Why?

Most of the time, I'm not even sure who am I doing this for?

Is it really for me? 

or for whom ever that I'm supposed to prove myself to?

I've always thought, when I'm older, I'd be certain about alot of other things but I guess we are forever the student of life. 
because no matter what you've learned last year or the year before that, you just don't have a clue. or you do have a clue but too stubborn to change your ways.

and why am I so angry all the time? and bitter? why?

I've consulted myself, saying, I'm worth the while. No matter how much I've lagged behind,  I am worth something. 

So, why do I feel like I'm worthless? why do I feel like I'm not good enough?

Am I doing this wrong? Niat tu salah kh?

I just want to know. 

I know and very well adapted to 'everything happened for a reason' concept.  but didn't you wish, even once, that you know what those reasons are?

. . .