I haven't started any exercise regime (the most MUST DO thing)

as the sun goes down today (when it was still 13th Feb that is), I thought to myself, "I should read a book later" but ended up wasting my time on my phone browsing Instagram over something so irrelevant and by 9pm, I took a shower and after that cooked dinner. and spent almost 3 hours outside leaving my phone charged in my room.

Do you wana know what's the thing, though?
the reason why I left my phone to charge in my room was because i think I've spent too much time on it, rechecking all my social media apps for something so petty! 
i need to get away from it!
it's evil!

and I'm not even kidding!
I know I'm not addicted to drugs but it feels just as bad!

I missed reading books. as in holding onto physical book and reading from it.

I have tons of ebook on my phone but reading from my phone is just not the same.

banar tah tu (it's true then) yg me buying an ipad would be a waste of money;
1. I told people (more like trying to convince myself) that i want an ipad for games and reading my ebooks
2. i used the same reason when I first plan on buying my iphone 6plus. and look where my games and ebooks now? Not played and not read.

Ok fine, I did read Mortal Instrument but stopped halfway coz I decided to start reading Scorch Trial. but same all, I haven't finish reading that coz I only ever open my book apps when I'm not checking my Instagram. which i check all the time out of habit v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ

*Iklan* I just realise; it's Valentine's Day. ٩(♡ε♡)۶
hmmm... I should've bought chocolate or cakes tadi. *Iklan*

I saw this lady at the restaurant last Thursday after work and she was reading a book.
She was so engrossed in it that had me thinking, 'was I like that last time?' and had a sudden realization yg that me had long been forgotten.



the above picture says it all. o(TヘTo)

When I got into my room tadi, I thought i'd started reading one of the book but ended up checking where I left off with my own fanfic instead hahahaha
I guess that's a start, right?
but that short lived coz I decided I'm inspired enough to write a post here. ( ￣ー￣)φ__

I feel like I'm lost. like, no sense of direction!
I need to set a short term goals for me to focus on. at least that would give me the sense that I am going somewhere.

. . .

Play Play Play

I bought new nail stamp last month and finally got the chance to use them properly last Friday while watching Sherlock Holmes.

Here's the outcome:

Ignore the ugly cuticles and focus on the nails deco, shall we?
LOL

from a far they looked like inai. Especially with that nail polish color.

The very first attempt using the stamp (while I was watching Anastasia), 
well

it was a complete mess.

Maybe next time I become a pro.

a/n: I need to do something with my super dry cuticles.

. . .

(Pretend) Recital Practice

I'm not sure if I've always known this habit but;
I search lyrics for my current fav song and start to menghafal the song like I was going to perform it in front of a live audience, when I'm stressed/pressured/depressed/etc.

LOL

and it's great way of losing or letting out my anger.

thus, here's the new song that I've been practicing; Ailee's 한걸음 더.
the English translation is One Step Closer.

and this is the 5th Korean song that I took the time to 'hafal' the song by studying the Hangul lyrics.
in case you guys curious what's the other 4 songs are, let me list them down real quick;
1. BoA - No.1
2. SMTown - Dear My Family (I AM ost)
3. SMTown - Hope
4. So Hyang - Arirang Alone

No. 2 and 3 atu aku hafalkan konon nya kan sing-a-long time liat concert di Singapore few years back. hahaha 

I know, I'm like Kpop lover and cheese. There should be at least a SHINee song in that list, right? but honestly, I love the songs but still prefer Japanese song over Korean. Coz I can pronounce Japanese (reading the romanization of course, not the real Japanese character) better than I can with Korean. LOL! 

Anyhoo, 
Like I did with BoA's Close To Me, I'm going to share with you guys Ailee's 한걸음 더 lyrics here.
it's not mine, I took from a website via Google search.
Let's menghafal this song together now~~!

keep it together my child
울지 마 dry your eyes
더 이상 숨지 마
크게 소리쳐 봐 아픔을 외쳐 봐
뒤돌아 웃어 now
길이 없던 난 멀리 보이는
불빛으로 다가가고 싶은데
다가갈 수 없게
너무나 아픈데
무너져 버린 나를
희망으로 날 잡아준 건
시간이 지나면
괜찮아질 거라고
모두가 얘기해
조명이 켜지면 아무도 모르죠
슬픈 표정은 gone
잠겨 있었던 내 감정은 어디로
다가가고 싶은데
다가갈 수 없게
너무나 아픈데
무너져 버린 나를
희망으로 날 잡아준 건 너
나 포기하지 않을게
no no 또 하루를 보내
서로를 위해 한 걸음 더 가깝게
다가갈 수 있게 받아준 그 사람
어두웠던 내 맘에 사랑으로
날 밝혀준 건 너

and here's a audio video with the lyrics also, just so you know what the song sounds like xD



I had tears in my eyes the first time I heard this song. and I don't even know what it means at that time. ahahah 

. . .

a/n: I know I've been depressed with myself lately and I really don't know what to do with this anger. and yesterday, the last straw had been thrown my way and I am done. It's been long overdue and it's time to move on.

. . .

Out of boredom

and laziness.

I went shopping yesterday for new Silver marker (coz the one I had was faulty), and as always, I ended up buying more than just a Silver marker.
I bought these too.

I bought the green ones back when I was doing the August Doodle Challenge (but never actually use it for the challenge).
and now I wonder what I should be doing with them. I still have plenty of kiddies marker pens to choose from, not to mention my Sharpies too.

So what I did today was to color my Ariel. 

I printed the 'coloring' image from the internet (found it on Goodle search).

I know, very sloppy. LOL. well, I'm no professional.

I don't know where this 'coloring' craze came from.
maybe it's from what I've been seeing on IG's explores page; people been posting colored pages from that famous coloring book. I don't know where it originally came from but I know I first saw the thing from Key's IG post few months back. and the written letters were in Korean.

Now, I saw these coloring books at our local bookstore too. Only it's in English. Although I considered it cheap, I haven't got around to buy them. I'm scared that this phase I'm in is only temporary. besides, I am such a lazy person that even if I thought of it, I usually ended up not doing it. LOL

anyway,
i thought I'd share this recent thoughts here;
I once saw someone posted a collection of their sketch books and I thought, "I wish I could draw too" and proceeded into thinking of buying a sketch book for myself.
But yesterday, as I was buying the markers and looking thru some small sketch book to buy, I realized, I am no artist (not the one that draws anyways) and decided to stop the frenzy of buying art supply and such.
On my way home, I kept thinking (and realizing) that I already have a collection of books/journals. they may not be as awesome as the one that those artists have; with their anime like drawings, majestic colors, etc. but my diaries/journals are all and filled to the brim with writings.
I think it's awesome that I actually have diaries/journals collection. 
How many people have such collections? I mean a collection of something you yourself create? I'm guessing not so many.
I remember writing or typing the saying of Anne Frank's, "I may not know how to draw but at least I can write".
So, as I sat here this afternoon, wondering (still) about what to draw, I decided to just let go of that ambition and just settled with coloring instead. I colored so well. LOL

all I'm saying is that, I'm glad that I have this sense of trying to draw. In another word, I'm trying to find myself again thru this. "Try and Error," as one of my fellow Team Building buddy once said. 
It's never too late. the good thing about it is that, at this age, you become less stressful over your error and learn quickly to move forward onto another thing.
it may look like I was giving up but lets face it, drawing doesn't just happened over night (as do success), they took a lot of years to perfect.
Just like writing. I don't just write like this out of no where. It took me my entire high school life to find the confidence to even write this long for your viewing. even when you don't read it! 

I guess, from my point of view, people only ever interested in my art when I have a lot of pictures posted together with any of my lengthy post. So that's what I did all these years with my posts. To keep people interested, I either posted something short with one picture or if I decided on something lengthy, I make sure I have some pictures attached in it before posting.
It gets a little frustrating sometimes trying to figure out what makes people happy with my posts.
BUT
that always short-lived and I ended up posting whatever I want.
xD

. . .

Onew has a sexy back.

No hate.
. . .

DIY : Do It Yourself

I was dead bored the whole of last week that I went shopping

ヾ(＠⌒▽⌒＠)ﾉ

on eBay.

and as I was browsing thru so much random shiz, I came up with an idea; how about I make my very own phone case?
like this one

Not my photo as marked.

the plain phone case was DIY-ly designed using a fake-whip-cream clay with little knic-knacs, or decodens, as they called them on eBay (or anywhere else in the world).

I watched a couple of videos on youtube and I think I can do it too.

and the whip-cream-clay was easy enough to make; dry air clay mixed with liquid glue and water (with measured amount of course). I could buy them on eBay but we all know that would take ages to arrive to Brunei (especially with Free Shipment. coz I'm cheapskate and don't like paying express shipment v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ)

But i did buy a couple of decodens from eBay. 

this is not my picture. and also not the sample of decodens that I have bought. 

this is just an example.

I shall start decorating when those things arrived. For now, I shall relax and buy some more. muahahaha! Nuh, just kidding. I am currently thinking of whether I should start a business doing a customize phone case. ᵔᴥᵔ

or I think I'll just buy a few tiny bits of deco at the Mall or something to start my DIY. They probably cost a bit more than the ones from eBay but better than having to wait for my parcel to arrive next month!

I'll share some pictures of my very own phone case when I finally made it one day. 
Let us all pray I have the will to stay motivated. \m/(>.<)\m/

. . .

the 28th Birthday

Gosh I'm getting old.

but that's just how I feel when I look at the number.

Inside, honestly I feel normal. I still feel, well, me.

10th Sep

Spent most of my day time at home and in the toilet (coz I was sick with diarrhea. I still am ┐(‘～`；)┌)

Evening time, 

I went to the movie with Zawir. thanks for the movie treat, dude! 

he bought me a cupcake 

but since i was still sick, I didn't dare to eat it and plan on eating it at home but in our hurry, we lupa to bring the cupcake with us from the food court. hahaha

Scorch Trials, I can't rate it. Coz I am not happy with the 'zombie Apocalypse' . So, when I got home from the movie, aku tarus download the ebook. page 99 now. and you can just tell how much I love the book already. ◎[‿]◎

12th Sep

Lepak time with Geng Keras (+ 1 a.k.a. Kuch's Husband)

they surprised me with cakes (yes, cakes; a RedVelvet cupcake from Buzz, a rainbow cake from Kuch and Chocolate cake from Zawir; he said, 'no more utang ahh' LOL).

THANK YOU GUYS! You awesome! I was touched and thankful. as cKuch's husband said. "saranghaeyo" LOL (and I replied as I clapped 'my work here is done!') ♥‿♥

I was still sick of course, and felt sorry for them coz I kept disappearing to the toilet like, more than necessary LOL Sorry guys. I'll make sure my health will be in order by the next time we hang out. :D

on a brighter note, it has been a fun birthday altogether. ( ･_･)♡

thank you.

. . .

Yaayyerrrr

I finally caught up with my August Challenge 
and just in time too.

D27: Comic

who doesn't read Doraemon when they were young? I know someone who still reads them to this day. v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ

D28: A Memory

this was that one memory that I could not really remember other than it's a very funny one. Zoey and Kuch would remembered. We laughed so hard at that time.

Another thing yg I remembered was I wanted to be sick so bad!

(and I did get sick the next day LOL!)

To those who do not know; when you combine Durian with any carbonated drinks it makes your stomach grumble and for me it made me had a 'homemade' diarrhea. 

LOL!!! x10!!!!

D29: Embarrassing Moment

well.. I don't like reliving my most embarrassing moment. it usually resurfaces when I was about to fall to sleep. I'm telling you, it wasn't a pleasant feelings. So, for me to try and draw those moments is really a big nonononononononononononono (x infinity)

D30: Loved Ones

It's not really a 'enough said' coz nothing is ever gona be 'enough said' for the ones you love.

D31: Banner to Congratulate yourself for being able to complete this challenge

YAYYER! ♪┏ ( ･o･) ┛♪┗ (･o･ ) ┓♪┏(･o･)┛♪

the lightness I feel in my heart and in my head when I finally finished that banner.

Thank you for a fulfilling August, Esma. you awesome! thank you for this. it has been awhile since I last had a goal to achieve. So, with this finish, I feel happy. and of course, relief. hahahah

maybe in September I can concentrate with my Shoot Straight story?

. . .