a little bit of me

as you all might have figured it out,
I'm an easily pissed person.

So, below screencap pissed me off.

Why?

one,
how very impatient of you.

two.
fcuk off.

and three,
how do you actually respond to people when they compliment you of your beauty/prettiness?


All my life, and I'm not exaggerating, I always think that I'm "not pretty enough" or in my worst case scenario, I feel like I'm "ugly" "I know I'm always second best", etc, that sort of things.

at the same time, I've heard people compliment me; "manis sanyum nya" "you're actually quite a looker" "you're very pretty, Az" to mention a few. and when I hear this, at that moment, I felt good and thanked you.

but do you know what's inside my head before and after that compliment?

of course you don't. so let me tell you.

My mind set will always be "I wish I look like her" or "I just want to be pretty"

and I mean, ALWAYS.

you know in every movie/drama ever made where there is a female-less-attractive character who guys often skipped over or never noticed her existent when standing next to the hot female character? I relate to that girl so hard.

Coz that's how my real life is.

As I grow older, I talked myself into believing that my 'inside' yg ugly, that's why they don't like me.

do you know how fucked up that was? telling yourself that you're not a good person and to just deal with it?

It's very fucked up.

No one should feel that way.

and that guy in the screencap?

If he compliments someone and expected to be praise back with emojis, He can just go and eat dung.

Maybe she is not used to compliments
Maybe she does not know what to say other than "aww Thank you"
OR
Maybe she already know yg she's pretty and typing "aww Thank You" to be humble
Maybe she noticed you and doesn't have any interest in you that instead of typing "ewww pls go away" she typed "aww thank you"

HAHAHAH
nah ko!

either way,
that guy sucks.
becoz to me, if he's a nice guy, he wouldn't be saying 'bitch' to her.
if he's a nice guy, he'll find a better way of phrasing his frustration.
*shrug* Just my opinion.

also, to me, just as soon as he was praising her prettiness,
he went on saying those mean things to her.
He made her feel good one moment and that made her feel like she was shit in the next all in the same text.
You don't go around making people feel good JUST to make them feel like shit.

You just don't.

Maybe you have your mind set to not accepting bullshit from other people

but you shouldn't be sprouting bullshit to other people in the first place.

#Ain'tThrowingShade
#Triggered
#EatDung


. . .