Another life disappointment

I am upset. very the upset.

I don't want to be including the IG seller here coz I feel like its not her doing but I still wanna. on second thoughts, I'm not gonna. Not becoz I'm classy but becoz I am lazy to screenshot. (ANDDD proceeded to screenshot anyway coz I'm lazy to type the whole thing)

So, back story:

back on Mar 17, 2020, I came across a picture on IG; Colorpop x Mulan collection. 

I'm a huge fan of Mulan and is excited for the Live action movie (which is still delayed by the way. at Cineplex it says they will be showing Mulan in Aug 2020), obviously I want to have this collection. 

I clicked on the user and those items were on Pre-Order basis and ETA was 3-4 weeks.

On Mar 18,2020 9:27am I made the preOrder. Full pymt was required. I don't have account with the seller's bank so I only bank-in the same day at 7pm.

and then, Covid Lockdown happened to the world.

I'm the type of buyer that doesn't like to chase. I don't want to bother or annoy the seller. 🤷

May 1, 2020. I finally asked the seller the update on my orders. Seller came back with a screenshot from Colorpop.

I understood the situation and thank the seller? but in reality, i was not happy with the seller. They should have contacted EVERY buyer in regards to that updates. Don't just expect me to come and ask you. but like i said, I understand and let it go.

June 17, 2020. I asked again for update. 

again, not very happy with the respond but what am I supposed to do? this thing is global.

and lastly July 19, 2020. the most devastating follow up ever. 

Once again, this seller just expect people to read their post. 

and most of all, the item is never gonna come. argh. 

Again, I understand its out of the seller's control but I would appreciate if they would just return my money in the mean time. 

Like the other previous Colorpop seller; when there was another month delay, they offered to refund first but once the item arrive, they will comeback to me first before reselling it in case I still one to purchase that item. 

This is ridiculous man. From Mar 18 till Jul 19, thats 4 months! the seller should've refunded first. 

Not that I would take the refund becoz I really want those collections. LOL 

but seeing how they didn't even think of refunding me, they seems confident that them items will definitely arrive? albeit, super delayed? 

That was what I was rooting for; my items to arrive!

tapi now, poof. Hancur harapan.

and will be refunded in 6 weeks? after I waited for 4 months?! That June respond was unnecassary. "in USPS transit" konon. false hope.

I'm never gonna do preOrder anymore after this. I have no problem preOrdering, I just want my items to arrive. and don't be calling me impatient. I asked this seller once a month for an update and not once did I request for a refund (coz goddammit i really one those collections!). If that is not patient, I don't know what is.

Sigh.

Look at them. 

So pretty.

So red.

So Mulan.

hanya dalam mimpi.

but if you can find this item anywhere, let me know. I might order this via ebay actually. might cost a fortune to ship but at least I will have it.

DM me.  

FOR ONCE I WANT A MAKEUP COLLECTION SO BAD!

. . .

Oh! here's the story from the Seller before this one.

Netflix second chance

alright. I'm getting the hang of this new features on Blogger. or Blogspot. 

I think it's a lot easier if you're composing a post on a tablet of some sort coz I still can't figure out how to 'quickly' choose a Label or Tag. 

the fun part is I can easily add a video for a post (I learned that when I was editing using my phone 👍), you literally just go to the video tap and click on 'youtube' and search the video you want to add. its freakin simple.

AND

I can easily add in emojis without having to go to another website/window to copy paste from. 👏👏👏

So far so good. That Label/Tag thing tho. I need someone to tell me the 'quicker' way to do it.

Now, onward.

Netflix. 

I almost unsubscribe last month. coz I feel like I didn't use it often enough.

but then, they have Hunger Games and I downloaded them and started watching again, like I've never watch them a hundred times before. 

10/10 will watch again.

and then I saw they have Ready Player One, Charlie's Angel 2019, Geostorm, Little Women, and the Grinch (thus far) and I was hooked.

I watched Geostorm first. 

coz I have seen this move kena play di laundrymat but I never finished watching it so I was glad when I see it on Netflix. the movie kinda reminds me of The Day After Tomorrow, and 2012. similar vibes. 5/10

Next I watch Charlie's Angel 2019. 

coz Naomi Scotts a.k.a Jasmine from Aladdin 2019. She was Elena in Charlie's. 

BUT it's Kristen Stewart's character, Sabina, that impresses me. or maybe Kristen's acting. I mean, Twilight fucked her up. I actually knew her from Catch That Kid, Panic Room, AND Zathura! She's a good actor. 

anyway, 6/10

Ready Player One. 

my friend said its a good one so I give it ago last Saturday.

gives me Total Recall and Alita vibes. 9/10 will recommend.

as I'm making this post, I'm watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine. 

each episodes has at least 22mins. my kinda series. those hypes on IG posts did not disappoint so far. Yes, I have seen snippets of this series, a lot, on IG. thought I give it a go. currently on Episode 6. 10/10 will recommend binge watching with me. They funny.

No, I have not forgotten about Little Women. 

Yes, I have downloaded that movie, but I have not watch it yet. coz, I watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine instead 👆

there's another series I'm interested in watching; Juon, the series. 

I mean, HOW MORE 'ORIGIN' CAN A STORY GET?! didn't the movie have like 3 sequels?! AND THOSE SEQUELS WERE LIKE GOING BACKWARDS TOO.

oh wait. maybe I got this wrong. maybe that 3 sequels were for The Ring? hmmm...🤔

ANYWAY! I'm still a scardy cat and I haven't convince my brother to watch with me.

will update you when I did.

do you think these number of movies and series in a month worth my subscription? Do i need to watch more?

tapikan...

sometimes I don't have time or good internet connection to watch more.

Suggestion?

. . .

Pretty Little Liars

I finally finished the series. I finally did it!

bought the fourth arc (book 13-16) back in 2016. 

Crushed, Deadly, Toxic, and Vicious.

took me forever to start (Four years to be exact) and when I finally started back in March 2020, I only read book 13 on the weekends whilst I was doing my laundry.

and I think I stopped somewhere in between and began again in Jun 2020 till I finished and then continue to finish the other 3 books by 3rd Jul 2020. Wow. even I find it crazy!

If I accumulate those times/days, I finished 4 books in a month! dammmmmm #readingisfun

and the ending? a bit weak. 

but you gotta give it to Sara Shepard, applause for producing them 16 books. 👏👏👏

I don't know why it took me F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to finish this series. They're the type of books that are just easy to read. I love it! but yeah, that ending, a tat bit weak. I guess you gotta give them a happy ending considering what hell they been through, right?

Look at them. So satisfying.

it's satisfying to finally see them books together in a section.

Last time, Arc 4 was put at a different section.

see how lonely.

Is it me or is it normal to not have a complete, same cover, book series? coz with this series, I have two outsider covers.

Book 1

the copy that started it all.

and

Book 8

Book 8 cover was probably released when the series was made into TV show and got famous.

I still have one more book to read of this series, Pretty Little Secrets.

I bought it probably back in 2013. its the companion book kinda thing. 

There's another one I just find out exist while reading Arc 4. At the 'by Sara Shepard' page it says, there's another companion book called Ali's Pretty Little Lies.

🙄

being the 'I must collect them all' kinda person, I need to have this book too. OR I could just download a pdf version. (I learned that book is being pdf while I was Googling for the cover)

Nice color! (Shawol anyone?)

Nyeh.

It'll probably take me another 4 years to read it once I get my hands on it.

Oh wait! it says on the cover its a Prequel? Now I gotta have it! maybe when this pandemic is over and we can finally fly again, I'll head straight to Kinokuniya and find it!

or maybe not. 

I need to move on and let this - BUT I need this collection to be complete!

argh! WHY

. . .

2 weeks of sad, and my July Bujo Theme

Hi.

First of all, I am tired.

Second of all, there's nothing I can do about it.

Which then leads me to being super upset. I couldn't even push myself to do anything else but willow in self pity. I couldn't open my journal to write down my feelings. I didn't even start my Bujo July Theme until 15th July! Imagine!

So, here's what's that look like:

I forgot who's July Theme inspired me to do mine but it wasn't AmandaRachLee. hmmm..let me just *check my History on youtube* Ok, it was from annika's leaf.

It was simple and I thought I could use a change; from drawing/coloring myself to using craft papers.

which I happened to have a lot of. 

(these two are the only one I have at the moment)

After I finished that I thought I'd be happy or temporarily so but I wasn't. 

My heart was still heavy and my eyes burned. 

to simply put, I am not happy. Not at all. Yeah I laugh out loud but only becoz I can't be upset in front of people. 

No one cares. 

No one listens.

It's not their problem.

It's mine.

and I'm ashamed to admit but my brain, it went dark. it still is. 

I'm aware of it going dark. I remind myself to not be. but it continues. 

I know people's gonna say "You're overreacting" "You're being dramatic" "it's all in your head" and I'm telling you, I am aware. I'm aware that maybe I am overreacting. Maybe I am being dramatic. Yes, it's all in my head. 

but explain this:

I was listening to EXO -  Power, the supposedly uplifting song in Kpop and one of my favorite song as well but why the hell was I thinking about is jumping of a bridge?

tell me what was that all about?

I imagine a better future, I can see them but at the same time, I'm not going anywhere. I'm stuck here. in this body. in this shell of a body. and I am not happy.

I. am. not. happy.

I. am. not.

Tell me where I can find help.

. . .