Guess who's Back?

Hi guys

I am late! 

I was supposed to post something on April 1st but I was just not rajin enough to on my laptop to do so.

Thus, here I am, April 7th.

Tomorrow's gonna be a touchy day and being me, I might forgot about it. So, that's a good thing.

I've been trying to read again.

I got thru a few chapters of Patrick Ness - More Than This.
up till chapter two, the story line reminds me of Constantine, the movie, where Keanu was in the parallel hell world scene. 
currently my book mark is in chapter three.

I also got thru a few couple of chapters on AFF; 
a story by Peanutbuttercup, called Water Lily. Click here if you are interested to read them. I'm not sure if you have to log in to read that but give it a try. ;) I don't call her story 'a fanfic' becoz her style of writing is beyond that. She's an awesome writer. So go and check it out, tell her Vengeance sent you xD

Usually, when I started reading, I become so in my bubble. 
and apparently that is bad for the society.

*mata ke atas*

but society can suck it

coz at the end of the day, I'm gonna have to take care of myself.

Also,

I've been trying to write.
I've wrote (checked Word)
*ketawa dulu*
hahahahaha
I must've love the number two. coz, I wrote two chapters baru. 
hahaha
it's still stagnant in chapter three. :P

I wanted to write and read again and I have this notion; I should just 'start'.
no matter how little the progress is, it is still a progress.

I wana feel like I have something more to do with my life after work.

I don't want to always feel like I need to go home just to scroll thru all my social media on my phone.

There has to be more.

I wanted more.

I just typed 'hope I will be myself again' and deleted it.

It made me wonder, 

who am I?

Coz I don't really know anymore.

I've been reading quotes where they say "it is ok if you are not who you are a year ago. becoz that's just mean, you are growing"
but
there's also this scene from Khloe's Revenge Body episode where a participant was trying to be his old self again coz the he now is so withdrawn from the world and became anti-social.

So, is the me now better or not?
I feel like I'm not better.
I feel so stagnant like my third Chapter. 
I feel like, I need to be my old self back to move forward.

The old me usually have so much to do during the night that doesn't involve scrolling thru social media on her phone.
Some nights, she would write. another night, she would read. other nights, she would try and do some fancy DIY on her journal.

that's the me that I wanted to be again.

I just want to have that creative momentum going again.

coz the me now is not really feeling good on the inside.

. . .