~~Naega Ara~~

"Dream world is always perfect but that's not my real life. Wish you did but you don't know the me I am inside," Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana's Barefoot Cindrella.

I know that I've been living in my world of fantasy for as long as I can remember.
I know I've been obsessing TOO MUCH on these so call idols (Westlife, SuJu and SHINee to name a few),
I know I may come off carefree, shok sendiri, and love-less.

but here's the thing that you don't know...

My fantasy world: I KNOW IT'S NOT REAL. I KNOW IT'S A WASTE OF TIME. but it's the only way i could escape this madness we call REAL LIFE.

My Obsession: I KNOW THEY'RE JUST FIGURES. I KNOW AM NEVER GONA END UP WITH ANY OF THEM. IT'S JUST AN OBSESSION.

My shok sendiri kinda attitude: ever heard of attitude-cover-up? Just becoz I didn't tell you the story of my life, doesn't mean I haven't experience anything. and FYI i've been in love before. I've cried myself to sleep. and I even wished to die to some extend (for the cry myself to sleep and wishes to die atu, bukn pls love sja lah..psl A LOT OF THINGS. psl love skali sja ku pernah. and when i think about it, its the stupidest thing to do. -___-").

I know, at times, it looks like I don't know and not listening to what you're trying to convey to me. I do and I actually giving them extra thoughts, believe it or not. I believe I'm quite a thinker (too bad Fairies don't really exist or i'll be you're Tinkerbell in the sky~ xP) and when I'm super quiet there, best believe that my mind is working over time.

I once posted this on my Sasha fb acct. i forgot the exact word but it sounded close lah... erm... cemani... To tell everyone about your problems and whining about stuff; you're actually telling people of yr weaknesses. So it's best to just keep it to yrself. something cematu lah. i know bukn plang..but yeah. close.



To my bestfrens and closest of frens; I know i've kept so much from you guys but I think I have my rights to keep most things to myself. It's not that I don't trust you, but I don't want you guys to see me as a weak person. (I know I AM WEAK) I know most of you will still be there for me no matter what, but for now, I think, i'll deal with these madness on my own. thank you for the concerns you've showed. I ams touched. Don't worry. I KNOW am not alone.

P/s: yg buruk tu, kesilapan diri sendiri and semua yg baik atu, dtgnya dari Allah jua...yes, I know about this too.